Super Bowl 47 Picks

AKA the HarBowl, and yes, 47, because I'm just not playing with Roman numerals any more.

The Ravens and 49ers face off this Sunday. Both teams have good stories. It's Ray Lewis's *last* time at the rodeo. Colin Kaepernick came in mid-season and set the NFC West on fire. Plus, Chef Spouse's boy David Akers. The 49ers have never lost a Super Bowl, and they've played in - and won - five, behind only the Steelers. (The Ravens have also never lost a Super Bowl, but they've only played in one so far.) Also, Harbaugh v. Harbaugh, which is like Spy v. Spy, only in color and with fewer explosives (THAT WE KNOW OF).

As usual, what I'm mostly rooting for is a good game.

Well, unless the Eagles are playing, in which case it's cool if they win 59 to 3.

Or if the Patriots are playing, in which case I hope they all come down with norovirus and have to forfeit.

Or if they Cowboys are playing...wait, what am I saying? That's not likely to happen any time soon. Heh.

I've got the 49ers. I'm not putting money on it or anything, but I think the teams are pretty evenly matched on defense, and I don't think the Ravens will be able to keep up with the 49ers scoring juggernaut.

I just hope it doesn't come down to kicking, because since his mid-season double hernia surgery, David Akers has not been brilliant.

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2012 Conference Championship Picks

"So at last we meet again for the first time for the last time..."

Both of our #2 teams this week came [this] close to the Super Bowl last year. And I desperately wanted a 49ers-Ravens, Harbaugh v. Harbaugh Super Bowl last year. This year, I may get my wish.

49ers at Falcons: As the Seahawks proved last week, it is damn hard to go into Atlanta and win. Still, I can't see Matty Ice and the Dirty Birds overcoming the #3 defense the week after they put down the #4 defense, even if they did get to sleep in their own beds all week. Also, the Hawks put up some impressive numbers towards the end of the regular season, but not Colin Kaepernick numbers. Gotta go 49ers. Don't let me down, guys.

Ravens at Patriots: Chef Spouse and I were talking about the games this afternoon, and I said, "If it's another stupid Patriots Super Bowl, I'm not watching!" He responded, "Yes, you will." And I said, "No! I'll watch the commercials, but F those guys."

I really do feel that way.

Chef Spouse, in the meantime, has a man crush on Ray Lewis.

By rights, the Pats should win this game. Then again, the Pats took the Ravens out LAST year, too.

"Never pick against the Pats at home...."

Except this week. I'm going Ravens.

Side note: welcome to Philly, Chip Kelly. You weren't my top choice - I wanted Lovie Smith - but you were lots of other people's top choice including, apparently, Jeff Lurie (which is all that matters). The NFL ain't college, and Philadelphia ain't Oregon. Hope you're ready. 

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2012 Divisional Weekend Picks

The AFC games are obvious this weekend. Seeing as I'm about 99.87% sure the Broncos are headed to the Super Bowl (kick-ass defense and a reinvigorated Peyton Manning, anyone?), I think *this* will be the last game of Ray Lewis's career. And while the Texans are solid on D, too, I don't think they're solid enough to overcome the Tom Brady-bot at home, particularly since Matt Schaub is shaky in playoff games, and they're playing in Foxborough. I'm going Broncos and Pats, as, I suspect, is the entire rest of the NFL game picking world.

The NFC, on the other hand, seems not nearly as clear. The Seahawks and the Redskins, on the offensive side of the ball at least, are similar teams, and I thought for sure that homefield and the Skins strong run defense would carry the day last weekend. I did not foresee that the field at FedEx would look like a hog waller, that RGIII would re-injure his knee in the first quarter, and that Shanny would then inexplicably not take him out of the game, certainly costing the Skins the game and perhaps costing RGIII the 2013 season. This has been an interesting week to be a follower of the NFL here in DC.

Anyway, returning to this weekend's games, as Chef Spouse is fond of pointing out, the Falcons are the #1 ranked team in the NFC and no one gives them any respect. Including me, apparently, because I'm picking the Seahawks.

Turning to the 49ers/Packers matchup, the big story has been the first meeting of the 2005 draft class quarterbacks. Except, of course, that Colin Kaepernick is starting for the 49ers. And, Aa-Rodg magic aside, I think he and their stout defense are going to carry the 49ers to the NFC Championship game.

Of course, if I'm right about all this, we're looking at a VERY interesting conference championship weekend, with Peyton versus Tom, part I don't even know how many, and, in the NFC, division rivals meeting for a shot at the Super Bowl.

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2012 Wildcard Weekend Picks

Bengals at Texans: The Texans finished the 2012 season slumping, going 2-3 in their last 5 games, and losing the #1 seed. The Bengals finished hot, going 4-1 and playing themselves into the playoffs. The Texans won't be able to get much done through the air against the Bengals, but Arian Foster should be able to get it done on the ground. That and homefield should get the Texans past the Bengals, but I suspect their ride will end immediately after.

Viking at Packers: Adrian Peterson is a beast, no doubt, but I do not see the Vikings beating the Pack two weeks in a row, particularly not at Lambeau in January, and even if Greg Jennings would rather play inside. Packers.

Colts at Ravens: This week, Ray Lewis has announced that he's retiring after this season. He also announced that he'll be playing in the playoffs. And Joe Flacco hasn't exactly been lighting it up recently. And Andrew Luck has. But the Ravens still have Ray Rice, and the Colts have a rookie QB and a defense that is putrid against the run. And there is NO WAY the team lets a wildcard loss be Ray-Ray's last game. NO WAY. Ravens.

