Color Me Shocked

Eagles 33, Redskins 27, Monday, September 9, 2013 

Going into the game, there was no reason to think the Eagles could win. Sure RGIII is coming off a major injury, but the Skins are the defending NFC East champions opening the season at home against a division rival that went 4-12 last year.

Meanwhile, the Eagles have a new head coach,  new offensive and defensive coordinators, a new special teams coach, a new offense, a new 3-4 defensive scheme (with players acquired during a 4-3 era), and a bunch of new players, particularly on defense. 

So no way the Eagles win this one, right?

Not exactly.

Stud of the week: there are PLENTY of candidates, believe me (or believe Bleeding Green Nation)

but I think I have to go with Mychal Kendricks, who was *so* all over the field it seemed like there might have been two of him. Or more.

All the talk on SportsCenter and the NFL Network today has been about how fast the Eagles were on offense (well,  that and Ndamukong Suh's $100K fine). How fast were they? They were so fast for the first 3 quarters that Jon Gruden didn't have time to run his mouth, for which we should all be grateful.

In the fourth quarter, the Eagles slowed down. Too much. And Chip Kelly knows it, based on today's interviews. So that's reassuring. Everyone still has something to learn.

In the meantime, Shady McCoy nearly had a career night and looked like he was a player in Madden most of the night, leaving the Redskins defense chasing his shadow and scratching their heads.

DeSean Jackson had a great night too, with over 100 yards and a TD.

Michael Vick looked solid and may have finally found the right offensive scheme. Two things that worried me: him clutching his groin after that 36 yard fourth quarter scramble and the fact that more than once, he was blocking for McCoy or Bryce Brown, which is ballsy and honorable and all that good stuff, and scares the shit out of me.

The defense looked much better than they were in the pre-season, at least until they started giving too much cushion in the fourth quarter. But they've actually learned to tackle! And all that blitzing felt like a return to the JJ years. Also, Patrick Chung really should have picked that final Leonard Hankerson TD. Gotta work on that, buddy.

Excitingly, we also saw outstanding special teams play. Donnie Jones punted well, and in many cases, the ball was coming down close to the goal line and the Eagles had a player behind the Redskins player to prevent the touchback and force either a fair catch or a catch and run. And when a Skins punt returner did run, everyone else was there to stop him cold. We even had a "do it again" 48-yarder from Alex Henery on a night when usually reliable Kai Forbath missed from 40.

Ultimately, the Eagles benefited from the element of surprise - and blazing speed - on a night when RGIII was rusty. Teams, and defensive coordinators, will figure this out eventually. And RGIII got better by the quarter. But for now, a victory feels awfully sweet.

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2013 Week 1 Picks

Trying to choose picks this early in the season is a pain in the ass. All you have to go on is who got traded where this year (useless), rumors (useless), and teams' performance in the preseason (worse than useless). Might as well just flip a coin.

Also, can I talk about how much I hate Thursday Night Football?  I understand that the NFL Network wants to be able to broadcast a weekly game, but that doesn't mean it's not bullshit.

OK, enough grousing. On to the picks.

This week, the Eagles will be coming to DC to open the season on MONDAY Night Football (the only real weeknight for football). Cool Web Dude and I were chatting about the game a few weeks ago, and he opined that if, coming off winning the NFC East for the first time since 1999 and seeing their season end so disastrously, the 'Skins lose this game, it would likely start a downward spiral that would kill their entire season. Fortunately for him and 'Skins fans around the world, there's no way that happens. Redskins.

Ravens at Broncos: Think the Broncos are plenty pissed after having to look at Joe Flacco's mug on [Corporate] Stadium at Mile High? Me, too. Broncos.

Dolphins at Browns: I expect both teams to be dramatically improved this year, but I expect the Fins to be more improved. Dolphins.

Vikings at Lions: Reggie Bush AND Megatron versus Adrian Peterson? Gotta go Lions.

Raiders at Colts: Chef Spouse's company has started a You-Pick-Em league this year with some sweet prizes on the line (Top prize? Two tickets to Super Bowl 48, and, no, I am not kidding), so he's in, or, to be more precise, he'll be picking my picks in his You-Pick-Em league. One of their weekly tie breakers is to choose which team will score the fewest points that week and which team will score the most. At least this week, those will both happen in the same game. Colts.

Chiefs at Jaguars: The new look Chiefs are a bit of a mystery at this point, but the Jags aren't. They suck. Chiefs.

Buccaneers at Jets: Also bringing the suck? The Jets. Buccaneers.

Falcons at Saints: There is NO WAY the Saints drop their season opener at home to their biggest rivals. Saints.

Titans at Steelers: The Titans are on their way up, and the Steelers are on their way down, but Heinz Field is one hell of a homefield advantage. Steelers.

Bengals at Bears: Interesting matchup here. I've picked the Bengals for the playoffs, and although I don't have the Bears, too, lots of others do. The Bengals get by on the strength of their defense, and the Bears defense is their weakness now that Urlacher and Lovie are gone. I'm going with Bengals here, but this could be a low-scoring game.

Seahawks at Panthers: The Panthers are dead meat. Seahawks.

Patriots at Bills: I really *want* to pick the Bills, but I also really want to win those tickets to Super Bowl 48. Patriots.

Packers at 49ers: This should be a great game. I've got the 49ers - homefield again - but this one could go either way.

