Sunday Schedule: December 20, 2009

Here we go, Eagles, HERE WE GO!

I love December. Particularly since we tend to play so well. Well, except for the 4 days a week of football - it's hard tot set aside that much time, yo! Some of us have to do Christmas shopping!

ThNF: Colts/Jags (only we won't be watching it, as we'll be at the Inn at Little Washington celebrating lucky 17)
SaNF: Saints/Cowboys (I see 8-6 in my crystal ball)
1 pm: Eagles/49ers
4 pm: Chargers/Bengals
SuNF: Vikings/Panthers
MNF: Giants/Redskins

That's a lot of games, dawg!

Menu-wise, we're going out on a limb. Chef Spouse doesn't like to experiment on guests, but Ex-Navy Cheesehead has requested sauerbraten with red cabbage, so we're going to experiment (and it's a good thing I checked out the recipe now, because we'll need to start it marinating no later than Friday!) Bring German beer.

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2009 Week 14 Recap

Eagles at Giants, Sunday, December 13, 2009

In attendance: Shoegal, Ex-Navy Cheesehead, Prototypical Eagles Fan, Chef Spouse - the regular crowd

Menu: grilled cheese, cream of tomato soup and VICTORY (and cheesecake)

Stud of the Week: I'm going with two this week. I can't ignore Peanut, who has now tied the record for 50 yard plus TDs in one season (8) with Devin Hester and Crazy Legs Hirsch. And there are 3 more games to go. But I also can't ignore the Axeman, who racked up 8 tackles and 1 assist, despite currently being held together with duct tape and bubble gum (seriously - I expect an arm to pop off on the field at some point).

So here's how the game went: run-run-run-score (Giants). LOOOOOOOONG pass-score (Eagles). Run-run-run-score (Giants). LOOOOOOONG pass-score (Eagles). Not exactly a defensive grind it out win. Did both teams' defenses accidentally go to the Linc? If I had a quarter for every time I yelled, "TACKLE him, DONKEY!" I...well, I wouldn't be able to retire, but I'd certainly be able to get a nice pair of shoes. We couldn't stop Brandon Jacobs to save our lives.

On the other hand, they couldn't stop DeSean. I think opposing defenses are going to have to start sending their safeties back to the end zone. "I know they're at their own 3. Back up. No farther. No, FARTHER. Look, just head for the parking lot until I yell STOP!"

I think I had about 37 heart attacks in the third quarter alone. You know that scene in the extras for "The Incredibles," with Kari the babysitter, where Jack-Jack's powers have come out and he keeps bursting into flame and she keeps putting him out? That was Chef Spouse with the defibrillator.

There was some bad officiating, of course - Trent Cole was being held ALL DAMN DAY, Brent Celek got totally mugged in the end zone and...nothing, Quintin drew some "say what?" penalties, the zebras took 3 sure points away at the end of the half, and what the hell was that whole "forward fumble" call on McNabb? When a QB "forward fumbles," you know what that is? An INCOMPLETE PASS, DUMBASS!

And the Giants did get the lead. For all of 19 seconds. Yeah, I loved that play. "OK, here's the play. Peanut, you run that way REALLY fast. You other 9 guys stay in and block." "Isn't DeSean going to get, like, quadruple covered?" "Nah - unless they're hiding Usain Bolt over there, nobody's that fast." "Break!" Although there is a downside - no rest for the weary (defenders).

Of course, when it mattered, we put together a 91-yard 8 minute drive where we never even hit 3rd down. And when it mattered, McNabb and Avant came up with a 2 point conversion to tighten the screws. And when it mattered, up 7 points with the Giants taking over with 1:31 left, our defense protected the lead. Which they've done for the past four weeks.

And I saved the best for last:



Around the rest of the NFL...

I don't mean to scare you. Um, you better sit down. And brace yourself. Are you ready? Are you sure? Really, really sure? OK, don't say I didn't warn you...

Browns over Steelers. First time in 6 years. Groceries (and he really was - he was sacked 8 times on Thursday night) has NEVER lost to the Browns. Can someone please explain to me what's going on in Pittsburgh? It's like they've all forgotten how to play football. Y'all need to burn some sage or something.