Seahawks at Redskins: This is a VERY INTERESTING matchup. Two dynamic rookie QBs. Two powerful running games. Two teams no one expected to see in the post-season this year. The Redskins are on fire going into the playoffs, winning their last seven games. The Seahawks are on fire going into the playoffs, winning their last five, including hanging 42 points on the #3 defense in the league. The NFL honchos chose wisely in putting this game on Sunday at 4:30. It should be excellent. The Seahawks should definitely go to the air against the Skins, who are almost dead last against the pass. But both of these teams have made their bones with their ground games. And if it's true that offense wins games and defense wins championships, I'm going to have to go with the Skins, who are better against the run than the Hawks.

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Walk of Shame

Before I get to talking about the playoffs, here's how I ended up this season:

Regular season picks:

166-89-1

That's 65% (well, 64.8% to be precise).

My two best weeks were week 17, when I went 14-2 on my picks, and week 4, when I went 13-2 and correctly picked the final score of the Eagles/Giants matchup (19-17 Eagles win, in case the stench of the rest of the season has wiped it from your memory).

Most weeks I hovered in the 9-10-11 picks correct range, but a few bad weeks (week 3, 5-11, and week 6 4-10) really killed me.

On the up side, I did better than almost all the ESPN analysts. Go me!

Things are not so rosy when it comes to my pre-season playoff picks.

In the AFC, I had the Patriots, Ravens, and Texans to win their respective divisions.

I did NOT see the Broncos coming. I had the sad-sack newly head coach-less Chargers.

For wildcard, I had the Steelers (not an unreasonable pick) and the Raiders (crackalacka pick). Did not have the Bengals. Did not believe Andrew Luck and ChuckStrong could turn the Colts around this quickly. You know the Texans are not happy about that.

So I'm a straight .500 on the AFC.

In the NFC, I had the Falcons and 49ers to win their respective divisions.

I wish I knew how to quit the Lions. Sigh.

I don't think anyone had the Skins for NFC East, nor did most of us think the Eagles were going to implode quite so spectacularly.

I did have the Packers in as a playoff team, definitely at least wildcard, possible division winner.

I also had the G-men. And again, I don't think anyone saw the Seahawks coming.

In the NFC, I'm only at .333 unless we want to grade generously and give me the Packers, in which case, I also got to .500 there.

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End of an Era

Eagles at Giants, Sunday, December 30, 2012 

This Sunday featured many exciting games with playoff implications. Sadly, the Eagles game was not one of them. The 42-7 rout was a microcosm of everything that's been wrong with the Eagles in 2012. And that's all I have to say about that.

Well, other than to point out to the gloating Giants fans: I realize that the last time you saw the Eagles in 2012 was when we beat you on Sunday Night Football at the end of September, so you might not know. But hanging 42 points on this team is nothing to be proud of. Pissing on Andy Reid's grave - which is what you're doing now - just shows a complete lack of class. And 9-7 and 4-12 will look pretty much the same next week, when both teams are watching the playoffs from their man caves. Only the Eagles scored a higher draft pick.

Now that I have that off my chest, I want to talk about Andy Reid a little.

I am, as my bio states, a life-long Eagles fan. My earliest football memory was when Dick Vermeil came to Philly. I was 5. I have fond memories of Sunday afternoons in front of the TV, hoagies in hand, cheering for Jaws, Wilbert Montgomery, Harold Carmichael, Mike Quick, Herm Edwards,
the Minister of Defense Reggie White, and later on, under Buddy Ryan, Randall Scramble, Cris Cater, Andre Waters, Jerome Brown, and Seth Joyner. By that point, I was in college and used to go over to the only all-male dorm on campus every weekend to watch the games, which were on in the lounges.

And then I graduated and moved out of state for grad school. This was way before the Sunday Ticket era, and I went to grad school at a college football mad university in a town with no pro team nearby. On the upside, I missed part of the Rich Kotite and pretty much all of the Ray Rhodes years. On the downside, I lost touch with my beloved Eagles.

And then I moved to the home city of a divisional rival. And Jeff Lurie hired this unknown quarterbacks coach from Green Bay named Andy Reid, who proceeded to draft this guy out of Syracuse (not exactly a football powerhouse) Donovan McNabb.

And then: Duce Staley. Brian Westbrook. Brian Dawkins. Hugh Douglas. John Runyan, David Akers. Jeremiah Trotter. Troy Vincent. Darwin Walker. Tre Thomas. Lito Sheppard. Sheldon Brown. 

And then the rest followed: five playoff appearances in a row. Four NFC championship games in a row. The Super Bowl loss to those big cheaters, the Patriots. The 2005 disaster year. The miraculous run into the playoffs under Jeff Garcia in 2006, after McNabb went down with the sports hernia. Then McNabb down again in 2007 with the ACL tear. Then the equally miraculous run back to the NFC Championship game in 2008. Playoffs again in 2009 and 2010.

Even though - and it's a big "but" - the Eagles never brought home the Lombardi trophy, Andy Reid brought this team and this city the most sustained period of success we've ever seen. He changed expectations for all of us. He gave me back my fandom.

I hope he takes a little time off. After the past two years, which have been extremely difficult both personally and professionally, I think he needs it. After that? I wish him nothing but success wherever he goes. Godspeed, Big Red. Unless you goes to Dallas, in which case all bets are off.

I will pick the playoff matchups and recap the playoff games, even though the Eagles are out, so I'll share my thoughts about the 12 teams when I pick Wildcard Weekend. I *will* say this now: at the beginning of the season, I was thinking 49ers/Texans Super Bowl. Not anymore.

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2012 Week 17 Picks

This is it - the final week of the 2012 regular season.

I have plenty of complaints with the NFL (I hate Thursday night football, I wish Joe Buck and Troy Aikman would go do something - anything - else, some of the rules make no goddamn sense, and they often don't seem to be applied equally, at least not if your name is Manning or Brady), but one thing I LOVE is that the final Sunday is *just* Sunday, it's all divisional and lots of playoff scenarios are on the line, at least for the NFC. (Things are pretty settled in the AFC.)

