"Westbrook Breaks Free..."

Chef Spouse first truly became an Eagles fan in the Andy Reid era. His position, with which I cannot argue, was that for many years, the three most exciting words in football were, "Westbrook breaks free..."

This week, another great Eagle has retired, as an Eagle, as it should be.


Thanks for everything, West36. You were part of a small, special group of players that defined Eagles football for nearly a decade.

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2011 Week 11 Picks

I'm writing this while watching "The Top 10 Things We Love About the Giants-Eagles Rivalry."

Some great memories - Randall Cunningham's acrobatics, Chuck Bednarik's famous hit on Frank Gifford, Runyan versus Strahan, Brian Westbrook burning the Giants A LOT, Osi Umenyiora pretty much decimating DMac - good times. Even the clips from losses. Good rivalry.

This weekend will NOT be good times. This week, the Eagles travel to New Jersey to take on the Giants in prime time. You know, when the NFL schedulers put together all these prime time games for the Eagles, I'm guessing they were expecting more from the team.

Heh.

So was I.

Remember the last time the Eagles played at the New Meadowlands (or whatever the hell they're calling it now)? The Miracle at the New Meadowlands? Where I was there? Trying to avoid getting murdered by the angry Giants fans?

Yeah, this game is going to be the exact opposite of that game.

Well, actually, this game will probably be EXACTLY like the first 52 minutes of that game, in which the Giants kicked the Eagles asses all over the damn field.

It'll be the exact opposite of the final 8 minutes of that game, when suddenly every last single thing went precisely the Eagles way. Not much is going the Eagles way this year.

And it just got worse. Two words for you: Vince Young.

I think it was the Bleeding Green Nation tweet stream that pointed out that, with the way things have been going, Vince Young will probably play great and produce a win, leading to the only bad news the team has so far managed to avoid this year: a QB controversy.

While that would be ironic, I don't think it's going to happen. I also don't think the Eagles stand a chance.

Giants.

(As an aside, have you heard the news about Victor Cruz's birthday party? What is it with the Giants and shootings?)

In the rest of the matchups:

Jets at Broncos: Jets. I think. The whole damn league is so screwy this year, who knows? But I really do think the Jets are the better team. Then again, TEBOW! Am I talking myself out of this? No - Jets. Even without LT. I think.

Raiders at Vikings: Raiders. Chef Spouse and I were talking about who we see going into the playoffs now (as opposed to back in late August, when I made my typically "what was I smoking?" picks), and I think the Raiders could win the West this year. Poor Jason Campbell. He seems like such a nice guy, and he just can't catch a break.

Bills at Dolphins: Bills. I know they're coming off a bad loss and the Fins are coming off a big win, but the Fins beat the Redskins. That hardly counts.

Jaguars at Browns: Browns. I know they have the same record and all, but I have a good feeling about the Browns.

Cowboys at Redskins: Cowboys. Thank God for the Redskins. They're what's keeping the Eagles from being the dregs of the NFC East.

Buccaneers at Packers: Someone might beat the Pack this season, but it's not going to be the Bucs. Packers.

Panthers at Lions: Lions. Things have been a little up and down for them, but come on. They aren't going to lose to the 2-7 Panthers.

Bengals at Ravens: Call me crazy, but Bengals. The Ravens are so inconsistent this year, they're making my head spin, and meanwhile, the Bengals are a team on the rise.

Titans at Falcons: Falcons. Who are having their own struggles this year, but are still pretty tough to beat at home.

Cardinals at 49ers: 49ers. Who I think are going to face the Packers in the NFC Championship game this year.

Seahawks at Rams: Rams, in my upset pick of the week. It's not as crazy at it sounds - they've won two of their last three, and the Seahawks tend to have trouble on the road.

Chargers at Bears: Bears. Who are looking damn fierce at this point. When did Jay Cutler become a decent QB? Maybe with Devin Hester, Matt Forte, Brian Urlacher and Lance Briggs on his team, it doesn't really matter.

Chiefs at Patriots: Pats. Just when the Chiefs start to turn it around, Matt Cassel goes down. I don't even know who Tyler Palko is...wow, just checked the stats. He's been in the league four years, and is 9 for 13. Lifetime. That's not 9 games won out of 13 played. That's 9 passes completed out of 13 thrown. Lifetime. Just had to say that again.

On bye: (and this really is the final week of byes, after a bye week for byes) Colts, Saints, Steelers, Texans

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2011 Week 3 Recap

Eagles v. Giants, Sunday, September 25, 2011

In attendance: we were at the beach, so us, a bunch of the people we were at the beach with, and all the loud Eagles fans at Fred's Tavern. Plus this one guy who was a Bills fan. Man, did he have a good day!

Menu: bar food. 

Stud of the week: we're three games into the season, and Shady's already repeating. He was pretty much the single bright spot on Sunday. Well, Shady and the wings at Fred's.

OK, y'all - why didn't somebody tell me it was End the Streak Week in the NFL? I might've called our game differently if you had. People! Need the info here!

Mike Vick is not happy about how the hits he takes are getting called, or, to be more precise, NOT called. Two things occur to me: first, he could be right. Secondly, does he remember his first year with the Eagles - you know, when McNabb was still the starter? Did he actually WATCH any of the games? Or wait - he thought it would be different for him. Welcome to Philly, man. I have to admit, when I first heard the quote, I thought Vick was calling out the offensive line, for whatever that's worth.

Two things killed our boys on Sunday: they couldn't finish once they were in the red zone, and they couldn't get off the field on third down.

So why couldn't the guys get off the field on third down? Because it sure as hell looks like NO ONE can tackle. NO ONE. C'mon man! But one hopes that can be fixed with some practice. Or possibly some yelling. Or threats to trade guys to the Chiefs.

Taking field goals when the other team is scoring TDs? That's a HUGE problem.

You know what else is a huge problem? The Falcons and Giants have gotten TDs on pretty much every trip to the red zone the past two weeks. The defense has given up EIGHT TDs in the last two games. And they're getting MASSIVELY outscored in the fourth quarter. Is it lack of talent or lack of coaching?

