2013 Week 2 Picks

This week, the Eagles host the Chargers in their home opener.

I had this one circled on my calendar (well, figuratively speaking anyway - my calendar's electronic) as a W even before the season started.

Yes the Chargers hung with the Texans, at least for three quarters, but I didn't see anything that, to me, indicates that they'll be able to overcome their historic problems coming east and playing in the early game, particularly not against the Eagles better-than-expected defense and lightening fast offense. Shoot out? Bring it.

Eagles.

In the rest of the matchups:

Jets at Patriots: I swear I had this one picked before the Pats actually won it (have I mentioned lately how much I hate Thursday night football?). But after their first two outings this season, I have to point out that they're lucky they play in the weakest division in the NFL, because they look only slightly better than their dreadful divisional rivals. It was so bad, I clicked on the "Jets/Patriots Highlights" link on the NFL website and got a 404 error. (Nerd joke. I'll be here all week. Try the veal.) And Tom Brady needs to stop acting like a two-year-old who was just asked to share his favorite toy.

Rams at Falcons: The Rams may be better than I was expecting this year. The Falcons are every bit as good as I was expecting, and they're at home. Falcons.

Cowboys at Chiefs: The Cowboys may be the better team (although after last week's slop-fest against the Giants, who can tell?), but Andy Reid has had their number for years. I'm going with my heart on this one and picking the Chiefs.

Dolphins at Colts: Given how much trouble the Colts had handling the Raiders last week, I'm strongly tempted to go with the upset pick here...Aw, what the hell. Dolphins.

Titans at Texans: Texans.

Redskins at Packers: Packers. Both teams are coming off disappointing losses in week one, and the playoff chances of teams that start 0-2 are not good. I think RGIII is going to have a hard time avoiding Clay Matthews, and I think ARodg is going to light up the Skins secondary.

Browns at Ravens: Ravens. They got spanked by the Broncos last week, and they may have lost too much to win the division again (which would be problematic for my pre-season picks), but they haven't lost THAT much.

Panthers at Bills: Panthers. The Panthers are looking better this year (freshman Cam, not sophomore Cam, and a pretty decent D, at least so far), and the Bills are looking like, well, the Bills.

Vikings at Bears: Bears. I'm not sold on their defense without Brian Urlacher (spirits, not skills), and I've never been sold on Jay Cutler, but I'm really not sold on the Adrian Petersons. (What? He's basically their entire team at this point.)

Saints at Buccaneers: Saints. No way the Bucs can score enough points to keep up.

Lions at Cardinals: This is a tough one. The Lions looked pretty mortal last week, and the Cards looked surprisingly good against the Rams. But I just can't go against the Megatron/Reggie Bush combo pack.

Jaguars at Raiders: Worst Game of the Week. Jaguars.

Broncos at Giants: And Round 3 in the Manning Bowl goes to Peyton. Broncos.

49ers at Seahawks: Best Game of the Week. Also, even though the 49ers looked stronger last week than the Seahawks, as I was discussing with one of my friends at lunch today, CenturyLink Field is one of the few places that provide a consistent and meaningful homefield advantage. Also, I picked them to win the division this year. Seahawks.

Steelers at Bengals: After last week's embarrassing loss to the Titans, the big question on the NFL Network this week has been: are the Steelers in trouble? Yes, yes, they are. Bengals.

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2009 Divisional Weekend Preview

It's hard to be as excited about the games now that we're out of it. On the other hand, I'll experience far fewer yelling-induced headaches this weekend. So that's good. Anyway, on to the picks....

Ravens/Colts - I think the Ravens left it all on field last week. And it was totally worth it. But the Peytonator takes no prisoners. Well, until the Colts play the Chargers. But that's not happening this week, so, much as I wish it was otherwise, I think the Colts are going to win this one.

Jets/Chargers - Speaking of the Chargers, it's been nice seeing you, Jets. Hope you enjoyed that playoff win last week, because your season is now O-V-E-R. Shame, because Rex Ryan's one entertaining mo-fo. Norv makes funnier faces, but Rex gives better press conference than anyone since Dennis Green. Anyway, Chargers.