Meanwhile, the Eagles limp to the finish (both figuratively and literally), facing the Giants in New Jersey. And the Giants don't really have much to play for, either. Don't get me wrong - they aren't mathematically eliminated, and the G-men are going to win Sunday. But it is highly unlikely that the Cowboys, Bears, and Vikings will ALL lose.

Also, I'm expecting Andy Reid to be let go first thing Monday morning. You definitely did not read that here first - EVERYONE expects Andy Reid to be let go first thing Monday morning.

Moving on:

Buccaneers at Falcons: The Falcons have nothing to play for, and I'm guessing they'll rest their starters as a result, despite recent (Colts) evidence of what a mistake that usually is. I see the Bucs winning this one.

Jets at Bills: Rex Ryan's last game at the Jets head coach? Maybe. The Jets should be able to win this one, but with the QB mess (Sanchez is benched! No, he's the starting QB!), I figure morale is at an all-time low for Gang Green, and the Bills will sneak a win. Not that it really matters.

Ravens at Bengals: I don't think either team can improve their seeding with a win - Bengals will b #6, Ravens will be #4 - and honestly, although I'm sure no one wants to play the Pats right now, facing a divisional rival two weeks in a row is even worse. With both teams likely to rest some starters and not really be that invested in the outcome, I'm going with the Bengals at home.

Bears at Lions: I know I keep picking the Lions and they keep losing. I know the Bears are fighting for a playoff spot. I'm feeling Lions, but...gotta go Bears.

Texans at Colts: The Texans have stumbled a bit of late, but the bye and possibly homefield are on the line. They'll find a way to win, even against a highly motivated Colts team at home. I think.

Panthers at Saints: Nothing to play for but pride, but the Saints don't lose at home.

Browns at Steelers: Same and same.

Jaguars at Titans: Bleh. Also, Titans. Not that ANYONE will be watching this game.

Chief at Broncos: Broncos, definitely, who also still have a shot at both the bye and homefield.

Packers at Vikings: This is going to be a great game, I think. The Pack needs the win for the bye. The Vikings need the win for a wildcard spot, and all they have to do to get it *is* win. Logically, the Pack should win, but I think the Vikes will dig deep and surprise them.

Dolphins at Patriots: Patriots.

Raiders at Chargers: The Chargers will probably win at home, but it won't change the fact that Norv is going to be be fired on Monday, too.

Rams at Seahawks: Should've listened to myself last week and NOT picked against the Seahawks at home. Not making that mistake again. Seahawks.

Cardinals at 49ers: 49ers who, if I'm right about the Pack losing, will snake that bye week right out from under Green Bay.

Redskins at Cowboys: It's for all the NFC East marbles, and the Redskins GOT this one. The Cowboys will choke. Glad Monday's a day off, because this should be a great game that I'm going to stay up to see the end of and will probably be too hyped to sleep after.

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How Eagles Of Them!

Eagles v. Redskins, Sunday, December 23, 2012 

I was in two minds about this game. On the one hand, it's clear this was Andy Reid's last home game, and I was hoping the team could send him on his way with a win. On the other hand, top 5 pick! And on the third hand, if I may borrow one of yours, of the remaining choices to win the division, I'd most like to see it go to the Skins, which means they have to win out.

Looks like your hand is the lucky one.

Well, at least luckier than Nick Foles, who apparently broke his hand in the loss. Guess Vick is coming back for the final game of 2012? Assuming he passed his concussion tests finally? What's Trent Edwards up to? Isn't Jason Avant behind him? Maybe we give #81 a shot next week?

Oy. It's 2005 all over again, only without the "fun" of coming off a Super Bowl loss.

Stud of the week: Jeremy Maclin who, as Bleeding Green Nation points out, is quietly having a decent season. (Also, it was good to see Shady back and feeling spry.) Mac scored one TD, and had Nick Foles put a little more zip on that final pass, would've tied up the game.

Well, not the final-final pass of the game. That would be Foles' intentional grounding muff on 3rd and goal with two seconds left and a chance to tie, leading to a 10 second run off and "the game is over."

How Eagles of them!

It's been like the f-ing Keystone Kops out there most of the season. And was a poetically apt way to finish out the home games for the 2012 season.

As has been the case in so many games this year, the team did some things right, and many more things wrong. They played well enough to stay in it, but not well enough to win. Turnovers killed them, and when it came down to it and they needed to dig deep for the extra effort to tie it up, they screwed up in a genuinely comical fashion.

Yep. Your 2012 Philadelphia Eagles.

They can't even really play spoiler next week - not that their chances of beating the Giants in New Jersey are very good - because, although not technically eliminated, it would take not one, but about 17 miracles for the Giants to make the post-season.

Or, in football parlance: "The NFL has announced that the Giants-Eagles game on December 30 will air at 1 pm."

A final note: not to take anything away from RGIII or Andrew Luck, but Russell Wilson is quietly having an outstanding rookie season in Seattle, too. In the past three games, they've put up 58 points (on the Cardinals), 50 (on the Bills), and 42 (on the 49ers' #2 ranked defense in the league). You know how the Super Bowl is all about getting hot at the right time? The Seahawks are ON FIRE right now.

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2012 Week 15 Picks

This week - tonight, in fact - the Eagles will be hosting the Bengals at the Linc.

On the one hand, the monkey's off their back - they finally won a game.

On the other hand, the Bengals don't have the worst-ranked pass defense.

Also, they are currently holding the #7 playoff spot in the AFC, looking up at slumping division rival the Steelers.

They have every reason to bring it, and I expect them to.

Bengals.

In the rest of the matchups:

Redskins at Browns: The big question in DC this week isn't the fiscal cliff or what's going on in Syria or the upcoming inauguration, or the ever-amusing local corruption. It's, "Will RGIII play Sunday?" The Skins are facing the Browns. Don't know that it will matter. Redskins.