Another thing that really concerns me is that the past two weeks, the Eagles have had a lead, Mike Vick has gone down, and the team has completely fallen apart. Seems to me I remember not so long ago a key player could go down and the rest of the team would respond by pulling together (remember 2008? or 2006? or 2004?). Where's the locker room leadership? Where's the guy who rallies the troops or kicks their butts as the situation requires? Used to be rookies were drafted, guys were traded or acquired, but McNabb, Westbrook, Dawkins, and, even in his Bad Assador days, Hugh Douglas provided a core around which the team could come together. Right now, they're just a bunch of guys playing football, and when adversity hits (as it ALWAYS does in the NFL), they fall apart.

Somebody has to start stepping up. Fast. Where's the heart?

Around the rest of the NFL...

Panthers over Jaguars. Cam Newton did NOT have a big day, but the Panthers were still able to deliver his first win over the not-very-good Jags. Also, welcome to the Blaine Gabbert era (anyone else flashing on "Pretty in Pink"?).

Saints over Texans. Thanks to the Sunday Ticket, mobile edition, we were able to watch this game in its entirety from Fred's on my phone. Which burned my entire data plan for the month, but whatever - it was a barn burner. Both of these teams promise a shoot-out to any team they play this year. Oh, and you know that whole field goals versus TDs thing? Yeah.

49ers over Bengals. Great. Not only do the 49ers have momentum, Frank Gore is likely to be back next week. Sigh.

Titans over Broncos.  On the topic of Pyrrhic victories, the Titans lost Kenny Britt for the season.

Browns over Dolphins. The Browns are winning ugly, but they're winning. The Dolphins, on the other hand, are toast. Have you seen their division?

Bills over Patriots. See above RE: End the Streak Week. The Bills fan at Fred's was so happy, it almost took the sting out of the Eagles' loss. Almost. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed watching Rocks Brady lose. Also, I look like a genius for picking the Bills. Or at least I would if it weren't for:

Ravens over Rams. Why did I pick the Rams again? Temporary insanity? Poor Spags - they're vying with the Chiefs for Worst Team in the League. Sam Bradford is regressing so badly, I'm pretty sure someone's going to have to re-teach him to read and do basic math next week.

Lions over Vikings. The Vikes are another team that can't seem to remember that football games are FOUR quarters long. Also, the Lions snapped something like a THIRTEEN year streak of losing to the Vikings in Minneapolis. Wow.

Raiders over Jets. The Jets, putative Super Bowl contenders this year, did NOT play like it on Sunday. Aren't the Jets supposed to be solid against the run? Not this time. It's good to see Jason Campbell enjoying success.

Chargers over Chiefs. I think the Chargers should be really worried that they only won this one by three. I'd be worried if I were them.

Bucs over Falcons. Interesting. And so the wheel turns again in the NFC South? Maybe.

Packers over Bears. No way Devin Hester should've been penalized and not Sam Shields. Sorry, but BOTH guys were equally at fault. Not that it would've changed the ultimate outcome, but it definitely put paid to any Bears attempt at a comeback.

Seahawks over Cardinals. All I saw of this game was a BEAUTIFUL completion from K2 to Fitz. Apparently, that was about the only thing that went right for them all day.

Steelers over Colts. The Steelers just barely squeaked by...Curtis Painter. Really? Yep. I think it was Warren Sapp who pointed out that the Steelers are old and slow this season. He's not wrong.

Cowboys over Redskins. How in the bloody hell do you manage to muff EVERY SINGLE DAMN SNAP all night long and take ALL your points as field goals and still WIN? Oh right - Rex Grossman remembered that he's Rex Grossman.

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Good luck & Godspeed, Westy

Well, it's official - the Eagles have released Brian Westbrook. I'm sad, but not particularly surprised. For his own health, I hope he chooses to retire.

In the meantime, enjoy this great video tribute I found & remember the 3 most exciting words in football for the past 8 years: "Westbrook breaks free!"

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2009 Week 16 Picks

Westy's back! Merry Christmas Eagles fans! Chef Spouse may get to hear his 3 favorite words this weekend: "Westbrook breaks free!"

Wolverine will be back, too. Miss you much, baby. Too bad your team is gonna lose.

Yes, Eagles fans, we are in the middle of our annual December romp into the playoffs. If we can pull off the win over the Broncos at the Linc this Sunday (likely), and the Redskins can pull off the upset over the Cowboys (highly unlikely, as you'll realize if you happened to see any of Monday night's disaster), we can wrap up the NFC East. You know what's funny? We could go 11-5 and be the #5 seed if we lose to Dallas on January 3 (quick, somebody knock on some goats or sacrifice some wood....wait....). In the meantime, 9-7 would win the West. No justice, man.

Anyway, back to this week: the Broncos started hot, at 6-0, had a bye, and have only won 2 games since then, losing to the Steelers, the Ravens, the Redskins, the Chargers, the Colts, and the Raiders, and beating only the Jets and the Chiefs. I can't talk smack about losing to the Raiders (sigh), but I could beat the Chiefs. All by myself. And while the Chargers and Colts are clearly very good teams, the Steelers and Ravens aren't living up to expectations this year. And the Skins? C'mon man!

What this game comes down to is that I don't think the Broncos will be able to shut down our offense - particularly at home - and I don't think they can score enough points to keep up with us. Fly, Eagles, fly!

On the increasingly-poorly-named Thursday Night football Friday night edition (Why don't they call it what it really is? Not Monday Night Football), the Chargers haven't lost in December pretty much since the powder blue throwbacks weren't throwbacks. I don't anticipate they'll have too much trouble with the Titans. But at least it should be a good game. Chargers.

Bengals/Chiefs. Bengals. Even if poor OchoCinco is too sad to play.

Bills/Falcons. Both teams are playing for nothing but pride at this point. Falcons, completing their sweep of AFC teams in New York.

Seahawks/Packers. Look for the Packers to rebound from their disappointing last minute loss to the Steelers and whup up on the Seahawks pathetic butts. Michael Wilbon recently observed that Jim Zorn will definitely get hired again after lil' Danny Snyder FINALLY fires him. Evidence? Look what's happened to Matt Hasselbeck since he left Seattle. True dat, knucklehead.