Cardinals at Rams: I think Carson Palmer is going to REALLY REALLY enjoy playing with Fitz. REALLY. And the Rams are YOUNG. Cardinals.

Giants at Cowboys: Still not getting that whole "earth opens up and swallows the stadium" wish, am I? I think Giants, but this one really is a coin-toss.

Texans at Chargers: The Texans could go to the Super Bowl this year, and the Chargers, well, will not. Bet on it, and on the Texans.

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Eagles at Browns, Sunday, September 9, 2012

That was ugly as sin, but 1-0 is a lot better than 0-1. Just ask Giants fans.

And actually, it wasn't universally a mess. But we'll get to that in a minute.

This week's stud honors are shared by two guys:: DRC and Kurt Coleman, each of whom came down with two picks. On a day when the offense needed the defense to carry them, the D delivered. Big time. OK, sure, it was against a team that decided that drafting a 28 year old rookie was a smart move, but still. Great job, Kurt and Dominique.

On to the bad:

Alex Henery missed another field goal. In a game when points were inexplicably hard to come by. I don't care if he can hit from 55 if he can't hit from 40 when it counts. I miss Akers.

Vick was a hot mess. Those four picks could easily have been more like eight if the Browns defenders had better hands. And they weren't flukey, tipped bad luck passes that could happen to anyone. He was trying to force balls to guys who were double or even triple covered, while dancing around like his shoes were on fire. I'm not going to go all "PUT FOLES IN!" Yet.

And on a day when his QB was struggling and his star running back was ripping an average of 5+ yards a run, why oh why didn't Andy Reid call more run plays? I know, I know - haven't I been paying attention for the past 14 years? I have, of course, but hope springs eternal.

There were some bright spots as well. LeSean McCoy, aside from that extremely rare fumble, had a solid day. So did DeSean Jackson. The entire defense did well. Can I just tell you how much happier I am with our linebacker situation this year? A LOT. Of course, it also helped that Trent Richardson was more interested in hitting guys than looking for the hole. Chas Henry boomed some huge punts on a day when the Birds needed every bit of help they could possibly get.

But the brightest spot of all: even in the midst of a rapidly-escalating debacle, they pulled out a win. How many games like this did the Eagles NOT win last year? Michael Vick had a terrible day, they were sloppy as hell with the penalties, they committed FIVE turnovers - last year, this would've been a loss. They found a way to win. It wasn't nice, it wasn't pretty, it's certainly not going to stand against any team but the Cleveland Browns, but when the game was on the line and they needed one good drive, they did it. It never should've had to come down to whether or not they could be clutch, but they were.

In the rest of the matchups:

Can we all just agree that the replacement officials were terrible? The worst call I saw personally was when they accidentally awarded the Seahawks an extra time out that almost changed the outcome of that game. But I didn't watch every single game, so who knows? Maybe there was worse. NFL, pay up. Please.

Cowboys over Giants: OK, was it that both offenses were that bad or that both defenses were that good? Actually, it was that both o-lines were pretty awful, but the Cowboys' o-line was less awful.

Bears over Colts: Not surprising. Maybe Emo-QB will finally have a reason to smile.

Lions over Rams: All Matthew Stafford does is win. Well, after almost getting beat by the Rams. Still, clutch drive there at the end.

Texans over Dolphins: Another unsurprising outcome. With one notable exception, it was a pretty bad bay for rookie QBs. The Eagles had a lot of turnovers, too, but at least they weren't on back-to-back possessions.

Falcons over Chiefs: One of at least five games this week (with the MNF late game still to start) where the winning team scored 40+ points. Anybody other than me remember the days when 10-6 or 7-3 were common scores? I know they've changed the rules to promote scoring because, as Chef Spouse observed yesterday, 40-32 is way more exciting to watch than 16-10.

Vikings over Jaguars: First game with the new OT rules. Huge shout out to Adrian Peterson for rehabbing a torn ACL faster than pretty much anyone in history.

Redskins over Saints: The Saints haven't lost at home in like a million years (actual time: I think 4 seasons). RGIII clearly had the best rookie start of the week. I'm thinking that whole "the NFL put Sean Payton in a time out" this season is going to be a problem for them.

Jets over Bills: I think Mark Sanchez heard me talking smack about him and decided to prove me wrong. I wonder if that works in reverse? You know, if I praise someone to the skies, they'll screw up royally just to spite me? Because if that's the case, Tony Romo just became my best friend.

Patriots over Titans: Well sure, although who would've figured the Pats would completely shut down Chris Johnson? Then again, Jake Locker's rough day did help them figure out pretty quickly that there was only one guy they had to worry about on the Titans' offense.

Cardinals over Seahawks: And Kevin Kolb had one of his flashes of competence! And the egregiously bad officiating didn't change the outcome of the game! Actually, it might have been better if it had, since that would've probably made the NFL cave.

49ers over Packers: I have to give a shout out to my boy David Akers for tying the NFL field goal record with a 63 yarder as time ran out at the half that clearly shocked even him. And it was in Green Bay, not Denver, so he wasn't getting any help from the location. The 49ers are looking like the complete package this year - smothering D, solid special teams, an outstanding running game, and a QB who has someone to throw at. And a Harbaugh at head coach. They could be trouble.