Colts at Texans: Man, the Texans must be reeling from the ass-whupping they took at the hands of the Pats Monday night. And you know Matt Schaub is thinking, "ONE year? I get ONE year where the Colts aren't good? Goddamnit!" But I think they'll pull this one out. Texans.

Jaguars at Dolphins: Dolphins. To quote the Bleacher Report: things Nick Foles is slower than - the Jaguars selling out a home game.

Broncos at Ravens: This may be the best Broncos team we've seen since...Elway? I don't even know. They're good. REALLY good. And the Ravens are sputtering on offense. Broncos.

Vikings at Rams: I can't figure out the NFC North at all this year. The teams win when they should lose and lose when they should win. I've got the Rams at home, but who knows?

Buccaneers at Saints: The Bucs have nearly the worst defense in the league, and THE worst against the pass (see above re: last week against the Eagles), while the Saints have, well, Drew Brees. Last week the Seahawks put up 58 points on the Cardinals. Brees could do that against the Bucs in the first half, unless his arm gets tired. Saints.

Giants at Falcons: Don't pick against the Falcons at home.

Packers at Bears: See above RE: NFC North, and I'm going with the Bears because homefield, but I think this game will be close.

Lions at Cardinals: Lions. Don't think the Cards have an answer for Megatron.

Seahawks at Bills: Seahawks, who are quietly pretty damn good with their rookie QB, Russell Wilson, who's getting very little attention because Luck and RGIII, also Seattle.

Panthers at Chargers: Talk about inconsistent teams! Anything could happen in this game. I mean anything: clown cars, Rip Torn, flash mob, you name it. I think Panthers, but I wouldn't put money on it.

Chiefs at Raiders: Chiefs. Also, who cares?

Steelers at Cowboys: Think the Steelers can keep the wheels on the bus long enough to beat the Cowboys? I'd like to say yes, but I really don't think so. Cowboys.

49ers at Patriots: Possible Super Bowl preview? Nah - AFC's going to be the Broncos, mark my words. The Pats are pretty hard to beat at home, which I should've remembered when picking the Texans last week, but in Kaepernick I trust. 49ers.

Jets at Titans: Bleh. I'll be in NOLA Monday night, which is great - I won't feel bad at all about skipping this one. Also, for what it's worth, Jets.

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They Won. #Shocked.

Eagles at Buccaneers, Sunday, December 9, 2012 

Holy shit. The Eagles actually won a game.

I know, I know, this does not help the team's draft position, and that's pretty much all that's on the line at this point.

But how nice was it to see Big Red and Howard Mudd hugging after the game. And not "bro-hugging" either, but a big old "I'm about to cry" clinch.

Stud of the week: Could it be anyone but Jason Avant? He had an amazing game. No TDs, but 7 catches for 133 yards, including an amazing one-handed circus catch. Just Google it - you'll have no trouble finding it. Shout out to Jeremy Maclin, too, for catching the game winner as time expired.

Good thing the receivers had a big day because, thanks to the Bucs' #1 ranked running defense, Nick Foles was the Birds' top rusher on the day.

Speaking of Foles, I'm still not sure he's The Guy, but I'll bet he gets a shot at the starting spot for 2013 at this point.  He played well, particularly when he needed to bring the Birds back from being down by 11 with 7 minutes left. And for once, burning the timeouts to save the clock worked, as the D, which had been up and down all day, was able to come up with a stop when they needed it, with about 3 minutes to go. And then Foles got sacked right before the 2 minute warning, and nobody panicked. Or gave up.

In the end, it doesn't change anything. The Eagles will finish at the bottom of the NFC East. Andy Reid will be fired in January. Mike Vick will not be an Eagle, and may not even be playing football. Same for King Dunlap. I'm sure someone will pick up Nnamdi Asomugha, but he won't be Philly anymore, either.

But on a day when the Bucs were honoring the team that, according to Chef Spouse's unending bile, stole the Eagles' Super Bowl from them (if I had a dollar for every time he's said "2002 was OUR YEAR!" I'd be a rich woman), it was nice to be able to savor a victory.

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2012 Week 14 Picks

This week, the Eagles travel to Tampa to lose to the Buccaneers.

How do I know they're going to lose?

I just know.

In the rest of the matchups:

Broncos at Raiders: Top 5 offense AND defense? Broncos.

Chargers at Steelers: Steelers. They don't lose at home.

Titans at Colts: Neither defense is anything to write home about, but the Colts offense - and Andrew Luck - are on fire. Colts.

Jets at Jaguars: Ouch. Bad versus worse, bad wins. Jets.

Bears at Vikings: Vikings, in my upset pick. Hey, crazy things happen in divisional games.

Falcons at Panthers: But not that crazy. Falcons.

Rams at Bills: Rams.

Cowboys at Bengals: Bengals. Please, please, please, please.

Ravens at Redskins: I've got the Redskins. Did I mention I'm an RGIII fan?

Chiefs at Browns: Can the Chiefs ride emotions another week? I think yes.

Dolphins at 49ers: 49ers

Saints at Giants: I'd love it if the Saints could pull off the upset, but playing in New York, I don't see it. Giants.

Cardinals at Seahawks: Seahawks.

Lions at Packers: Packers.

Texans at Patriots: Texans.

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Rats Fleeing the Ship?

Eagles at Cowboys, Sunday, December 2, 2012

Only Jim Washburn got fired, so it's more like rats being thrown off a sinking ship. Of course, according to all the reports I'm reading, it was long overdue. Seems like Washburn was a complete asshole. Good riddance, but it's probably two years too late (yes, for those who are bad at math, that means I think he never should have been hired in the first place).