Texans/Dolphins. This should be a good game. Both teams are technically still not eliminated from the wildcard race. Team of Destiny? You bet I'm picking the Texans.

Ravens/Steelers. Ravens. Polamalu's still out, and the Steelers are NOT the same team without him.

Panthers/Giants. Think the Panthers can pull off another upset? Me neither. Giants.

Jaguars/Patriots. The Jags are also still in the playoff hunt. Won't matter. Pats.

Raiders/Browns. Really? Raiders/Browns? Ouch. Dear NFL: do us all a favor and blackout this game. EVERYWHERE. Raiders. Or whatever.

Buccaneers/Saints. Speaking of teams avenging a disappointing loss...Saints.

Rams/Cardinals. It's really not fair that there are NO other teams in the West at or better than .500. Cardinals. Who are totally feasting on an easy schedule. Again. Bastards.

Lions/49ers. Another game that NO ONE will be watching. 49ers. Which is a shame, because the Lions have really shown some stones this year.

Jets/Colts. The Colts will probably lose eventually. But not this week. Colts.

Cowboys/Redskins. I would LOVE to convince myself that the Skins can pull off the upset. Unfortunately, I watched Monday Night Football. Which means it's all coming down to week 17 in the NFC East. At least it will be exciting. Cowboys.

Bears/Vikings. Speaking of upsets I'd love to convince myself will happen...yeah, there's no way. Jay Cutler's punkosity is revealing itself more from day to day. Vikings. Damn it.

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2009 Week 10 Recap

Eagles at Chargers, Sunday, November 15, 2009

In attendance: Chef Spouse, Shoegal, Fellow Eagles Maniac, Limin' ABD, and two nOObs - The Illustrated Geek and Prototypical Eagles Fan.

Menu: roast chicken, mashed potatoes, French green beans, glazed carrots. The oven conked out about 1 hour into the chicken, so we had to finish it on the grill, but it all worked out fine. Go, Chef Spouse! Prototypical Eagles Fan brought prosecco and a yummy chocolate tart, and Fellow Eagles Maniac brought some wine.

Stud: CLEARLY Jason Avant, who had a career day with 8 catches for 156 yards. Including the BEAUTIFUL catch in the photo to the right.

OK, I did call us to lose the game. But why do the Eagles have to torture me with ALMOST COMEBACKS? Do or do not - there is no try.

We did see more of why DMac has the best TD/INT ratio in NFL history. He had several almost picks various Chargers couldn't hang on to. Speaking of Chargers receptions, their receivers made plays. Ours, with the exception of Avant, didn't. In his 11th season, it probably ain't gonna happen, but maybe McNabb could take a little of the heat off? Just a thought.

Speaking of long careers, the smart money says that, after two concussions in 4 weeks and continuing problems with his ankle, Westy is done - not just this season, and not just as an Eagle. He's in his 8th season, he's a running back, he's been one of the keys to our offense since 2003, and he's just not that big. It's been a GREAT ride, man, and Philly will always be grateful.

At one point during the game, I was like, "Why is Macho Harris returning kicks?" Oh, that's right - season-ending neck injury for Ellis Hobbs. "Where is Joselio Hanson?" BS 4 game suspension. "Where's Jason Peters?" Oh - that ankle injury he sustained against the Cowboys was more serious than Big Red let on.

Speaking of Jason Peters, did you notice that we couldn't punch it in from the 1? That's on the O-line.

Also, why can't Asante Samuel tackle? Shouldn't they be able to hire a guy to show him how? Like maybe Curtis Lofton? And did you notice that he seems afraid of contact? Shades of Todd Pinkston?

Actually, there were few big plays from D all day, especially in the last 5 minutes. It was critical to stop the Chargers in a place where we'd get good offensive field position. Instead, the Chargers waltzed on down the field, scored another 3 (just to be on the safe side) and left our offense with about 30 seconds. You know when we win games? When the D comes up big with picks, fumbles, some points. You know when we lose games? When the D is quiet. Like the last two weeks. 31 points? Really?

And why didn't we run the ball at all? Oh right - those O-line problems. So of course Big 5 had a huge day - we had no other options than throw-throw-throw. 55 attempts and 450 yards? That is not good.

And the FREAKIN' PENALTIES! Apparently we're the 5th most penalized team in football. Now, we do have a lot of young guys, so some penalties are to be expected, but 5th most? That's just a lack of discipline. Not Raiders level lack of discipline. Not Rams level lack of discipline. No Chiefs level lack of discipline. But not good.

And what's Vick doing, other than standing around holding a clip board? I have a new theory - we plan to trade him for draft picks to some crap team that desperately needs a QB (see above RE: Raiders, Rams, Chiefs). Which is actually a really smart strategy, come to think of it.

But did we stick close to a 50/50 run/pass game? No. Did our D force turnovers? No. And we lost the game. Told you so.

Around the rest of the NFL...

49rs over Bears. Did I mention I called this? Did I mention that I REALLY want us to beat the Bears in prime time next Sunday? Did I mention that we don't do well in Chicago? Sigh.

Panthers over Falcons. Huh. Maybe Jake Delhomme *isn't* done after all.

Dolphins over Bucs. It looked like the Bucs were going to pick up another win, particularly after Ronnie Brown went out. Unfortunately, it was not to be. Speaking of Ronnie Brown and the wildcat...Dear NFL Coaches. Look around. Do you see Ronnie Brown in your locker room? No? Then drop the freakin' wildcat. Not gonna work for you.

Vikings over Lions. Well, sure.

Jags over Jets. Wow. How fast did the Jets drop from "sexy pick" to "sad pick"? Fast. Sometimes there's new coach and rookie QB magic (Harbaugh/Flacco, Smith/Ryan), and sometimes there's just not.

Bengals over Steelers. Told you. Limin' ABD reminded me of the old saw "2/3 of the world is covered by water - the rest is covered by Troy Polamalu." Not anymore. He tweaked that same knee again in the first series, went out, and the Steelers are in trouble. The only bummer? No Ochocinco TDs, which means no wacky celebration. Damn. Also, anyone for a Bengals/Saints Super Bowl? Speaking of the Saints...