Saints over Falcons. Barely. And with the Falcons without Matt Ryan and Michael Turner again. And you never know with divisional games. But the Saints are still winning. I do feel more confident of our ability to keep up with them in the scoring department if it comes to it in the playoffs, though. And I think it might. Also, how much money does Drew Brees make? Could someone please take him to a decent barber? I know they have them in New Orleans - Chef Spouse got a great haircut there over Thanksgiving. What about Aidan Gill on Magazine? Little help?

Ravens over Lions. You know the Lions had to be thinking, "Can we just go home now, please?" at the end of the half. Actually, they're probably thinking, "Do we REALLY have to play the final 3 games?"

Packers over Bears. Is Jay Cutler a complete disappointment or what? Most picks for a Bears QB in 60 years. And locker room dissention, big time. Oh yeah, that big contract was a good investment.

Texans over Seahawks. Go Texans! Team of Destiny! Still in it!

Colt over Broncos. Oh silly me. Will I never learn? That's it - I'm picking the Colts next week, even if they're playing God.

Dolphins over Jags. Speaking of still in it, the Dolphins could still win the division, particularly with 2 of the Pats remaining 3 games on the road. Go Fins!

Bills over Chiefs. Whatever.

Vikings over Bengals. I have a theory. OchoCinco didn't do any kind of crazy TD celebration, and the Bengals lost. Coincidence? I think not. Bring on the clown cars and confetti!

Pats over Panthers. Well, sure - they were playing in Foxborough.

Jets over Bucs. Speaking of teams that are still in it, the Jets are also still in the running for AFC East. But they have a tough remaining schedule and a crazy man for a coach, so that's not helping them.

Titans over Rams. Like *anyone* is surprised by this. I'm pretty sure I could do better than 5 picks and 1 TD. Apparently, there are NO QBs in St. Louis. I talking even high school QBs. Also, is Chris Johnson a beast, or is it just me?

Redskins over Raiders. Told you. Bet they beat the Cowboys in two weeks, too. Poor Jason Campbell. Cerrato and Snyder have definitely dicked him around, and he does not deserve it. Also, now that they're down to third string nobodies, notice how they're playing better? Like a...TEAM?

Chargers over Cowboys. Ah, December. Most wonderful time of the year. I'm not positive, but I think Tony Romo may have been crying at the end. On the NFL Network's Sunday morning show, the guys were talking about the 3 most under-rated QBs (leaving aside Rocks, Peyton, and Drew Brees). You know which two were on everyone's list? D-Mac (of course) and Phillip Rivers. Berman could still be right - we could see a Chargers/Eagles Super Bowl this year. You know what else they observed? That the final game of the season is in January, which should help the Cowboys. Only they won their last playoff (aka "January") game in 1996. So I don't think that really helps them all that much.

Right now, the 49ers are up 7-0 over the Cardinals, who are not looking brilliant so far. Ouch. Second turnover. Two comments: "Alex Smith is the QB of the future." Right now in San Francisco that seems to translate to, "He'll play the second half." Also, I really wish someone would make Chuckie take a Valium before the broadcast starts. I love me some football, too, but CALM DOWN.

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2009 Week 14 Picks

So ever since King Kaufman quit writing for Salon, I've been looking for someone to write picks that make me laugh. I finally found him (why doesn't it surprise me that he's attached to the Rachel Maddow Show?)

Anywho, we're playing the Giants. In prime time. And once again, all the sports commentators are all about the Giants, who have apparently righted their season, eaten their Wheaties, sacrificed the goat, etc., and are now going to make a triumphal run to the playoffs.

In the meantime, the Eagles are BANGED UP. Seriously, I think Andy Reid was like: "Hey, we have a Gatorade cooler. We could slap a jersey on that puppy and throw him in at right tackle!" The sad part is that they're planning to play a tackling dummy at linebacker, too.

And yet, despite all that, Big 5 was all "At my signal, unleash HELL!" against the Falcons last week.

It's December, Bitch. Do NOT mess with the Eagles in December. Because WE WILL MAKE YOU PAY.