Stud of the week: Nick Foles, who had a good game. Finally. I don't know if he has what it takes to start in the NFL. Guess we'll be seeing his 2013 audition - for the Eagles or some other team - in the next month, particularly since Big Red named him the starting QB today. But he had a solid outing last night, and that's a start.

I also have to give a shout-out to my boy Jason Avant, back in the lineup after 3 weeks out with a bad hamstring, for making some typically excellent catches and even getting some YAC (not usually his strong suit). Alex Henery kicked his 4,537th field goal in a row (really 21, a team record. Damaris Johnson had a punt return TD. I think that might be the first of the 2012 season. We saw something heretofore unknown in the NFL: King Dunlap threw a few good blocks. Riley Cooper made another circus catch TD. Bryce Brown scored two TDs again and had I think 169 yards on the ground.

Actually, the entire offense played decently.
Well, other than when Bryce Brown fumbled and Morris Claiborne ran it back 50 yards for a TD.

Gotta learn how to hold onto the football, son.

And things are at such a sad pass that I didn't even yell at the TV when he did it. It was more like, "Well, I knew disaster was going to hit sooner or later." And sure enough, that was it. The Eagles, down 10 with under 4 minutes to play, never recovered, despite the Johnson return TD. 

Of course, they also scored 33 points, and it wasn't enough.

It's the D that killed us.

Well, that and Bryce Brown's fumble.

There aren't enough negative adjectives in all the languages in all the world (including the dead ones) to express how disgusted I am with the Eagles defense from last night. It's like they aren't even aware that they're playing defense in the NFL out there. I don't know what they do think they're doing, but whatever it is, it doesn't deserve to be on prime time TV. Or even cable access. At 2 am. It was a total, complete breakdown in all facets other than Brandon Graham's 1.5 sacks.

I am starting to come around to the position many of the Eagles bloggers have taken that this team lacks a culture of winning. Whether it's too many free agents who were middling to good players on bad teams, lack of locker room leadership, coaching issues, lack of focus, I don't know. But clearly, these guys don't know what to do to win. Hopefully it's something they can learn under a new regime, or it's probably fire sale time come January.

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2012 Week 13 Picks

And the agony that is the Philadelphia Eagles 2012 season continues. Who will they lose to this week? Only the Cowboys in Dallas.

Now none of us enjoys it when our team loses, but I hate losing to the Cowboys more than I hate ugly shoes and cheap booze. So a lot.

Will that matter a bit?

Nope.

At least it's our annual pre-big association technology conference football party, so I'll have lots of friends and colleagues around to distract me from Teh Suck that will go down starting around 8:21 pm Sunday night.

Even worse?

Losing divisional games is a special kind of hell, and that's exactly what the Eagles face over three of the next five weeks.

I should've known that winning all four pre-season games this year was a sign of impending doom.

In the rest of the matchups:

Saints at Falcons: Grudge match on Thursday Night Football! If you're not a Falcons or Saints fan, you might not realize, but this is a HUGE rivalry. Like Any NFC East Team Who's Not the Cowboys - Cowboys level rivalry. And both teams are hot right now. In other words, if you mostly haven't been bothering to watch Thursday Night Football, this is the week to take the plunge. Also, Falcons. Game should be close, but I gotta go with homefield here.

Jaguars at Bills: Bills. The Jags are Eagles-level bad this year.

Seahawks at Bears: The Bears hold a one game lead in the NFC North. The Seahawks are clinging to a current sixth seed. The Seahakws need the win big-time, but Cutler's back, the Bears are at home, and I just don't see it happening. Bears.

Colts at Lions: They're playing in Detroit, and the Lions have to be pissed after last week's "this time it REALLY IS entirely the fault of the head coach" loss. It's a little nuts, but I'm going with the 4-7 Lions over the 7-4 Colts as my upset pick.

Vikings at Packers: Packers. They don't lose at home in December to a dome team.

Panthers at Chiefs: Ugh. Worst Game of the Week. Other, of course, than Eagles at Cowboys. I've got the Chiefs by a nose because, again, homefield.

Patriots at Dolphins: Dolphins. SIKE! That was a nice win over the Seahawks last week, but come on! Pats.

Cardinals at Jets: Even records. Statistically, the Cards are a better team. But they haven't won since Kevin Kolb went down. Then again, when's the last time Ryan Lindley basically tackled himself and gave up a pick 6? I'm going Cards on the strength of their D and the Jets complete lack of a competent QB.

49ers at Rams: 49ers, and put me down as totally on the Kaepernick bandwagon!

Texans at Titans: Texans.

Buccaneers at Broncos: The Bucs are coming into this game hot, but Peyton Manning's hotter.  Well, at least his arm. Peyton himself is pretty goofy looking. Broncos.

Steelers at Ravens: If Big Ben doesn't play, the Steelers are toast, and dropping to 6-6 won't help their playoff chances any, either. If he does play, I think they take the Ravens. So my conditional pick is the Steelers (since right now, it looks like Ben will play Sunday), but I reserve the right to change my mind.

Browns at Raiders: I've got the Raiders. Both teams, of course, are terrible. But the Raiders are (say it with me, folks) at home.

Bengals at Chargers: I'm going Bengals, who are in the thick of fighting for a playoff spot, while the Chargers, like the Eagles are basically done for the year. In other news, Norv Turner will be one of the other casualties of Black Monday, mark my words.

Giants at Redskins: The Giants should win this one. But I'm an RG3 believer. Redskins. Also, much better way to end week 13 than week 12, NFL honchos.

Oh, and if you haven't been following the hilarious fake NFL Quarterback Facebook Smackdowns, what are you waiting for?

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Futility

Thy name is "2012 Eagles."

Eagles v. Panthers, Monday, November 26, 2012

Stud of the week: Bryce Brown. Yes, he had two fumbles. But he also scored the Birds only two TDs and broke the rookie rushing record. Hey, the pickin's are pretty slim these days, y'all.