Saints over Rams. The only shocker is that the Rams were even in it in the first place. Go, Spags!

Titans over Bills. 41-17. That's more the score I was expecting to see from Saints/Rams. Speaking of teams that need a new QB, wonder when Dick Jauron will be calling Big Red about Michael Vick?

Redskins over Broncos. This is the upset of the week. Big time. Great. Just as we start - uncharacteristically - struggling in the second half of the season, the Redskins start doing well. Or is this just the annual Broncos collapse, Wolverine be damned? What do you think, football fans?

Chiefs over Raiders. Whatever.

Cards over Seahawks. The Seahawks made it a game - for a while - but in the end, the Cardinals were just too good. Did I mention that Fitz is my secret NFC receiver boyfriend? Are you surprised? Have you SEEN his ass?

Packers over Cowboys. Yeah, BOYEE! Shoegal reminded me that I haven't called Roethlisberger "Groceries" in a while, and he's definitely been sacked plenty this season. You know who else has been sacked a lot? Aaron Rodgers. It's good to be young - he had enough left in the tank to beat the Cowboys even though he's spent more time on his ass on the ground than he has on his ass on the bench this season. Although, honestly, it was the Packers D who won that game. Go, Charles Woodson!

Colts over Pats. The game hype was all "rivalry of the decade." I disagree - I think the rivalry of the decade is the Eagles versus the entire NFC. How many different teams have we faced in the NFC Championship Game? Anyway, who would've figured Bill Belichick to have an Andy Reid-level mental meltdown in the last two minutes? Must've missed his latest payment of babies/kittens to Satan.

Is it worth holding the recap to talk about Ravens/Browns? Um, no. There is NO way the Ravens lose this game.

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2009 Week 7 Recap

Eagles at Redskins, Monday, October 26, 2009

In attendance: For MNF, me, Chef Spouse, Deadhead Redskins Fan, her friend the season ticket holder, Cool Web Dude (Skins Fan), Hottie Web Chick, and a Fed Ex field that looked about 1/2 and 1/2 to me.

Sunday football was a whole new crew - McLovin, Wingman, Mr. Wingman, and Tweety Monster (all friends from my professional me life)

Menu: Potage au pistou, a really yummy French veggie soup with white beans and pesto, lots of different cheeses and olives, rosemary bread, the infamous guac, the equally infamous garlic crack, and lots of fun cocktails - Chef Spouse was on a roll.

Stud of the Game: You know it's gotta be #10, DJax, the Dime of 5 & Dime, your favorite and mine, DeSean "Peanut" Jackson. 67 yard rushing TD, 57 yard receiving TD, 29 yard punt return. My man is bringing it in his sophomore season! Honorable mention goes to new Eagle MLB Will Witherspoon who created two turnovers last night, one that went for 6 and the other for 3. Welcome to the Eagles, Will! We're glad you're here.

So we won, which is good. And our D looked pretty solid, particularly on that goal-line stand (which was helped by Jason Campbell's fumble). And we held Clinton Portis to 43 yards on 14 attempts (he's not the threat he once was, but that's still pretty good). And our O line looked better. And when BWest went down, our offense didn't completely fall apart, as we often have in previous years.

Our offense was completely out of sorts other than the two big 5 & Dime hookups. In my totally-has-no-effect-on-anyone-who-could-make-a-difference opinion, the problem is that Andy and Marty keep screwing around with trick shit every third play. Here are other items on Andy's Chinese food menu laminated play card that he just didn't get to last night:

• Have DMac line up at tight end
• Bring Trent Cole in as a receiver
• Lineup BWest at center
• O-line and receivers switch places
• EVERYONE lines up to the left, including Stacey Andrews and Winston Justice
• Everyone moves one position to the right
  
• All 3 QBs on the field at once
• Once DMac has the ball, he fakes to the left. No! He fakes to the right. He doesn't fake. He thinks about faking. He pretends to fake. (extra points if you recognize the reference)

It's one thing if your QB is Chad Henne. But here's a thought: have you heard of this guy named Donovan McNabb? 5 time pro-bowler, as of last night, only the 21st player in NFL history to have 200 TD passes and 30,000 passing yards? One of only FOUR players to have 200 TD passes and 3,000 rushing yards? Maybe you might want to consider just LETTING HIM PLAY QB. Sorry, haters, but when he's on the field, he's our best offensive weapon. Why in the hell are we taking him out of the huddle every third play? I know Vick is Big Red's community service project, and that's lovely, but we need to win some f-ing games here! We ALL know that one of DMac's problems is that he's streaky. He can't get ON a streak if he's constantly coming off the field.

We won, but we won ugly. A fellow Eagles fan emailed me earlier today asking if the Iggles had their first quality win. I'm sure my Skins fan friends appreciate the upgrade, but the Skins are no one's definition of a quality team. We're still - STILL - looking for our first quality win. Next week would be a GREAT time for it to show up.

And in injury news, there's more bad news for the Skins. Not only do they have the third worst owner in football and a TOTALLY ineffective GM (seriously, I think I'd do a better job than Vinny Cerrato), but Chris Cooley is out, maybe for the rest of the season, with a broken ankle. He's one of their few reliable players at this point. And as for Westy, thank God it's just a concussion. Not that they aren't serious, but when he wasn't moving we were ALL freaking out. I thought it was really nice that DMac stayed with his brother Byron (who, as you may recall is a Redskin) after Andy motioned for him to stay on the field.

Are we playoff material this year? Going into the season I thought "for sure." Now, I'm not so convinced. One thing in our favor is that we do tend to get hot at the right time (November/December) - and next Sunday is Nov 1. We'll know in just under 6 days if we *are* playoff material this year.

Around the rest of the NFL...

WHAT WAS WITH ALL THE BLOWOUTS!?!? Geez - BOOOOOO-RING! Sigh.

Packers over Browns. I have no comment about this. NO ONE has a comment about this. The Packers didn't even feel like finishing the game, but they were contractually obligated.