Cowboys/Vikings - It PAINS me to be rooting for Brett Favre. I'll just concentrate on Adrian Peterson and Jared Allen. Who will hopefully make Tony Romo cry. I'm worried that the damn Cowboys are going to win ANOTHER playoff game, but I'm hoping the Vikings can accomplish what we couldn't last week and END THIS TRAVESTY. C'mon Vikings! I'm wearing every purple thing I own on Sunday for you!

Cardinals/Saints - Remember how I said in the Wildcard Weekend recap that I think the Saints are stick-a-fork-in-them done? And how I'm rooting for them anyway? GEAUX SAINTS!

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2009 Week 10 Recap

Eagles at Chargers, Sunday, November 15, 2009

In attendance: Chef Spouse, Shoegal, Fellow Eagles Maniac, Limin' ABD, and two nOObs - The Illustrated Geek and Prototypical Eagles Fan.

Menu: roast chicken, mashed potatoes, French green beans, glazed carrots. The oven conked out about 1 hour into the chicken, so we had to finish it on the grill, but it all worked out fine. Go, Chef Spouse! Prototypical Eagles Fan brought prosecco and a yummy chocolate tart, and Fellow Eagles Maniac brought some wine.

Stud: CLEARLY Jason Avant, who had a career day with 8 catches for 156 yards. Including the BEAUTIFUL catch in the photo to the right.

OK, I did call us to lose the game. But why do the Eagles have to torture me with ALMOST COMEBACKS? Do or do not - there is no try.

We did see more of why DMac has the best TD/INT ratio in NFL history. He had several almost picks various Chargers couldn't hang on to. Speaking of Chargers receptions, their receivers made plays. Ours, with the exception of Avant, didn't. In his 11th season, it probably ain't gonna happen, but maybe McNabb could take a little of the heat off? Just a thought.

Speaking of long careers, the smart money says that, after two concussions in 4 weeks and continuing problems with his ankle, Westy is done - not just this season, and not just as an Eagle. He's in his 8th season, he's a running back, he's been one of the keys to our offense since 2003, and he's just not that big. It's been a GREAT ride, man, and Philly will always be grateful.

At one point during the game, I was like, "Why is Macho Harris returning kicks?" Oh, that's right - season-ending neck injury for Ellis Hobbs. "Where is Joselio Hanson?" BS 4 game suspension. "Where's Jason Peters?" Oh - that ankle injury he sustained against the Cowboys was more serious than Big Red let on.

Speaking of Jason Peters, did you notice that we couldn't punch it in from the 1? That's on the O-line.

Also, why can't Asante Samuel tackle? Shouldn't they be able to hire a guy to show him how? Like maybe Curtis Lofton? And did you notice that he seems afraid of contact? Shades of Todd Pinkston?

Actually, there were few big plays from D all day, especially in the last 5 minutes. It was critical to stop the Chargers in a place where we'd get good offensive field position. Instead, the Chargers waltzed on down the field, scored another 3 (just to be on the safe side) and left our offense with about 30 seconds. You know when we win games? When the D comes up big with picks, fumbles, some points. You know when we lose games? When the D is quiet. Like the last two weeks. 31 points? Really?

And why didn't we run the ball at all? Oh right - those O-line problems. So of course Big 5 had a huge day - we had no other options than throw-throw-throw. 55 attempts and 450 yards? That is not good.

And the FREAKIN' PENALTIES! Apparently we're the 5th most penalized team in football. Now, we do have a lot of young guys, so some penalties are to be expected, but 5th most? That's just a lack of discipline. Not Raiders level lack of discipline. Not Rams level lack of discipline. No Chiefs level lack of discipline. But not good.

And what's Vick doing, other than standing around holding a clip board? I have a new theory - we plan to trade him for draft picks to some crap team that desperately needs a QB (see above RE: Raiders, Rams, Chiefs). Which is actually a really smart strategy, come to think of it.