I was out last night, as was Chef Spouse. So, with neither of us knowing exactly when we'd get home, we set the game to record. I got in the door just as the game was starting.

You know how, when it's two teams that aren't very good and aren't even in your conference, like maybe Jaguars versus Chiefs, but you think "Yeah, but it's Monday Night Football. Last game of the week. What else am I going to watch?"

That.

Was I the only one who noticed that the Linc seemed, best case, 2/3 full? Was I the only one who noticed that the boos were already starting when the first drive resulted in a (say it with me) FIELD GOAL. AGAIN. Was I the only one who noticed that Mike Tirico and Chuckie were already talking about how great RG3 is by the second quarter? That type of meandering is usually reserved for the fourth quarter of blowouts, people!

Even worse? By late in the third quarter, when the Eagles were still up, 22-21, I said to Chef Spouse (who was home by that point but had no interest in trying to watch the game from the beginning, which is telling), "I have a big day tomorrow and I'm tired. I'm sure they'll find a way to blow it. I'm going to bed."

Which is also telling.

And, true to form, they blew it.

To back up, a friend of a friend offered to sell us his tickets to the game a few weeks ago. His excuse? Can't get out of DC (where I, also, am located) for a Monday night game. And they were good seats - club level. And he wanted face value for them ($265 a ticket).

Excuse me while I bust a gut laughing.

Thing is, other than the myriad mistakes from both teams, it was actually a relatively exciting game to watch. The lead changed five times. Bryce Brown broke the Eagles rookie single game rushing record. Mike Patterson recorded the Eagles first sack in what feels like...all season? Nah, it's not quite that bad. But it feels that way.

And now Jason Babin has been released. And in bad news, DeSean Jackson is on IR with broken ribs. And in worse news, King Dunlap still appears to be healthy.

I know I'm a broken record at this point, but it's over. The season is over. Andy Reid's tenure as head coach is over. Mike Vick's career might be over. Some of these guys are playing their last games as Eagles. Can you believe the last win was in September? At least the team gave Wolverine a good send off.

The thing that pisses me off the most is that I spend 7 months of each year thinking, "I can't WAIT for football season to start." Right now I'm thinking, "When will this end? Put us out of our misery already!" That's just sad.

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2012 Week 12 Picks

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all. The things I'm thankful for today include the amazing Chef Spouse, my new business, and the fact that the Eagles aren't playing today and thus won't ruin what should be a lovely holiday.

What with the feast preparations, getting my picks in got a little delayed. So I'll be brief:

Panthers at Eagles for MNF: Panthers. I think it's entirely possible, maybe even likely, the Eagles don't win another game this season.

Texans at Lions: The Lions are under performing this year, and this matchup should be close. But I don't think it's going to be. Texans.

Redskins at Cowboys: I'll be rooting for the Skins, but I don't think their D is strong enough to get them the win. Cowboys.

Patriots at Jets: Pats

Vikings at Bears: With Jay Cutler? Bears, for sure. Without? I've got the Vikes in a squeaker.

Raiders at Bengals: Bengals, thanks to homefield.

Steelers at Browns: Charlie Batch is likely going to be under center, y'all. He's been good for the Steelers in the past, but I'm going with the Browns as my upset pick.

Bills at Colts: Colts

Titans at Jaguars: Are these two teams still playing? I probably shouldn't judge. The Titans have a better record than the Eagles. And they're going to win.

Broncos at Chiefs: Broncos.

Seahawks at Dolphins: Seahawks will take this one on the strength of their D.

Falcons at Buccaneers: I still think the Falcons will win this one, but I don't think it's going to be nearly as sure a thing as we all would've predicted a few weeks ago.

Ravens at Chargers: I've got the Chargers because East Coast teams tend to have a hard time going west and because I think they're desperate not to fall farther behind the Broncos.

Rams at Cardinals: Rams. The Cards D has fallen off their early season pace and their O hasn't taken up the slack.

49ers at Saints: If Kaepernick stays under center for the Niners, this could be a very high scoring affair. The Saints are surging and they're hard to beat at home, but I've got the 49ers.

Packers at Giants: I think this will also be a close one, but again, gotta go with homefield and the G-men.

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Stick a Fork in 'Em

No stud this week, but Cooper had a few good catches

Eagles at Redskins, Sunday, November 18, 2012 

That was so bad I seriously don't even know what to write.

On the upside, we had a great weekend. Chef Spouse's best friend Steelers Transplant and his new fiancee were in town, and we went out for a really nice dinner Saturday night and then spent all day Sunday hanging out cooking, talking, laughing and drinking champagne to celebrate the engagement.

The best part? Excellent distraction from the game.

The best part of the game? Uh....when it ended?

Both teams needed this game. Only one team seemed aware of the fact.

And if you're wondering, it wasn't the Birds.

Nick Foles looked OK when he wasn't throwing it or fumbling it away. Then again, how different is that than Mike Vick has played all year? And yes, the offensive line is a mess. I know. But wouldn't you think the coaches might make some adjustments to the playcalling or protection schemes as a result?

Apparently not.

The Eagles have the same defensive front four as a year ago. Last year? 50 sacks. First in the league. This year? Not quite dead last, but only the Titans, Jaguars and Raiders are worse.

Insult to injury? McCoy's concussion on a totally meaningless play.

Some of the other Eagles bloggers have theorized that part of the problem is that the locker room is full of guys who, while they're talented football players, have no tradition of winning. And no matter how good you are personally, if you haven't played on teams with the expectation of winning, you don't know how to do what it takes.

If the team was losing by a few points each week, I'd buy that. But they're not - they're getting blown out week after week at this point.

If it wasn't so pathetic, it might actually be a little funny.

Clearly, this is it for Andy Reid. I'm guessing Mike Vick goes, too, at the end of the season. Possibly Nnamdi Asomugha. And the entire offensive line. Hell, it could be a fire sale, when they blow the whole thing up and start over.