Texans over 49ers. It was a close game. Shaun Hill's been benched. Alex Smith got to play. Good for him! After the big Alex Smith/Aaron Rodgers draft in 2005, it was like both of them died. Or went to play in the CFL. Or decided to trek in Nepal for a while. It's nice to see them both playing. Mike Singletary obviously hopes Smith will play *better* but maybe he will when he actually gets the reps with the rest of the first team offense.

Chargers over Chiefs. Which team is the biggest whipping boy so far this season? I would say the Chiefs, but they have actually won a game. Over the Redskins, true, but in the race to the bottom, they aren't leading. That dubious honor would be reserved for....

Patriots over Buccaneers. Yes, the Bucs are the worst team in football. Except for maybe...

Colts over Rams. Hm, maybe the Rams are the worst team in football. What do y'all think? In other news, the Colts have lost Adam Vinateri for 3-7 weeks and have signed Matt Stover as a replacement. Why did they bother? All Peyton does is throw TDs. A placekicker seems superfluous.

Steelers over Vikings. Now THAT's the Brett Favre I love to hate - no TDs, a pick, and a lost fumble. Let the suck begin (I hope)! And the rest of us learned a valuable lesson. Want to beat the Vikings? Shut down Adrian Peterson (only 69 yards), and make Favre do it. Because the old man CAN'T.

Bills over Panthers. Speaking of teams that suck...well, it's probably not the *whole* team. Actually, it's mostly Jake Delhomme. At least he's really fun to watch while he's losing. Once he's out of football - which at the rate he's going could be next week - he should definitely not look to get on the professional poker circuit.

Jets over Raiders. What was I smoking when I picked the Raiders to win? Must've been the same thing as Wilbon. Apparently, we're BOTH knuckleheads.

Bengals over Bears. Man, was that embarrassing. The Bengals put up 45 points on the Bears. How's that bend-don't-break D working out in Chi-town?

Cowboys over Falcons. Damn it! We had the chance to go up one game on the whole division, and the stupid Falcons couldn't pull it together for us! ARGH! It looked pretty promising for the first half, and then Tony Romo remembered that this guy named Miles Austin is supposed to be his #1 wideout and, hey, he actually played like a #1 wideout! Damn.

Saints over Dolphins. 46 to 34. That's like a high school basketball score. 80 points? BOTH teams defenses should be embarrassed.

Cardinals over Giants. I punked out and couldn't stay awake to see the end of this game and I am SO PISSED. I even said to Chef Spouse: "This is a great game, but the Giants will pull it together, and I'm beat. I'm going to bed." STUPID STUPID STUPID. And if you look at the stats, it looks like it should've been all Giants. Other than those 3 picks Eli threw. Will Witherspoon and Asante Samuel, are you paying attention? Also, I do believe that Fitz has the best butt in football. Crucial to the game? No, but nice to look at!

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2009 Week 6 Recap

Eagles at Raiders, Sunday, October 18, 2009

In attendance: Chef Spouse, Ex-Navy Cheesehead, Shoegal

Menu: Jambalaya. Geaux Saints! Plus lots of yummy treats.

Stud of the game: there were no Eagles studs. We stunk it up from A to Z. This week's stud? Chad Ocho Cinco, who put up his OWN money to buy (and give away) 1200 tickets so the Bengals/Texans game would sell out and be broadcast locally. That's for the love of the game.

Speaking of stinking it up (cover your eyes, Life-Long Eagles Fan Mom), what THE FUCK was that?

There are (at least) two voices in my head. Voice 1, Ms. Rational, says, "Hey, it's just one game. We always come out totally flat and blow a game we absolutely should have won at least once in the season, usually in the middle third (hello, week 6), and it usually doesn't hurt us. This is just that game. Don't panic. Things in the NFL are never as bad - or as good - as they seem on first view."

That's Ms. Rational.

Ms. Not-So-Rational is PISSED.

No one played well - receivers couldn't catch, McNabb threw some bad passes in the 4th quarter, Akers missed two field goals (margin of victory? 4 points), defenders couldn't get to JaMarcus Russell. Bad all around. But the worst? The real reason for our loss? Two factors:

1. The O-line
2. Jeremiah Trotter

Axeman, I love you, but the Raiders targeted you all day. And you weren't up to it. We're glad to have you back in Philly (for the third time), we love you, we think you're great, but you're not a great linebacker any more. I hear Hugh Douglas's old Bad Assador job is open. You might want to think about moving over to that. It didn't help that everyone else was blowing tackles, too, but dude, I could outrun you at this point.

The O-line. OH. MY. GOD. They were so full of holes they make swiss cheese look butch. Yeah, McNabb was off target in the fourth quarter. That's because Mr. Broken Ribs was running for his damn life for 45 minutes. And the play calling! Westy was getting big yards almost every time he touched the ball. Why in the hell did Big Red call so many pass plays with a QB who's still banged up and an O-line that couldn't stop my 86 year old grandmother who only has one good eye? Maybe we should've asked the pigeon to help out.

And I don't think it changed the outcome of the game, but let's talk about the bad officiating. JaMarcus Russell was clearly and obviously guilty of intentional grounding AT LEAST twice. Called? Nope. DeSean Jackson got hit out of bounds - taken to the ground on the OTHER SIDE of the paint - on a kick return. Called? Hells no. DAVID AKERS got taken to the GROUND and got up with GRASS all over his ass and back after a FG attempt. Roughing the kicker? NO. Seriously? Dude's on his back.

On a separate but related note, did you know that DMac has not drawn a SINGLE roughing the passer call in over TWO YEARS? How is that even possible? Oh yeah - all QBs (coughcoughBrady) are treated equally (coughcoughPeyton).

Oh well, it could be worse - I could be a Redskins fan.

Around the rest of the NFL...

Texans over Bengals. You know, after Ocho Cinco bought all those tickets, the least the team could've done was win, for chrissakes! Maybe what killed them was me finally getting behind them? Sorry, guys.

Packers over Lions. Well, yeah. Shut out. Ouch.

Jags over Rams. Took 'em to overtime, though. Gonna be a long season in Jacksonville. Gonna be longer in St. Louis.

Vikings over Ravens. Damn. It came down to a missed FG. Killer. And will the bad Brett hurry up and show up already?