Buccaneers over Panthers: Huh. Of course, it's pretty hard to win a game when you only rush for 10 yards. Total. As a team. Cam's good and all, but help a QB out, man!

Broncos over Steelers: OK, maybe I was wrong. Maybe Peyton has fully recovered. I was right about this, though: the Steelers are aging out.

Ravens over Bengals: It's Bungles time again! I only caught the second half, and the Bengals couldn't do anything right. Given the final score, I'm guessing that was the story of the first half, too. Andy Dalton spent the whole second half on his ass staring at the sky, when he wasn't getting picked off or watching Ray Rice run all over his defense when Joe Flacco wasn't picking them apart. Bad weekend for Ohio.

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2012 Week 1 Picks

Eagles at Browns: Eagles of course. This should be an easy win. Trust the Eagles to make it harder than it has to be, of course, but there's no excuse. They have to win the easy games this year, and if they blow this one, they might want to think about relocating to Cleveland. Permanently.

Cowboys at Giants: Giants. And more drama in Dallas. Also, the sun rose in the east this morning.

Colts at Bears: Bears. Rumor has it Brian Urlacher might not play, which would be a shame. Gotta let Andrew Luck know what he's in for, right?

Rams at Lions: Lions. Everyone's 0-0, and the Rams are still one of the worst teams in football.

Dolphins at Texans: Texans. Except for the Dolphins.

Falcons at Chiefs: Falcons. Oy, and the Chiefs.

Jaguars at Vikings: Jaguars. Blaine Gabbert HAS to be better this year, right?

Redskins at Saints: Poor RG3. What a lousy way to start your NFL career. Saints.

Bills at Jets: Bills. How long do you think it will take Jets fans to erect a billboard to Tim Tebow along 95?

Patriots at Titans: Patriots.

Seahawks at Cardinals: Cards? Who knows? Who cares? It's the first week, and it's already nearly a lock that these teams will be bottom feeders.

49ers at Packers: Now this is gonna be a game. I'm calling the Pack. despite my contention that the 49ers will win their division, because, come on, they aren't going to lose their home opener.

Panthers at Buccaneers: Panthers. Looking for a good year from Cam Newton.

Steelers at Broncos: Broncos. Unless someone knocks down Peyton a few times, because The Peyton does not care to be knocked down, of course.

Bengals at Ravens: Ravens.

Chargers at Raiders: Raiders. It's my upset pick.

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2011 Week 1 Recap

Eagles at Rams, Sunday, September 11, 2011

In attendance: Shoegal, Ex-Navy Cheesehead, a good friend from grad school and her kids, Chef Spouse

Menu: fajitas and 'ritas and apple pie and bourbon - it's football, baby!

Stud of the week: How is NOT Mike Vick? Well, maybe because it's LeSean McCoy. Shady had 122 yards and two TDs. This is the year he breaks out big time. Bet on it.

Dear Rams:

We broke your team. Sorry about that. Hope you enjoy the fruit basket.

Love,

The Eagles

I really hate to see guys get hurt (well, other than Cowboys). Bad, bad day for the Rams.  When AJ Feeley showed up, I was all: "Hey baby! What's up?" Good to see AJ's still working. If the Rams can't protect Bradford better, he could see a lot more time this season.

How many passes can a receiving corps drop in one game? The Rams were closing in on "all of them." The Eagles will not be that lucky again this season. And the run defense was not brilliant, particularly considering that Steven Jackson went down early. The o-line started out rough, although they did get better as the game went on, but there were still too many hits on Vick for my comfort.

And penalties, penalties, penalties. Jesus, what else is new? Then again, road domes are LOUD. We have to see what happens outside next week in Atlanta and/or when the Iggles get home against the Giants on the 25th (assuming the Giants have enough guys left to field a team at that point). But penalties that extend drives make the Baby Jesus cry.

Still, good win on the road over a team on the rise to start the season. And sacks for everyone! I'll take it.  (Oh, and points on D? I'll take that, too, thanks! Also, could someone please tell Dion Lewis that it's OK to take the touch back?)

Around the rest of the league:

Packers over Saints: That was a hot damn exciting way to kick off the 2011 NFL season.

Ravens over Steelers: To everyone who said I was crazy to pick the Ravens to win AFC North: you sure about that?

Bears over Falcons: Man, what happened to the NFC South this week?

Bengals over Browns: Whatevs. Neither of these teams will be in contention for anything this season.

Texans over Colts: OK, the Colts lost their QB/coach, and the Texans have always been able to put up points, but where the hell did the Colts defense go? Seriously - I didn't watch the game. Did they all skive off to nurse Peyton back to health or something? And if so, did it work?

Jaguars over Titans: I went to nfl.com to see the game highlight videos, and there were none. I joke. Still, how can two teams in both AFC North and South already be irrelevant? Don't know, but they are.

Bills over Chiefs: And it just gets worse for the Chiefs, with Eric Berry out for the season with a jacked up left knee.

Lions over Buccaneers: Even more amazingly, Matthew Stafford made it through the entire game without a season-ending injury.

Cardinals over Panthers: Two bright spots: one,  Cam Newton had one hell of a first game. Two, Kevin Kolb won his first game with Cards.