But did we stick close to a 50/50 run/pass game? No. Did our D force turnovers? No. And we lost the game. Told you so.

Around the rest of the NFL...

49rs over Bears. Did I mention I called this? Did I mention that I REALLY want us to beat the Bears in prime time next Sunday? Did I mention that we don't do well in Chicago? Sigh.

Panthers over Falcons. Huh. Maybe Jake Delhomme *isn't* done after all.

Dolphins over Bucs. It looked like the Bucs were going to pick up another win, particularly after Ronnie Brown went out. Unfortunately, it was not to be. Speaking of Ronnie Brown and the wildcat...Dear NFL Coaches. Look around. Do you see Ronnie Brown in your locker room? No? Then drop the freakin' wildcat. Not gonna work for you.

Vikings over Lions. Well, sure.

Jags over Jets. Wow. How fast did the Jets drop from "sexy pick" to "sad pick"? Fast. Sometimes there's new coach and rookie QB magic (Harbaugh/Flacco, Smith/Ryan), and sometimes there's just not.

Bengals over Steelers. Told you. Limin' ABD reminded me of the old saw "2/3 of the world is covered by water - the rest is covered by Troy Polamalu." Not anymore. He tweaked that same knee again in the first series, went out, and the Steelers are in trouble. The only bummer? No Ochocinco TDs, which means no wacky celebration. Damn. Also, anyone for a Bengals/Saints Super Bowl? Speaking of the Saints...

Saints over Rams. The only shocker is that the Rams were even in it in the first place. Go, Spags!

Titans over Bills. 41-17. That's more the score I was expecting to see from Saints/Rams. Speaking of teams that need a new QB, wonder when Dick Jauron will be calling Big Red about Michael Vick?

Redskins over Broncos. This is the upset of the week. Big time. Great. Just as we start - uncharacteristically - struggling in the second half of the season, the Redskins start doing well. Or is this just the annual Broncos collapse, Wolverine be damned? What do you think, football fans?

Chiefs over Raiders. Whatever.

Cards over Seahawks. The Seahawks made it a game - for a while - but in the end, the Cardinals were just too good. Did I mention that Fitz is my secret NFC receiver boyfriend? Are you surprised? Have you SEEN his ass?

Packers over Cowboys. Yeah, BOYEE! Shoegal reminded me that I haven't called Roethlisberger "Groceries" in a while, and he's definitely been sacked plenty this season. You know who else has been sacked a lot? Aaron Rodgers. It's good to be young - he had enough left in the tank to beat the Cowboys even though he's spent more time on his ass on the ground than he has on his ass on the bench this season. Although, honestly, it was the Packers D who won that game. Go, Charles Woodson!

Colts over Pats. The game hype was all "rivalry of the decade." I disagree - I think the rivalry of the decade is the Eagles versus the entire NFC. How many different teams have we faced in the NFC Championship Game? Anyway, who would've figured Bill Belichick to have an Andy Reid-level mental meltdown in the last two minutes? Must've missed his latest payment of babies/kittens to Satan.

Is it worth holding the recap to talk about Ravens/Browns? Um, no. There is NO way the Ravens lose this game.

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2009 Week 10 Picks

This is a tough one to call. We really need it. The Chargers really need it. We're both at 5-3, running second in our respective divisions and definitely in the playoff hunt (if one can even talk about that as early as week 10). Total offense? We're ranked 15 - they're 17. Total defense? We're 10 - they're 11. DMac? #9 ranked QB. Know who's #10? Philip Rivers. They do have a pretty significant advantage when it comes to offensive line - they're 17, we're 23, but we're both in the bottom half of teams, and our QB is significantly more mobile than theirs. Oddly enough, they hold the advantage on passing, and we do on rushing. (Good job, Andy and Marty!) We hold a significant advantage in take-aways - #2 versus #12. Their pass defense is #5, we're #12. Our rushing defense is #10 (really? check us out!), while theirs is #26 (ouch!).