Saints over Giants. I did call this. What I got wrong was the whole "close game" thing. Not so much. And the Giants even had their starting QB, unlike certain Philadelphia teams I could name. Is it too early to use the term "juggernaut" to describe the Saints?

Steelers over Browns. Well, again, yeah.

Panthers over Bucs. I really thought the Bucs had it in them to win this week. Apparently I was wrong. 0-6 hurts. Just ask the Titans. Or their fans. I really think they should stick with Josh Johnson at QB, but what the hell do I know? Oh! Actually I do know this: the Panthers need to find Jake Delhomme's successor ASAP.

Chiefs over Redskins. See, Eagles fans? It *could* be worse. We're homicidal, but Redskins fans are suicidal at this point. Looks like the Zornmeister is going to be fired, although I still think they'll wait until the bye. But as long as Snyder and Cerrato are running the team, they could have God coaching and it wouldn't make a difference. I absolutely think that the Zorn should shock the hell out of them and just quit. He's gonna get canned and take the blame anyway. Why not go out with a bang?

Cards over Seahawks. See, I should've let myself talk myself into calling the Cards!

Pats over Titans. Why does Bill Belichick's asshatness never bite him? The Pats were up about a million points, it's snowing, and TOM BRADY IS STILL IN THE GAME. Honestly, I was cheering for a career-ending injury at that point, just to punish Belichick for being a dick. Of course, it didn't happen. It never happens. I hate that guy. And what is up with the Titans this year? I'm sorry, but that's not just the loss of Albert Haynesworth. No way.

Bills over Jets. So it turns out that teams have figured out that Mark Sanchez only makes one read. Looks like the honeymoon's over, rookie. Things in the NFL are never as bad - or as good - as they appear at first. But 5 picks looks pretty damn bad. So do the Bills, who still almost lost the game.

Falcons over Bears. Speaking of picks! But still, that was a GOOD game. Very much enjoyed watching both teams, who played well for the most part. Talk about some serious goal-line D? The Falcons allowed one Chicago TD, then forced a fumble, got a pick, and got a turn over on downs. Falcons are looking good (again) this year!

MNF? Tied up. Game's been pretty exciting. Dawkins is out with a hamstring injury. That could hurt the Broncos.

So I'll close with a little something for Chef Spouse:



(because he's wearing his #20 jersey tonight)

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2009 Week 2 Recap

Eagles/Saints - Sunday, September 20, 2009

In attendance: small crowd - only Shoegal, Chef Spouse, and me (a few others were expected, and, hey, what happened to y'all? Premonitions of doom kept you at home?)

Menu: fajitas, beer, guacamole, bourbon, booing

Stud of the week: hmmm....well, there was...no. But then...no, not him, either. What about the coaching...no way. Man, this is hard. I guess I'm going to have to go with Kevin Kolb, who faced a tough situation in his first start, and did the best he could.

Speaking of, the Philly sports writers were characteristically quick to pile on. Bob Ford feels that we've learned nothing about K2. I disagree. We learned that he was a rookie playing his first start. He wasn't Matt Ryan - although he did complete a sweet 71 yard hookup with Peanut for our first score - and he wasn't Akili Smith either - although he did throw 3 picks (but only 1 that really mattered). Typical rookie first outing. Some good plays, some bad plays, some atrocious decisions.

Chef Spouse and I were talking about the game while walking to the neighborhood liquor store (where everybody knows your name, or at least mine) for a stock up, and he observed that K2 looked best when playing a more traditional West Coast offense - the dink & dunk kind of short pass plays AR & Co have never had an patience for. We've been spoiled - we're a big play offense, and Andy seems to get bored with 3-4 yard gains pretty quickly.

Gonzo assures us we should feel free to boo the Birds, and he's right, but not because of Kevin Kolb. We should boo the Iggles because our special teams were wretched (Ellis Hobbes, I'm looking at you), and our defense was worse. If you recall, I pointed out that the key to this game was lock down D with some scoring on that end and a solid game from special teams. You can throw the entire game on Big 5's back and expect him to be able to work magic. You cannot do that with some poor kid making his first start. It's just cruel, particularly against a high scoring team like the Saints.

And can we talk about the Wildcat for a minute? Even Troy & Joe, aka the Idiot Twins, noticed that Marty had gone crazy for the Wildcat. At one point, they noted that it looked like Boise State out there (if only our D hadn't looked like Boise State - or maybe Boise Pop Warner). Did he really think that calling a trick play every other snap was the best way to let his rookie QB get comfortable and get into a rhythm? Of course, the Idiot Twins were speculating about how worried D-Mac must be watching this and wondering if the Eagles offense was going to be all Wildcat when he got back. Yeah, if you believe that, I've got a bridge I'd like to sell you (never mind - Troy'd dumb enough he'd probably fall for that).

So I think the K2 experiment deserves to be continued, at least for a while. You know what experiment needs to end IMMEDIATELY? Sav Rocca. Sure, every once in a while he booms a 60 yarder. But far too often he dinks a 20 yarder. I see where the front office was going with the whole Aussie rules thing, but call it what it is - a mistake - and move on.

Also, Kevin Curtis, perhaps you should try to remember how to catch the football. That or find a new job. I hear Best Buy is hiring. And while you're at it, get a haircut, young man! And get off my lawn!

There were a few key plays the just KILLED us:

During the second quarter, K2 completed a pass to McCoy. While being tackled, he fumbled. Maclin picked up the ball and was headed for the end zone. Except the play was blown dead, runner down by contact, which he quite clearly was not. Eagles would have gone ahead 14-10.

At the end of the second quarter, Drew Brees completed a 29 yard pass to Reggie Bush that set up a 25 yard TD to Marques Colston. The only reason Brees got the pass off rather than being turfed was a badly blown call by the officials who missed an obvious facemask committed on (I think) Omar Gaither that clearly and obviously prevented him from getting to Brees. Hell, the Idiot Twins saw it and remarked on it, and Aikman HATES the Birds. The zebras pretty much handed the Saints 7 points.

Even with all that, we were hanging in there down only by 4 at the half and due to start the second half with the ball.

Until Ellis Hobbes fumbled the kick off return and handed the Saints 7 more points.