Chargers over Vikings: In the 4 pm time slot, we were watching Giants at Redskins, but we kept flipping to Chargers/Vikings since the DirecTV Sunday Ticket online was a total FAIL yesterday (it may have even risen - fallen? - to the level of EPIC FAIL. Maybe even EPIC FIAL.), so we had to rely on flipping channels to watch two games. Every time we flipped to Chargers/Vikings, the Chargers were on offense. That probably tells you everything you need to know about this game. Well, that and the fact that DMac's first pass as a Viking was a pick. And that he only threw for 39 yards yesterday. Ouch.

49ers over Seahawks: Ted Ginn is the new Devin Hester. Whatever you do, do NOT kick to him. Think Harbaugh can get consistently good play out of Alex Smith? He did yesterday. And David Akers was money for his new team. Of course. Miss you, #2.

Redskins over Giants: How crazy was that? Did ANYONE have the Redskins? And frankly, it wasn't as close as 28-14 makes it look. The Giants made Sexy Rexy look like freakin' Tom Brady out there. Decimated by injury much? Yes, and Eli looked totally out of sorts. Speaking of totally out of sorts...

Jets over Cowboys: What the hell happened to Tony Romo in the 4th quarter? That snap bouncing off his chest was the second funniest dumb ass move I've seen him make (the first being the infamous bungled hold for the field goal attempt against the Lions where he didn't even have the presence of mind to pick the ball up and rush for the, like, 1 yard the Boys needed for a first and goal). Conclusion: God hates the Cowboys every day, and twice on Sundays.

And I just watched Chad Henne #pwn the Patriots for 6. Sorry, Ochocinco - gotta root against you. You shouldn't have gone to play for the devil.

Are you going to stay up for Broncos/Raiders? Yeah, me neither.

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2011 Week 1 Picks

The preseason was so brief and chaotic this year, how can I possibly pick the games for week one?

I have to give priority to the teams I picked for the playoffs, and other than that? Coin flip.

The Eagles open the 2011 season traveling to St. Louis to take on San Bradford and his Rams. I had the opportunity to visit St. Louis for the first time for a conference in August. I wasn't super excited to go - this same conference has recently been in Chicago, San Diego, LA and Toronto - but I was very pleasantly surprised by St. Louis. The city really rolled out the red carpet for us, from an opening party on the grounds of the Arch complete with fireworks to shutting down several blocks of the Washington Avenue entertainment district for us for the closing party. The people were super nice, and the city itself was lovely.

What does that have to do with the game? Not a damn thing, but I wanted to say some nice things about St. Louis to try to take some of the sting out of the beat down they're going to experience Sunday. Do you think it helped?

Eagles.

Saints at Packers: This is a tough one, since I picked BOTH teams to make post-season appearances, but I'll have to go with home field advantage and pick the Packers.

Steelers at Ravens: See above. Ravens.

Bengals at Browns: Coin says Browns.

Colts at Texans: Texans.

Titans at Jaguars: Coin says Titans.

Bills at Chiefs: Coin says Chiefs.

Falcons at Bears: Falcons.

Lions at Bucs: Lions. Go Team of Destiny! Let's see if you can get Matthew Stafford through a game without suffering a major injury.

Giants at Redskins: Giants. Didn't need a coin for this one. The Redskins are going to be TERRIBLE this year.

Panthers at Cardinals: Cards.

Seahawks at 49ers: Coin says 49ers. Coin may be wrong.

Vikings at Chargers: Two more Snark-predicted playoff teams. Home field says Chargers.

Cowboys at Jets: J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS!

Patriots at Dolphins: Patriots. Poor Dolphins. They are also likely to be TERRIBLE this year.

Raiders at Broncos: Gotta go with the Raiders, who I think are on an upswing. Really.


 

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Sunday Schedule: Sunday, September 11, 2011

After months of fear and uncertainty about whether we'd even HAVE a 2011 season, it's FINALLY here! Hallelujah!

The season kicks off with Saints at Packers on Thursday night, and I CAN HARDLY WAIT!

OK, for Sunday:

1 pm: Eagles at Rams

4 pm: Giants at Redskins

8 pm: Cowboys at Jets

Menu: Chef Spouse is going traditional with fajitas and 'ritas (and of course guacamole). If you're coming PLEASE let us know by Saturday so we buy enough food and please bring something to share (food or beverage).

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2010 Week 1 Recap

Eagles v. Packers, Sunday, September 12, 2010

In attendance:  I was all by myself in Chicago, but Chef Spouse reports that Shoegal joined him back in DC

Menu:  I got a room service burger.  Chef Spouse made fajitas and guacamole, which appears to have lost its magical powers in the offseason.

Stud of the Week:  Mike Vick.  Damn, I don't remember him looking that good back in Atlanta. And with K2 out for, well, we don't really know how long at this point, could we see a QB controversy brewing? Probably not - Big Red has said definitively that K2 is the future. But Vick looked terrific - his wheels are back, he was accurate, he made good short and long passes and good decisions, and he took what the defense gave him.  I know a lot of people are pissed he didn't run it in mid-way through the fourth quarter when we took the 3 points instead, leaving us down by 7, but he was about 12 yards out and while there were no Packers DIRECTLY in front of him, there were several nearby between him and the end zone.  Other than that (and I do think he made the right decision in attempting the pass, because the run was all or nothing at that point, and it had little chance of succeeding), he played a great game, jumpstarting our moribund offense and nearly bringing us back from an ass-whuppin' that was a lot more one-sided than the 17 point (at its widest) differential reflected.  Did you know that Vick is now one of only 3 QBs with over 4000 rush yards? The other two are Steve Young and our own Randall Scramble.
Other than that, there wasn't a lot of good.  Both teams start game day with a 45 man roster, and by the end of the first half, I was pretty sure one or both teams was going to run out of players.