And right now, that sounds to me like just the thing.

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2012 Week 11 Picks

This week, the Eagles travel to DC (well, actually, Largo, MD) to take on the Redskins. As many of you know, I'm a DC resident, and I can't even count how many tickets I've been offered to this game. Some for free. Good seats, too. Steelers Transplant and his new fiancee are due in town this weekend, otherwise I'd have been tempted to take some of them. Clearly Redskins fans are equally as depressed about their team's chances as Eagles fans.

The Eagles really should be able to win this game.

The teams are running pretty even offensively, but even with their lack of sacks, the Eagles D is performing better. Or at least it was better until they fired the former O-line coach who was made the defensive coordinator in favor of a guy who, at least on paper, seems to be qualified for the job. Upon which the D promptly fell apart.

Sigh.

Then again, on paper, the Eagles should've been able to win lots of games this season - like against the Saints. And the Lions. And the Cowboys.

What the hell is wrong with these guys this year?

I really have no clue.

I have to believe that, after a week's practice with the first team offense and given that there's no real film to study on him, Foles will do better, giving the Eagles a chance to win.

So I guess I'm picking the Birds. Which either means I'm an eternal optimist - or a complete fool.

In the rest of the matchups:

Dolphins at Bills: Was last week's Fins loss a fluke? Nope. Bills.

Cardinals at Falcons: The only way the Cards would stand a chance is if they got Kevin Kolb back (yes, I went there). And they aren't getting him back, at least this week. Falcons.

Buccaneers at Panthers: The Bucs have been surprisingly good. The Panthers have been surprisingly bad. But I still have the Panthers. Hey, divisional games can be C-RAZY, right?

Browns at Cowboys: Browns. Sike! I wish. Cowboys.

Packers at Lions: Lions, I wish I could quit you. But I can't. Even with the Pack coming off their bye week, I've got the Lions.

Jaguars at Texans: Texans. The Jaguars, as a franchise, are a perfect example of one's eyes being too big for one's appetite. Why does this franchise even exist?

Bengals at Chiefs: I know I swore I wasn't picking the Chiefs any more this season. But they're playing the Bengals. THE BENGALS. Chiefs.

Jets at Rams: Rams. Wow. The Jets really are bad this year, aren't they?

Saints at Raiders: Really thinking Raiders, but the Saints are on a upswing. Then again, the Raiders are at home. Raiders.

Chargers at Broncos: Both teams have very solid D, but the Broncos D will have a much easier time shutting down Philip Rivers than the Chargers will have with the revitalized Peyton Manning. Broncos.

Colts at Patriots: Doesn't have quite the same zing as it used to, does it? Well, it might again, after this weekend. I'm going with Luck and the Colts as my upset pick of the week.

Ravens at Steelers: Divisional grudge match. But the Steelers don't lose at home. Steelers.

Bears at 49ers: Anybody know if Alex Smith is playing this week yet? If he is, and Akers gets his mojo back, I've got the 49ers. Otherwise? I think they're in trouble.

On bye: it's the final bye week, and the Giants, Seahawks, Titans, and Vikings are up

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Hear That?

It's the fat lady singing.

Eagles v. Cowboys, Sunday, November 11, 2012 

Stud of the week: Jeremy Maclin. Mac had a solid game, and made some clutch catches to try to help his rookie QB. He even came back into the game after getting pretty much obliterated by Charlie Peprah. Joe Buck was all, "he should've caught that." You want to hold him while I hit him, or vice versa? Shout out to Riley Cooper for the circus catch on that first drive, too.

The game started well. The Eagles opening drive was probably the best opening drive we've seen out of them this season. And remember, the Cowboys have a top 10 defense. I was feeling pretty positive.

OK, sure then the Cowboys proceeded to march downfield for a TD, taking the game to 7-7. But still, it gave me momentary hope.

And then! The Eagles had a SACK! A SACK!

Then they had ANOTHER one!

Could my typical Eagles fan pessimism be wrong, for once?

Of course not. Silly me.

Vick went down with a concussion, Foles came in and did...not much.

But wait!

Foles hit a WIDE OPEN Mac in the endzone for a TD. And then the Eagles got a field goal to go up by 7.

And I'm thinking: maybe everything is going to be OK. Maybe Vick has been the problem all along. Maybe all is not lost.

This was quickly followed by pretty much the worst 2:30 of football I've ever seen.

First the Cowboys score. Of course, it was clear they didn't actually score - Dez Bryant totally put the ball on the ground - but the PI call would've given them 1st and goal on the 1, so whatever.

Then the Eagles go 3 and out.

Then  Matt McBriar punts to Dwayne Harris, who benefits from a totally obvious and not called block in the back, to take it to the house.

Then on the next possession, Foles tosses a pick six.

OK, maybe I was right in the first place.

Thing is, Nick Foles played pretty well, particularly for a rookie who'd had no practice time with the first team offense.

Well, other than the fact that his pick six throw and fumble in the end zone were the Cowboys margin of victory.

I should say almost the Cowboys margin of victory. Let's not forget Alex Henery's missed PAT. When that happened, I burst into laughter. Because, really? A missed PAT?

And let's talk about King Dunlap for a second.  Wait, let's not. I'm pretty sure the Eagles would've been better off to just say, "Nah, we'll go with 10 guys on offense. It's cool."

And now the Eagles have signed Jake Scott. Does the phrase, "Rearranging deck chairs on the Hindenburg" ring any bells to you?

We got offered 3 different sets of tickets to Eagles/Redskins here in DC next week. We turned them all down. I'll still watch my boys lose, but I'd rather do it in the privacy of my own home. Sigh.

Confidential to the 49ers and Rams: yes, a game CAN end in a tie. And Akers should've remembered that.