Giants, schmiants. Fly, Eagles, fly! On the road to the playoffs - again!

Steelers/Browns. I'm going out on a limb here and picking the Steelers. They've been struggling recently, but they aren't struggling THAT badly.

Saints/Falcons. Saints. My money's on 16-0, baby.

Lions/Ravens. OK, the Ravens are also struggling. But it's the Lions. THE LIONS. Ravens.

Packers/Bears. Packers. HAH! Jay Cutler sucks. As I believe I may have pointed out, like, a MILLION times before.

Seahawks/Texans. Texans! Team of Destiny! I'm back on the bandwagon! Also, the Seahawks suck.

Broncos/Colts. I keep picking against the Colts, and they keep punking me. Dare I pick the Broncos? Oh I dare, all right. Apparently I never learn. Broncos.

Patriots/Panthers. I'm REALLY temped to pick the Panthers. But the Pats are playing for their playoff life (and how weird was THAT to type?), and I just can't do it. Not that I wouldn't love a Panthers win, preferably because Belichick decides to go for it on 4th and 32 at the Pats 3 yard line with the Pats up by 2 in the last 45 seconds of the game, but, really, how likely is that? Patriots.

Dolphins/Jaguars. The Fins are also playing for their playoff life. As are the Jags. Should make for a good game. I won't be watching it - there are too many other excellent options in the 1 pm timeframe Sunday - but it should be a good game. I'm taking the Dolphins.

Bengals/Vikings. Are the Bengals for real? Have the Vikings been feasting on an easy schedule? We should have some answers by 4 pm Sunday. I'm picking the Bengals. With my fingers crossed. Which makes it tough to type, let me tell you. asdjpirtrt9ub,.

Bills/Chiefs. Bills. Whatever. Who cares? Did you hear that TO's becoming a model? I knew playing outside a major media market would freakin' KILL him.

Jets/Buccaneers. I'm going out on a limb and picking the Bucs to upset the Jets. Why? Two words: Kellen Clemens. Who is no Mark Sanchez. Who's not all that to begin with.

Rams/Titans. Titans. Man, oh man, are the Rams bad. The Skins are all "maybe we need to blow up the team and start over." No, you do not need to start over. The RAMS need to start over. Actually, they might want to burn the Jones Dome to the ground and salt the earth.

Redskins/Raiders. Of course, that still doesn't mean that the Skins are good. Because they're not. And they're without Clinton Portis, maybe forever. Raiders.

Chargers/Cowboys. You *know* the Chargers are going to win. So do I . I just hope they don't make Tony Romo cry. That's our job.

Cardinals/49ers. Damn it. The Cards seem to be getting hot at just the right time. Again. Cards. Damn it. Could someone pants Fitz to ease the pain? Please?

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Sunday Schedule: December 13, 2009

The NFC East is tighter than a rock star's leather pants, and it's Eagles/Giants in prime time, baby!

ThNF: Steelers/Browns
1 pm: Packers/Bears (but if the crowd votes for Saints/Falcons, Colts/Broncos, or Vikings/Bengals, we're willing to entertain the idea of switching)
4 pm: Cowboys/Chargers
8 pm: Eagles/Giants!
MNF: Cardinals/49ers

Menu: grilled cheese & cream of tomato soup, at Shoegal's request. Possibly accompanied by some sort of yummy baked dessert, now that my ovens are working again.

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2009 Week 13 Recap

Eagles at Falcons, Sunday, December 6, 2009

In attendance: small crowd - just Shoegal, Chef Spouse and me

Menu: four cheese pasta - yum!

Stud of the week: Mike Vick, who was personally responsible for 14 points. And that was a SWEET swing pass to Brent Celek, by the way. And a nice, if slightly underthrown, long pass to Reggie Brown (no, he's not in the witness protection program).

Big time honorable mention goes to Leonard Weaver, who had another big game for us (including that totally impressive one-handed grab, and too bad he's not as fast as Peanut, or he would've had two TDs, too) and to DMac, who was the picture of class - as always - about Vick's success. Sheldon Brown also gets a mention for picking off Chris Redman, going 83 yards, and taking it to the house on a bum hamstring. Maclin had a good day, too. I nominate Leonard Weaver for the role of Dorsey Levins and/or Duce Staley - the guy who can get 3 yards with half the other team hanging off him. Actually, Leonard can be Duce, and Brent Celek can be Dorsey.