At the beginning of the game, I was thinking: "I'm really surprised Jamal Jackson is back! It seems awfully fast after a torn ACL and, although he's clearly a better center than the other options (Cole and McGlynn), he and K2 have had NO time together."  Did you miss that he was even there? That's because, basically by the time I finished thinking that thought, he was out (maybe for the season - again) with a torn triceps.

Packers rookie Clay Matthews had a great day, if by "great day" you mean "physically incapacitated every single Eagle he came within 10 feet of."

K2?  Out with a concussion for who knows how long.

Stewart Bradley?  Same.  Now, he did fall down after getting up because he tripped on his own feet, but he seriously got his clock cleaned, which you could tell by looking at his eyes.

I already mentioned our center.

And then there's Leonard Weaver.  That was literally a sickening collision.  Knees are not supposed to bend like that.  He had to pretty much be carried off the field, and it looked like he was crying.  Think he's out for the season?  Yeah, me too.  During the game Adam Schefter tweeted that the Eagles were thinking it was probably a torn ACL (it is).  I quote @BleedingGreen:

My eyes reported that when it happened.

The Eagles sideline was starting to look like the train station scene in Gone with the Wind, only less cheerful.

I remember at one point, Clay Matthews had drilled Mike Vick and the Idiot Twins were blathering on about God knows what on TV and Vick's holding his left arm and they're not addressing it and I about flipped out.  Because I saw Mike Kafka at training camp, and trust me, we do not want him to be our only option.

On to the game itself.  K2, until he went down, looked like a rookie.  He's still keying on particular receivers and not going through his reads.  I hope he's able to fix that.  Also, son, you're not Big5.  Don't throw off your back foot.  I also didn't like the constant screwing around with taking him out and putting Vick in, because it seemed to me that he never got a chance to get comfortable.  Just leave him alone and let him run the offense for chrissakes!

David Akers continues to be money.  He was good from 45, and he's pretty much the only guy on the team over 30 at this point. Something to think about.  Of course, he is a kicker, and they tend to have long careers, but still.

I expected penalties from this bunch of young'uns.  But more penalty yards in the first half than total yards?  Only 7 total yards of offense?  NO catches for Peanut?  NO catches for Celek?

And then we started the second half without K2.  At least it made AR and/or Mornhinweg quit screwing around and just play a QB.  But we still couldn't seem to do anything right.  Vick started with a solid run and a great pass - and then Charles Woodson knocked the ball loose as Eldra Buckley fights for more yards, and the Packers waltzed on down the field for another score, taking the score to 20-3.

After that, our offense starting to making things happen, but the defense fell apart.  We got in the end zone - FINALLY - and then the Packer got a great run back on the kickoff  and then 4 plays later, SCORED AGAIN.  Were they just gassed in the second half, are the Packers that good (possibly), or can they just not cover anyone (I sure as hell hope that's not it)?

I definitely didn't like the draw call on our last chance to put together a drive on the 4th and 1.  Vick's a great outside runner, but he's not big or powerful enough for the draw play.  And the Packers clearly knew it was coming.

And, as usual, our clock management was a mess. In other news, gravity is still in effect.

I suspect Vick will start again against the Lions next week, given the concussion situation, and after that, we'll have to see.  But again, Andy's 100% that Kolb's the future, so let's hope he can get over his beginner jitters soon.

Around the rest of the NFL...

(I'm operating at a bit of a handicap here, since I'm on a business trip and it's seriously curtailing my SportsCenter and NFL Network viewing time.  I'll do my best, and I promise to return to full-on snark next week.)

Saints over Vikings:  Not exactly the dazzling offensive fireworks we were all expecting, but a good game, and a good start to a Saints season that will hopefully see at least an NFC South repeat.  Brett Favre looked RUSTY RUSTY RUSTY.  Shouldn't have spent the entire offseason in Mississippi, Gramps.

Bucs over Browns:  For a while there (OK, the first half) it looked like the Browns might actually win one.  Nope.

Dolphins over Bills:  The game was closer than I expected.  Dolphins, if you're going to win the division, you need to start playing like the season actually, you know, STARTED.
Pats over Bengals:  Hm.  So the TO/Ochocinco combo didn't produce rainbow, unicorns, and puppies for everyone.  Imagine that.

Texans over Colts:  I actually got to watch the second half of this game.  Jeff Saturday is one of the few centers known by name in the NFL.  He was out Sunday with an injury.  How much do you think Peyton missed him?  What's more than "a lot"?  Midway through the game, I wrote:  "If the Texans lose, the play of the game was Pierre Garcon saving the Glover Quin almost-pick mid way through the 4th. Not too sure about that call, but it led to the Colts' TD, cutting the Texans' lead to 10." But the Texans pulled it out anyway.  I'm telling you, this is their year to at least GET TO the playoffs.
Jaguars over Broncos:  I have literally no comment on this other than, "Hm."