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2012 Week 9 Picks

This week the Eagles travel to New Orleans to take on the Saints on Monday Night Football. I'll bet that sounded like a much better idea when the schedules were announced last week than it does now.

On paper, the Eagles should be able to take the Saints. Notice I said "should."

The Saints are another team in disarray. Of course, their problems stem from the whole bounty scandal and its negative effect on their access to their coaching staff.

Hm - the Eagles might actually benefit from lack of access to their coaching staff at this point. Is there any way to jump on the whole bounty thing after the fact?

The Saints are 2-5.

On the other hand, they're playing at home, and they're really hard to beat in the Superdome, even when they, as a whole, aren't very good.

And one could make the argument that they aren't very good this year.

On the other hand, Drew Brees. And the fact that the Eagles are ranked in the middle of the pack against the pass. I don't even want to talk about what's going on with sacks.

The Saints d is, well, terrible.

On the other hand, if the Eagles persist in giving away the ball ("No please, after you. I insist.") at a historically bad rate, that might not matter all that much.

In the end, I have to keep the faith that the Eagles will find a way to win this week. I have to. Because I can't give up on them or the season half way through.

Please guys, get on a hot streak and make me eat my words. Please.

Eagles.

Picking the other games:

Chiefs at Chargers: Chargers. I really am done with the Chiefs now, I swear.

Broncos at Bengals: Broncos. The old Peyton appears to be back.

Ravens at Browns: Even Ray Lewis-less, the Ravens should be able to take divisional rival and punching bag Cleveland.

Cardinals at Packers: I think the Packers will take this one, but I also think it will be close. Homefield and an improving offense should help, though.

Bills at Texans: The Bills got two weeks to prepare. Not that it's going to help them much. Texans.

Dolphins at Colts: I'm going with the Colts rookie, particularly since Tannehil might not be able to go. Colts.

Lions at Jaguars: I've got the Lions here. What? They aren't THAT bad - or maybe it's that the Jags ARE that bad.

Bears at Titans: Bears all the way, baby.

Panthers at Redskins: RGIII's offensive line is almost as bad as Mike Vick's, but I still think the Skins should escape with a win this week, not least of which because Cam Newton is on a epic bummer this year.

Buccaneers at Raiders: I've got the Raiders at home.

Vikings at Seahawks: You know how the Vikings are playing better than expected this year? Yeah, well, the Seahawks are playing at home, ergo, Seahawks.

Steelers at Giants: You know how the Steelers are unbeatable at home? They're not at home this week. But I don't think it's going to matter, because they seem to have the NFC East's number this year. Steelers.

Cowboys at Falcons: So do the Falcons.

On bye: the 49ers, the Jets, the Patriots and the Rams,

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Is It Over Yet?

The ONLY Eagle who flew Sunday.

Eagles v. Falcons, Sunday, October 28, 2012

No, I don't mean the game. I KNOW the game is over. Thank God, because it was truly painful to watch.

No, I don't mean Hurricane Sandy. She's just getting cranked up here in the mid-Atlantic. Stay home and stay safe, y'all.

I mean the Eagles season. Is it over?

OK, mathematically, I know it's not over. The Eagles aren't even at their halfway point, the division-leading Giants are only up 3 games, and the Birds are technically ranked second in the division thanks to beating the G-men a month ago. And no NFC division other than North looks unstoppable at this point, so a wildcard would not be not out of the question, either.

And that's all great, for what it's worth, which right now, the morning after the first post-bye week loss of the Andy Reid era (a 30-17 drubbing by the Falcons at home, in case you've been too busy watching The Weather Channel to keep up) doesn't feel like much.

What is going on at the NovaCare Complex? As Tommy Lawlor points out in detail, this team has been through bad times before under Reid and prevailed. Tommy posits that the loss of veteran leadership on the team and in the coaching staff over the past few years has produced a team where no one is left to teach the new guys the "Eagles Way."

The guys over at Bleeding Green Nation were about an inch away from pulling out the "rearranging deck chairs on the Hindenburg" metaphor on their way to calling out the playcalling and coaching in general, and Andy Reid specifically. 

I think Big Red is flailing, and I suspect Mike Vick is about to be the next scapegoat to be sacrificed. And while he hasn't played up to expectations this season, with a patched together offensive line that can't keep him from ending up on his back starting at sky and trying to ascertain if all his limbs are still attached after 50% or more of his snaps, it's hardly all his fault.

And while I do think that the problems start with Andy and, as a result, I think we're seeing his last 9 games as head coach, I have to wonder if what's really going on is that he's still grieving the loss of his son. It hasn't even been three months since Reid endured one of the most difficult losses any person will ever experience - the loss of a child.

I think it's reasonable to think that Reid may be unable to focus on the team at this time. And while I don't blame him personally - he lost his oldest son for chrissakes - if that is what's going on, I do blame him for not figuring out a way to do what is best for the team and step down or hand over some of his responsibilities.

I realize the situation was unpredictable. Garrett Reid, to refresh your memory, died at training camp just over a month before the start of the 2012 season. At the time, Andy may have thought that he'd be able to pull himself and the team together, and making a head coaching change in early August is pretty much unheard of.

Thing is, whether it's because of his grief at his loss or fear of losing his job or something else none of us can even speculate on, Reid is now hurting the team. Juan Castillo already got thrown under the bus twice - first when he was hired for a position he was totally unsuited for, then when he was fired from that same position. By all appearances, Mike Vick will be next. But I think it's Reid who needs to go.

If this weren't the final year of his contract, it's conceivable he could take a leave of absence. Since he's coaching for his job, that's probably not a possibility. But since it seems likely to me - and many other observers - that that ship has already sailed. Reid needs to look at what's best for the team, and that includes looking in the mirror.

(You'll notice there's no stud of the week. That would be intentional.)

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