So what does that all mean? Diddly. We don't have a good record going west (see below re: Raiders game). If Marty & Andy can stick close to a 50/50 rush/pass balance AND our D can pick off Philip Rivers (and he has thrown 6 INTs so far this season), maybe. But I think the Chargers are going to win this one.

Bears/49ers. I know the game's already taken place, but I did call the 49ers - I swear! The cab dropped me off from the airport just before kickoff, and one of the first topics of conversation was the game. Chef Spouse was all, "This should be an easy one for the Bears," and I was like, "No way! 49ers have this one!" And I was right! Jay Cutler may not be the problem (jury's still out), but with 5 picks last night alone, 2 in the red zone, he's definitely not the solution.

Falcons/Panthers. The Panthers have been looking less pathetic in the past few weeks than they did in the first month of the season. But they're not that much improved. They still have Jake Delhomme under center. Falcons.

Bucs/Dolphins. Dolphins. Hope the Bucs enjoyed that 1 game winning streak.

Lions/Vikings. Is there a mercy rule in the NFL, where if one team is ahead by, like , 50 points, they call the game? Because if there isn't, this game will demonstrate why there should be. Vikings.

Jets/Jaguars. Jets. Like I said, poor Maurice Jones-Drew should really get himself to a good team before his career is over. Most running backs make it about 5 years before they really start to decline (see Westbrook, Brian). He's in his 4th season. Just sayin'.

Bengals/Steelers. I am SOOOO looking forward to this game! I know the Steelers are my AFC team, but just last week I jumped on the Bengals bandwagon. I guess that means I'm calling Bengals.

Saints/Rams. You know what I said about the mercy rule above? If the Vikings whupping of the Lions doesn't argue convincingly for it, this game will. Ouch. Saints. Who will probably score 1,265,493 points. Before halftime.

Bills/Titans. The Titans finally seem like they might be getting their groove on. Also, it's hard to pick TO's team anytime except when they play the Pats. Titans.

Broncos/Redskins. Oh God. Yet another game that will require the invocation of the Snarkin' the NFL Mercy Rule. Broncos. Do you think Jim Zorn will quit in disgust right on the field before the end of the game?

Chiefs/Raiders. Worst Game of the Week. I'm picking the Raiders, but honestly, who cares?

Seahawks/Cardinals. Divisional games are always wacky, the teams know each other really well, as do the coaches, any given team any given Sunday, blah blah blah, yackity smackity. Cardinals.

Cowboys/Packers. Oh, I so wish the Packers would take this one, but I really don't think they're going to. Cowboys (you have NO idea how much it pains me to type that).

Patriots/Colts. Go Colts! Go to 9-0! Beat the Pats! I actually think they will. Peyton Manning is on f-ing fire this season. Colts.

Ravens/Browns. I know I already said this, but why the hell are the Browns on Monday Night Football? Seriously. Ravens. Also, don't bother to watch this game. It's going to SUCK.

On bye: Texans, Giants (who, on a 4 game losing streak, have been grounded and had their X-boxes confiscated)

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Sunday Schedule: November 15, 2009

I know, I know - I'm running a little late here. Business trip to Chicago got me all off schedule. It's the battle of two good teams that are really, really hard to predict. What I know is that we really, really need this win. Unfortunately, so do the Chargers.

TNF: Bears/49ers. Also, if you're just checking in now, you missed it.
1 pm: Redskins, schmedskins. We're watching Bengals/Steelers, yo!
4 pm: Eagles/Chargers
8 pm: Colts/Pats. Also, possibly a preview of the AFC Championship game. Which is pretty much potentially true every year with these two.
MNF: Ravens/Browns. Whose bonehead idea was it to put the Browns on Monday Night Football?

Menu: Chef Spouse says roast chicken, mashed potatoes, and a vegetable or two yet to be identified. Bring something that will go with!

Finally, in other AFC North news, the NFL has fined Ocho Cinco $20K for his $1 bribe joke (and thanks to Shoegal for the heads up). "No ma'am, we at the NFL have no sense of humor that we are aware of."

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