And then, on our next possession, K2 threw the only pick that mattered, handing the Saints another 7 points. The Saints had scored 14 points in under 3 1/2 minutes. Don might've been able to pull us back from a 31-13 deficit (although the way the D was playing, it's pretty unlikely). But that was a horrible position for K2 to be in, with no realistic way to recover, again, given how poorly the D was playing.

And then our last two possessions ended with picks, which was really just adding insult to injury.

Speaking of injury, BWest and Peanut are both hurt. Peanut's got a touchy groin, and BWest is already having trouble with his surgically repaired ankle. I wonder if he can get his money back. Do those things come with a guarantee?

So in answer to the question of: Can the Eagles win without D-Mac? The answer is: not against a high-powered offense, particularly if our D decides to play possum all day. Fortunately, that whole "opponent with a high powered offense" won't be a problem next week, and hopefully K2 will get to win a game. Otherwise he might want to consider entering the witness protection program, to shield himself from the wrath of Philly fans.

Around the rest of the NFL...

Texans over Titans: HAHA, suckas! I rock! Maybe this is really their breakout year, not just my one annual completely wild-ass pick. Do the Texans even *have* a bandwagon to jump on?

Cardinals over Jaguars: WAY over. Kurt Warner LIT it UP. I don't know what happened with the Jags. Apparently their team was with our D, wasting away in Margaritaville.

Raiders over Chiefs: Yet another upset (sort of) score for me! Go me! (Well, if anything in either of the west divisions could be considered an "upset" in any other sense than, you know, pissed off).

Bengals over Packers: OK, now THAT's an upset. And Ochocinco did a Lambeau Leap, as promised. I know a lot of people think he's a complete ass, but he cracks my shit up. We all get so serious about this - he seems to be one of the few people in the gridiron universe (myself included) who remembers that this is a GAME and maybe we should all be having FUN.

Vikings over Lions: Will the Lions *ever* win a game? Well, they do play the Redskins next week...and speaking of....

Redskins over Rams: is it possible to be depressed about a win? Yes, it is. Welcome to the 2009 Redskins season. Only putting up 9 points on the Rams (The Official Whipping Boys of the 2009 Season)? Does not bode well for the next 14 games.

Jets over Patriots: Sometimes, talking a lot of smack works. Sometimes, it doesn't. Tom Brady's not looking so magical these days, is he? Not so easy to come back from a major injury, is it there, Rocks? Maybe everyone should give D-Mac a little more respect? (They already do, outside his home market.)

Falcons over Panthers: NFC South is looking pretty strong this year. Could they rep the NFC in the Super Bowl? Much as I hope *we* will rep the NFC in the Super Bowl, I'm thinking maybe.

Bills over Bucs: The Bills seem much improved. Hopefully their fans will catch on before the franchise gets moved to Toronto.

49ers over Seahawks: Frank Gore is BAAAAACK. The rest of the NFC West should tremble. Everyone else, not so much. Also? Matt Hasselback cracked a rib, too. Wanna bet on who comes back first? No takers? Thought not.

Ravens over Chargers: It was a BILLION degrees on the field. Seriously. We're talking surface of the sun out there. Only thing hotter? The play. The Ravens now have offense. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Bears over Steelers: Well, that was unexpected. Really. Majorly unexpected. Wow. The nearly-Akers-level-reliable Jeff Reed misses a FG, and the Bears pull it out. Guess the Steelers really are missing Polamalu big time.

Broncos over Browns: Buck had a good day. Go, Former Eagles!

Giants over Cowboys: Downside? I picked wrong. Upside? The Giants provided a proper housewarming for Jerry Jones's new Palace o' Football/Monument to His Tremendously Huge Ego. TonyBoy threw 3 picks. I don't think he cried, but it was so hot and everyone was sweating so much, it's hard to be sure. Which shows that the Cowboys are definitely beatable. Are the Giants? I think so. Time will tell.

Watching Colts/Dolphins right now. Gruden needs to calm the F down. Stop shouting, man. I'm right here. Is he better than Tony K? Not sure. What do you say, football fans: who would you add to the solid Tirico/Jaws combo? In the meantime, wondering where Hank Baskett went? Colts. I wonder if he'll play tonight. Also? We're about 10 seconds into the game and BOTH teams have scored. Dear D: THE GAME STARTED. CATCH UP. That is all.

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2009 Week 1 Recap

Eagles at Panthers, Sunday, September 13, 2009

In attendance: Shoegal, ExNavy Cheesehead, Chef Spouse

Menu: small bowl of Chef Spouse's amazing guac (couldn't find decent avocados), Yuengling, crudities, yummy hoagies from Taylor

Stud of the Week: I really could've picked anyone on the D, but I had to go with my man Sheldon Brown, who picked off Jake Delhomme twice. Not that that seems to have been all that tough a job yesterday, but still.

First of all, I was SO wrong. Both our D and our O were ready to rock. Although on that first Panthers drive, I was heard to remark: "Did everyone forget how to tackle after Jim Johnson died?" I was also heard to remark: "If they can just rattle Jake Delhomme, I guarantee he'll start throwing picks." Yes, I may be psychic. Which, if true, is good news for the Lions.

Let's deal with the good before we get to the bad (and hear why I'm not panicking...yet.)

Our D was dominant. DOMINANT. They dismantled the Panthers. Seriously - I think Jake Delhomme's left arm may have landed in my back yard. Dick Stockton was talking about how JJ must be smiling down from heaven. Sean McDermott did him proud - he's clearly been paying attention for the last 10 years. Best moment? The crap time at the end of the game when the Panthers decided to go for the TD on 4th & goal, and our first team goal line D ran out there all "NOT. GONNA. HAPPEN." And it didn't.

Our O looked really great too. BWest's offseason training was a little unconventional, consisting entirely of surgery, but it looks like it worked. He was cutting like the old days. Also, now that we have so many options on O, they can't just send everyone after Westy. And the new guys - Maclin and McCoy - both got playing time and both stepped up. And Celek made Chris Cooley look like The Prophet of Football. Leonard Weaver got a carry. And did you see Peanut's speed? It's a party and everyone's invited.