Actually, lots of guys stepped up. Akers, who is leading the league in points, tied his career high 17 field goals in a row. He then missed one (aw, damn!) before making another. LOVED the goal line stand at the end of the half. YOU SHALL NOT PASS! And Asante Samuel must be reading this blog, because he actually STARTED TACKLING. It was impressive.

The zebras were doing their best to keep to keep the Falcons' drives alive - OK, I *guess* Sean Jones did hit Chris Redman in the head with his forearm, although it was clear he was pulling up, but seriously, Quintin Demps 15 yards for tackling a guy who wasn't even down yet? Really? What is this - flag football?

It wasn't perfect - Brent Celek, you MUST block better, we didn't pressure Redman as much as I'd have liked, and we had some dropped potential picks - but we DEMOLISHED the Falcons, so I can't gripe too much. Particularly not with AR likely to get an extension this week (and do follow the link - it actually made me laugh out loud, and not just the lame texting abbreviation thereof).

Around the rest of the NFL...it was bizarro week.

You know how there's one week where you literally get EVERY SINGLE pick wrong? Well, that was pretty much this week for me - I got 7 right, which for those who are good at math, means I've gotten 8 wrong - so far.

Jets over Bills. Well, OK, that wasn't terribly bizarre. But they did lose Mark Sanchez. Which given the way he's been playing recently may not be a bad thing. Who's their #2? Oh right - Kellen Clemens. Yikes.

Panthers over Bucs. I was sure the Bucs were going to snatch one. Wrong.

Bears over Rams. Whatever. What's sorry is that is was 17-9. Because the Rams are awful.

Bengals over Lions. Again, yawn. Even OchoCinco's celebration was kind of dull. OK, I get the Fiesta Bowl link, but a sombrero? That was worth a fine?

Colts over Titans. Damn. I was sure the Titans would continue their win streak. Sigh.

Jaguars over Texans. When you're featured on the Monday Night Countdown "C'mon Man!" segment, it is not a good sign.

Broncos over Chiefs. Even if the Broncos are having a late-season swoon, the win over the Chiefs was still a gimme. Matt Cassel sure was worth all that coin, wasn't he?

Dolphins over Pats. OH MY GOD! Go Dolphins! Also, did you like how Rocks threw his team under the bus after HIS interception killed their final chance to win? Um, the rest of the team may have had problems throughout the game - and the defense is certainly struggling - but YOU threw the pick all on your own, donkey.

Raiders over Steelers. I know I just said this, but OH MY GOD!!!! I don't feel so bad about losing to the Raiders now. Who knew that Bruce Gradkowski was the answer? Wait - what was the question? Also, their head coach is still an ass. Just FYI.

Saints over Redskins. You know how it's better to be lucky than good? It's best to be both - and NOT have Shaun Suisham as your kicker.

Chargers over Browns. The only thing that was surprising about this game was that the Chargers only won by 7.

Giants over Cowboys. BWAHAHAHAHA! Tony Romo actually played reasonably well. It's just the rest of the team that sucked. 31-24 doesn't really reflect how dominant the Giants were over the Cowboys. Also, Flozell Adams is an ass. PS: I love December!

Seahakws over 49ers. Who cares? Really - who cares? Do the fans even care? NFC West is so sorry. Well, except for....

Cardinals over Vikings. Wilbon mentioned in the Sunday WaPo that the Vikings have been feasting on a bad schedule. I think it may be time for famine. Also, did you see how many picks Vicodin Boy threw? LOVE! Guess who else tends to have trouble in December... And, while players are getting pantsed and all, could someone swing that on Larry Fitz? I'd love to see a little more of the Best Butt in Football.

In the meantime, we need to decorate the Christmas tree (which finally stopped dripping all over the floor, after getting it in the snow - IN THE SNOW - on Saturday), and the Ravens need to go lose to the Packers. I would point out that it would help us if the Ravens could pull out the surprise win, except we're going to win NFC East, so it won't matter!