Steelers over Falcons:  I admit it - I'm surprised.  It's too early to tell, but I was expecting the Steelers to struggle due to their offseason messes and the Falcons to be really strong this year.  Both of those could still happen, but not this week.

Titans over Raiders:  WAY over.  So far over, I think Chris Johnson was showered and sipping an umbrella drink in the owner's box by the start of the second half. Jason Campbell also got sacked 4 times.  Maybe it's him.

Giants over Panthers: I still don't think they're going to be very good this year, but then again, neither will the Panthers.

Bears over Texans:  I'm not so sure about the Calvin Johnson TD that was called back with 24 seconds left. He clearly had control.  I call BS.  I get that it's The Rule, but it's one of the rules that makes no sense.

Cardinals over Rams:  Who's even under center in Arizona?  Guess it doesn't matter if you still have Fitz and Tim Hightower.

Seahawks over 49ers:  Is it too late to change my pick for NFC West?

Redskins over Cowboys:  I sure as hell hope you watched the game because it was SUPER exciting.  I am SO glad to be wrong about this one.  I am SO glad DMac was able to start the season with a win over the Cowboys after the ignominious way last season ended.  Both teams made plenty of dumb mistakes, but I have to say that the Cowboys were embarrassingly sloppy.  I thought Trent Williams did quite a good job. I think Miles Austin is a punk.  I think the Cowboys play dirty.  And I think it must be great to be in DC today.

Off to watch the MNF double header with some vendors at a sports bar...no doubt trouble of the best kind awaits....

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2010 Week 1 Picks

This week's promo email from the Eagles opened with

"A new era of Eagles football gets underway as Kevin Kolb takes over the reins of this young, but experienced team."

I'll say - in the past two years, Big Red has shed the 3 long-time leaders of the team (Donovan McNabb, Brian Westbrook, and Brian Dawkins, for those of you who haven't been paying attention).  Who will step up?  It remains to be seen.  But the thing about the start of a new era is that it's generally rough going.  Case in point?  Our opponents on Sunday, the Packers.

Rodgers is where K2 will be in a few years (given the patience of Philadelphia fans, I hope it's a VERY few years for his sake), but he's not there now.  If you recall, in 2008 (Rodgers first year of starting after warming the bench behind Brett Favre for 3 years), the Packers went 6-10.  I'm calling the Eagles to go 6-10 this year.  Coincidence? Well, yeah, I just looked that up right now.  But still.

Last year,  if you'll recall, the Packers went 11-5, secured a playoff spot, and...well, they lost to the Cardinals, but it was a barn burner of a game (51-45, to refresh your memory).

I expect a similar trajectory for the new Eagles.  Which, seeing as they're playing a team I think could possibly go all the way this year, adds up to an opening week loss in my book.

Around the rest of the NFL...

Is it dumb for me to keep complaining when the NFL hosts major events in New Orleans that are accompanied by music that DON'T feature any New Orleans musicians? Probably, but it's not going to stop me.  At least Trombone Shorty and Kermit Ruffins got on stage and they had some Social Aid & Pleasure Club guys up there too.

Moving on, I'll be making these picks based on little more than how I think the teams are likely to fare overall this season, based on little more than what they looked like last year, what I know about how the team changed in the off-season (partial information at best), and instinct.  In other words, this is going to be a TOTAL crap shoot.

Vikings at Saints:  Is there ANY way the defending champions lose the opener of the  entire season in their own house, one of the most hostile fields in the entire NFL to opposing teams?  No sir, there is not.  I'm actually hoping that someone will literally rip off one of Brett Favre's legs, although it seems doubtful.  But I can hope.

Browns at Buccaneers:  Wow.  Worst Game of the Week.  No contest.  The Bucs will win, though.

Dolphins at Bills:  Dolphins.  Also, I just checked out the Bills' roster on their website.  Who the hell are all those guys? I seriously recognize about three names, and one of them is the kicker (Rian Lindell, if you're wondering).

Bengals at Patriots:  Bengals.  TO hasn't had enough time to destroy the team.  Yet.

Colts at Texans:  Texans.  I picked you to win the division. Don't let me down, boys.

Broncos at Jaguars:  The Broncos are a middling-good team.  The Jags are a middling-bad team.  But they play in a tougher division.  I think Broncos, though.

Falcons at Steelers:  It seems crazy, but I'm calling the Falcons.  Even if Big Ben were back, I'd probably still be calling Falcons, who I think are going to be pretty damn good this year.

Raiders at Titans:  Raiders.  Just because I like Jason Campbell and wish him well.  And they have to be better this year, right?  They can hardly be worse.

Panthers at Giants:  I don't think either of these teams are going to be much good this year. I'll call Panthers, just because I always wish ill on other NFC East teams, but really I don't know about this game.

Lions at Bears:  Neither of these teams are going to be much good either, and I'm calling Lions because Matthew Stafford is a stud and Jay Cutler is a whiny bitch.

Cardinals at Rams:  The Cardinals are officially a wreck.  So are the Rams.  But at least the Cards have recent memory of being good.  Of course, all the guys who were the good ones are retired or playing for other teams now, except poor Fitz, who now has no one to throw to him.  What a waste.  Rams.

49ers at Seahawks:  49ers. I'm definitely looking forward to another season of Mike Singletary.  He's almost as entertaining on the sidelines as Rex Ryan.