Did I mention all of our offensive options? Last year, Big 5 threw to something like 10 receivers for over 200 yards each, which was an NFL record. This year, he could top himself. Assuming we get him back.

So now we're on to the bad. As everyone knows by now, McNabb broke a rib. It was a late hit - big time - that was not called, but really, does it even matter? How much do you want to bet AR was thinking, "Why me, God?" Many commentators have been calling this both the most talented group of players the Eagles have EVER assembled and favorites to go the Super Bowl. That would depend on us having our 5 time Pro Bowl QB able to play.

But there is an up side (I think). When he went down, Stockton was talking about knees. I was FREAKING out. Knee injuries, in my experience, are not good. Ribs we can deal with. QBs can play with injured ribs (see Roethlisberger, Ben). Also? Vick is available for the Chiefs. Also? We have an early bye. Also? My boy Jeff Garcia's back! Kolb was, um, let's call it not that impressive once he took over yesterday. But I think we can come out of the first 3 games 2-1 (we'll lose to the Saints - unless our D wins it for us, which is not impossible, but is unlikely - and beat the Chiefs regardless of who's under center), rest McNabb until after the bye and be good to go. I hope.

Around the rest of the NFL...

Steelers over Titans. What a way to kick off the 2009 season! Defensive battle that goes to OT. It was a costly victory for the Steelers, though, as Troy Polamalu is out for 3-6 weeks. And they looked like a different team without him. However, they don't face the Ravens until after he's back even in the worst case scenario, so hopefully it won't kill them.

Falcons over Dolphins. A lot of people say that the NFC East has resumed its rightful place as the toughest division in football. NFC South is quietly making inroads on that title.

Broncos over Bengals. Well, yeah, although that was one wacky ending. Dawk and Buck had good games, but if it requires an Act of God to get you past the Bengals, you are in for a LOOOOONG season, my friends.

Vikings over Browns. Um, yeah. Quarterback, schmarterback. Anyone heard of a guy named Adrian Peterson?

Jets over Texans. Ok, either Mark Sanchez is the second coming of Dan Marino or I might've been wrong about the Texans. Beginner's luck?

Colts over Jaguars. Although it was a lot closer than I thought it would be. Peyton's not looking so magical without Dungy and a cadre of amazing receivers.

Saints over Lions. And Drew Brees threw for the most TDs in one game in about 40 years. We could be in trouble next week. Also, see above RE: the NFC South. Also, Matt Stafford may not be the QB of destiny.

Cowboys over Bucs. Well, the NFC South's hot other than the Bucs. Who could've predicted that Tonyboy would do better without TO, other than everyone who's paid any attention to Captain ME!'s career at all? Also, it's September. Just wait and see what happens in December.

Ravens over Chiefs. That part's not surprising. What was surprising was the high score in the game - 38 to 24? What the hell? What was up with the Ravens vaunted defense?

49ers over Cardinals. Did I mention recently how bad the NFC West is? Oy.

Giants over Skins. If you didn't watch the game, the score doesn't indicate how TOTALLY one-sided it was. The Skins looked awful. Jason Campbell couldn't get it together, the D (which has been their strong suit in the last few years) looked anemic, the team was totally undisciplined, and Zorn's playcalling was just bizarre. Clearly, the man knows his job is on the line, but clearly, that's already driving him to crazy choices. This could be a long season for Redskins fans.

Seahawks over Rams. Good luck, Spags, you have your work cut out for you. If you can turn this team around, you deserve the Nobel prize for football.

Packers over Bears. Jay Cutler looked as bad as Jake Delhomme, and Brian Urlacher's out for the season (just reported on MNF as I type this). Things are not looking good in Chi-town.

Right now, the Bills are up and Rocks Brady looks pretty unsettled. Not so easy to recover from a major injury, is it there, Rocks? TO's been a non-factor so far, but the Bills are looking like they might bring the upset.

No need to wait for the recap of Chargers/Raiders, because we ALL now how that's going to turn out.

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Pre-season a-go-go

Man, I leave you kids alone for one minute and look what happens!

Brett Favre's a Viking.

Westy's injured (OK, that's not so surprising).

Jeremy Maclin finally signs, but probably so late that he'll waste a good chunk of his rookie year. Hope that extra coin was worth it, genius.

Plax's attorney finally convinces him to plead guilty and take his two years rather than gambling on, what? 5-10?

Ben Roethlisberger may have sexually assaulted a woman.

Every freakin' Eagle is injured. Well, OK, that's not STRICTLY true, but it sure seems that way watching the Keystone Kops joint that is Eagles/Colts. Oh jeez, AJ, do something. (Although given how little Big Red cares about pre-season games, I suspect winning them might actually b bad luck.)

Ocho Cinco's kicking extra points.

Donte Stallworth kills a guy and gets 30 days. Wait. What? He KILLED a guy, for chrissakes.

And that of course brings me to:

MICHAEL VICK

Raise your hand if you saw that one coming.

Chef Spouse and I heard the news during last week's Cardinals/Steelers pre-season opening game (also his birthday). We were both like "WTF? WTF!!!" Had to re-wind the TiVo. Like, 5 times. For about the first 12 hours, nothing but shock.

So I'm in the airport on my way to Toronto for a business trip the next day, and I call Life-Long Eagles Fan Mom during my layover to, OF COURSE, talk about the Vick signing.

My point? You saw it below - he served his time, he's out, the man needs to make a living, he should be allowed to play again.

LLEF Mom's point? Tony Dungy's vouching for him. That's saying something.

And both McNabb and Reid wanted him.

Hell, the Humane Society's even come around.

Lots of hue & cry about people giving up season tickets. You know what? Do it. I might stand a chance of scoring some in my lifetime.

So now that we have him, what do we plan to do with him? Personally, I'm guessing there's little plan to play him at QB unless McNabb goes down (knock wood) and Kolb's performance in the second half of the Ravens game last year turns out not to have been a fluke. I'm thinking they're planning Westbrook v. 2 - hybrid running back/receiver/decoy/flea-flicker target/wildcat offense.

So Eagles fans, what do you think? Good move? Bad move? Andy had a few too many cosmos one night and did something a little crazy?

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