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Sunday Schedule: December 6, 2009

We're down to the wire! Which means the Annual Cowboys Collapse is due, oh, about now. YAY! Sunday's games:

1 pm: Eagles/Falcons
4 pm: Cowboys/Giants
8 pm: Vikings/Cardinals

MNF: Ravens/Packers

Menu? Chef Spouse has been mum so far. So apparently, it's Mystery Menu week. Call Sunday morning if you need more deets.

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2009 Week 13 Picks

It's go time! December, final quarter of the season, the run the playoffs. It's on, baby!

Up next for the boys in midnight green: the Atlanta Falcons. The Eagles are hurting. Life-Long Eagles Fan Mom and I were chatting this afternoon, are we surmised that Westy is out for the season, UNLESS (until) we get in the playoffs. They're still "keeping an eye on" Peanut. We're banged up in almost all areas of our team, and we still have major linebacker issues. The only two who seem fully healthy (knock wood) are DMac and Akers (who was named NFC Special Teams Player of the Month for November. Congratulations, David!).

On the other side of the ball, Matt Ryan is definitely out for Sunday, and Michael Turner is unlikely. Which is good news for us. I'd feel even better if someone could lock Tony Gonzalez in a closet somewhere. The Falcons are desperate, battling to stay in the wildcard race. And they're playing at home. And they're 5-0 at home this season.

But it's December. It's our time now. Look for the Eagles to keeping rolling and keep up the pressure on the Cowboys, with a key win in Atlanta.

Jets/Bills. The most interesting part of this game is the fact that it's being played in Toronto. Why can't the NFL Network get decent games? You'd think they would have an in. Jets.

Bucs/Panthers. Bucs. Upset pick. They almost sneaked past the Falcons last week, and I think they will pull off the win this week. Not that it really matters for either of these teams. If you're not at least at .500 at this point, it ain't gonna happen, homes.

Rams/Bears. Bears. Because when you're playing the Rams, it doesn't matter how bad your QB is, he's still the best QB on the field.

Lions/Bengals. Bengals. Who are going to the playoffs. Where I think they're going to get creamed. But that's later.

Titans/Colts. I keep picking against the Colts, and I'm almost always wrong. But I don't think I will be this week. Titans.

Texans/Jaguars. OK, the Texans really *should* win this game, and I'm not even joking this time. Texans.

Broncos/Chiefs. The Broncos have definitely not been delivering on their 6-0 promise in the past few weeks, but they'll win this one, just in time to give their fans a little 2-game-winning-streak hope, just before they yank the rug out again. Next week. Broncos.

Patriots/Dolphins. The Saints have just shown us the way to beat the Pats - and get Belichick to bench Rocks Brady in the process (I still can't believe they GAVE UP with 5+ minutes left!) - be unstoppable on offense. Sadly, that is not a feat the Dolphins can duplicate. Pats.

Raiders/Steelers. The Steelers are struggling mightily - and mostly unsuccessfully - this season. But they'll be successful this week. Steelers.

Saints/Redskins. The Redskins have been playing better. And the Saints may not go undefeated this season. But they will this week. Saints.

Chargers/Browns. Chargers. Also, ouch.

Cowboys/Giants. I think the Cowboys are f-ed. It's December, Tony Romo is still taking the snaps, and they finish the season Giants, Chargers, Saints, Redskins, and us. I see them going 1-4 over the final 5 games. But *this* week is the game they'll win. Cowboys.

49ers/Seahawks. Man, is the NFC West bad. Just like last year. Only one team about .500 (Cardinals), and they're 7-4. Then again, they did the same last year, and they went to the Super Bowl. Which just goes to show that you never know. Except I know that the 49ers will win. Speaking of the Cards...

Vikings/Cardinals. Vikings. Not that it really matters, because if they can get to 8-8, the Cards will probably win their division. Did I mention that the NFC West is really, really bad?

Ravens/Packers. Much as a Ravens win would help us in the wildcard race (although I hope it won't matter because we'll win the division), I don't think they'll pull it off. Packers.

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