Cowboys at Redskins:  Redskins!  DMac!  Team of Destiny!  Who's with me?!?  Yeah, we all know - the Cowboys will win this one.  I just hope rookie left tackle Trent Williams can keep the Cowboys from killing McNabb.

Ravens at Jets:  This is going to be the BEST game of the week.  THIS is why you need to get your popcorn ready.  I think the Ravens win it, mostly because I think they might be ready to go all the way this year.  But I actually intentionally refused to schedule any member meetings at the conference I'll
be attending for Monday night JUST so I can watch this game.

Chargers at Chiefs:  Chargers.

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Sunday Schedule, September 12, 2010

Can you believe this shit? I'm not going to be here. Major conference, so I'm flying out first thing in the morning so I'm all settled in Chicago in time to watch at least our game and Cowboys/Redskins.

Honestly, WHO schedules a conference to START opening weekend?

OK, so we'll be watching the actual 2010 season opener (Vikings at Saints) here tonight.  Sunday looks like this:




1 pm game - Panthers at Giants (not that this is going to be a GOOD game, mind you, but it is a divisional rival)
4 pm game - Packers at Eagles
8 pm game - Cowboys and Redskins (GO, DMAC, GO!)




MNF 7 pm - Ravens at Jets (now THAT is going to be a good game)
MNF 10 pm - Chiefs at Chargers



Menu?  The traditional season opening fajitas, of course.  I'll likely be eating room service, unless I can find a Packer bar in Chicago where I can go start a fight.

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2009 Week 1 Recap

Eagles at Panthers, Sunday, September 13, 2009

In attendance: Shoegal, ExNavy Cheesehead, Chef Spouse

Menu: small bowl of Chef Spouse's amazing guac (couldn't find decent avocados), Yuengling, crudities, yummy hoagies from Taylor

Stud of the Week: I really could've picked anyone on the D, but I had to go with my man Sheldon Brown, who picked off Jake Delhomme twice. Not that that seems to have been all that tough a job yesterday, but still.

First of all, I was SO wrong. Both our D and our O were ready to rock. Although on that first Panthers drive, I was heard to remark: "Did everyone forget how to tackle after Jim Johnson died?" I was also heard to remark: "If they can just rattle Jake Delhomme, I guarantee he'll start throwing picks." Yes, I may be psychic. Which, if true, is good news for the Lions.

Let's deal with the good before we get to the bad (and hear why I'm not panicking...yet.)

Our D was dominant. DOMINANT. They dismantled the Panthers. Seriously - I think Jake Delhomme's left arm may have landed in my back yard. Dick Stockton was talking about how JJ must be smiling down from heaven. Sean McDermott did him proud - he's clearly been paying attention for the last 10 years. Best moment? The crap time at the end of the game when the Panthers decided to go for the TD on 4th & goal, and our first team goal line D ran out there all "NOT. GONNA. HAPPEN." And it didn't.

Our O looked really great too. BWest's offseason training was a little unconventional, consisting entirely of surgery, but it looks like it worked. He was cutting like the old days. Also, now that we have so many options on O, they can't just send everyone after Westy. And the new guys - Maclin and McCoy - both got playing time and both stepped up. And Celek made Chris Cooley look like The Prophet of Football. Leonard Weaver got a carry. And did you see Peanut's speed? It's a party and everyone's invited.

Did I mention all of our offensive options? Last year, Big 5 threw to something like 10 receivers for over 200 yards each, which was an NFL record. This year, he could top himself. Assuming we get him back.

So now we're on to the bad. As everyone knows by now, McNabb broke a rib. It was a late hit - big time - that was not called, but really, does it even matter? How much do you want to bet AR was thinking, "Why me, God?" Many commentators have been calling this both the most talented group of players the Eagles have EVER assembled and favorites to go the Super Bowl. That would depend on us having our 5 time Pro Bowl QB able to play.

But there is an up side (I think). When he went down, Stockton was talking about knees. I was FREAKING out. Knee injuries, in my experience, are not good. Ribs we can deal with. QBs can play with injured ribs (see Roethlisberger, Ben). Also? Vick is available for the Chiefs. Also? We have an early bye. Also? My boy Jeff Garcia's back! Kolb was, um, let's call it not that impressive once he took over yesterday. But I think we can come out of the first 3 games 2-1 (we'll lose to the Saints - unless our D wins it for us, which is not impossible, but is unlikely - and beat the Chiefs regardless of who's under center), rest McNabb until after the bye and be good to go. I hope.

Around the rest of the NFL...

Steelers over Titans. What a way to kick off the 2009 season! Defensive battle that goes to OT. It was a costly victory for the Steelers, though, as Troy Polamalu is out for 3-6 weeks. And they looked like a different team without him. However, they don't face the Ravens until after he's back even in the worst case scenario, so hopefully it won't kill them.

Falcons over Dolphins. A lot of people say that the NFC East has resumed its rightful place as the toughest division in football. NFC South is quietly making inroads on that title.

Broncos over Bengals. Well, yeah, although that was one wacky ending. Dawk and Buck had good games, but if it requires an Act of God to get you past the Bengals, you are in for a LOOOOONG season, my friends.

Vikings over Browns. Um, yeah. Quarterback, schmarterback. Anyone heard of a guy named Adrian Peterson?

Jets over Texans. Ok, either Mark Sanchez is the second coming of Dan Marino or I might've been wrong about the Texans. Beginner's luck?

Colts over Jaguars. Although it was a lot closer than I thought it would be. Peyton's not looking so magical without Dungy and a cadre of amazing receivers.

Saints over Lions. And Drew Brees threw for the most TDs in one game in about 40 years. We could be in trouble next week. Also, see above RE: the NFC South. Also, Matt Stafford may not be the QB of destiny.

Cowboys over Bucs. Well, the NFC South's hot other than the Bucs. Who could've predicted that Tonyboy would do better without TO, other than everyone who's paid any attention to Captain ME!'s career at all? Also, it's September. Just wait and see what happens in December.

Ravens over Chiefs. That part's not surprising. What was surprising was the high score in the game - 38 to 24? What the hell? What was up with the Ravens vaunted defense?

49ers over Cardinals. Did I mention recently how bad the NFC West is? Oy.

Giants over Skins. If you didn't watch the game, the score doesn't indicate how TOTALLY one-sided it was. The Skins looked awful. Jason Campbell couldn't get it together, the D (which has been their strong suit in the last few years) looked anemic, the team was totally undisciplined, and Zorn's playcalling was just bizarre. Clearly, the man knows his job is on the line, but clearly, that's already driving him to crazy choices. This could be a long season for Redskins fans.

Seahawks over Rams. Good luck, Spags, you have your work cut out for you. If you can turn this team around, you deserve the Nobel prize for football.

Packers over Bears. Jay Cutler looked as bad as Jake Delhomme, and Brian Urlacher's out for the season (just reported on MNF as I type this). Things are not looking good in Chi-town.

Right now, the Bills are up and Rocks Brady looks pretty unsettled. Not so easy to recover from a major injury, is it there, Rocks? TO's been a non-factor so far, but the Bills are looking like they might bring the upset.

No need to wait for the recap of Chargers/Raiders, because we ALL now how that's going to turn out.

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2009 Week 1 Picks

Sing it with me, now:

It's the most wonderful time of the year! It's the most wonderful time of the year!

How do we survive the long lonely months between the pro bowl and opening weekend? I do not know, fellow football fans, but I sure am glad it's over.

Eagles/Panthers: I know it's the first game, and it seems cruel to do it, but I'm picking us to lose. I think our offense is likely to be pretty high-powered this season, but I also think they haven't quite gotten the kinks worked out yet. Also, as goeagles99 points out, things are still in flux (big time) 5 days before our first game. I also think our young group of defenders needs a little more time together to start working smoothly. Look for a rough first few weeks, facing two of the tough NFC South teams, regrouping during our early bye, and a kick-ass weeks 5-17.

Steelers/Titans: Other teams have no shot against the AFC North. Well, unless they're playing the Browns. Or the Bengals. Actually, it's just the Steelers and Ravens that are trouble. Which is bad news for the Titans. Steelers.

Dolphins/Falcons: It's so hard picking winners at this point, since we haven't really seen the teams in action yet. Coin flip says Falcons.

Broncos/Bengals: OK, even not having seen much of the teams yet, this one's not hard to pick. Broncos.

Vikings/Browns: Nor this one, even with Vicodin Boy at the helm. Vikings.

Jets/Texans: Based on my no doubt crackpot theory that this is their breakout year, Texans.

Jaguars/Colts: Colts. (Watch it, this will be the year the Jaguars finally pull it together. If it happens, you heard it here first. If not, we never had this conversation.)

Lions/Saints: I suppose since I picked them to win NFC North, I should go with the Lions. Hmmmmm.....Saints.

Cowboys/Bucs: Cowboys. They're a bunch of tools, but all is not well in Tampa Bay.

Chiefs/Ravens: Ravens. See above re: other teams' chances against the Ravens and/or Steelers.

49ers/Cardinals: Oh my God. We still have to suffer through divisional NFC West games! Can't someone fix this? Cardinals.

Skins/Giants: I think the Skins are going to surprise the Giants who are, as I'd mentioned, fresh out of receivers.

Rams/Seahawks: GAHHH! More NFC West! I'm going with Rams, just for the hell of it.

Bears/Packers: Packers. Look out for Jay Cutler to pout.

Bills/Patriots: Patriots. You don't have to look out for TO to pout - trust me, you won't be able to miss it.

Chargers/Raiders: Raiders, I had your back until you cut my boy Jeff Garcia. Chargers.

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Sunday Schedule: September 13, 2009

Welcome to the 2009 season, homeslices!

I'll be at home Thursday night watching the Steelers whup up on the Titans, if anyone cares to stop by. Otherwise, for Sunday:

1 pm: Eagles/Panthers
4 pm: Skins/Giants (with periodic check-ins on Cowboys/Bucs)
8 pm: Bears/Packers

MNF: double header of Bills/Patriots and then Chargers/Raiders

3 days - 6 games - happy Snark!

For the menu, we're planning to pick up hoagies from the fabulous Taylor, home of delicious and authentic Philly sammiches here in the hood. The bread's from Sarcone's and they would NEVER sully your hoagie with anything but oil & vinegar and Italian seasoning. Bring something that will go with!

Edited to add: Joe pointed out that the Cowboys/Bucs game is at 1 pm opposite the Eagles game. Guess we WON'T be flipping to that, even if our game is a blow out one way or the other, because I need to see how our new players fare in a real game situation.

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