2012 Conference Championship Picks

"So at last we meet again for the first time for the last time..."

Both of our #2 teams this week came [this] close to the Super Bowl last year. And I desperately wanted a 49ers-Ravens, Harbaugh v. Harbaugh Super Bowl last year. This year, I may get my wish.

49ers at Falcons: As the Seahawks proved last week, it is damn hard to go into Atlanta and win. Still, I can't see Matty Ice and the Dirty Birds overcoming the #3 defense the week after they put down the #4 defense, even if they did get to sleep in their own beds all week. Also, the Hawks put up some impressive numbers towards the end of the regular season, but not Colin Kaepernick numbers. Gotta go 49ers. Don't let me down, guys.

Ravens at Patriots: Chef Spouse and I were talking about the games this afternoon, and I said, "If it's another stupid Patriots Super Bowl, I'm not watching!" He responded, "Yes, you will." And I said, "No! I'll watch the commercials, but F those guys."

I really do feel that way.

Chef Spouse, in the meantime, has a man crush on Ray Lewis.

By rights, the Pats should win this game. Then again, the Pats took the Ravens out LAST year, too.

"Never pick against the Pats at home...."

Except this week. I'm going Ravens.

Side note: welcome to Philly, Chip Kelly. You weren't my top choice - I wanted Lovie Smith - but you were lots of other people's top choice including, apparently, Jeff Lurie (which is all that matters). The NFL ain't college, and Philadelphia ain't Oregon. Hope you're ready. 

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2011 Conference Championships Recap

Patriots over Ravens. Billy Cundiff: C’mon man! I know it's easy to scapegoat the kicker, but this one really was his fault. Missing a 32 yard field goal to tie the AFC Championship game with 11 seconds in regulation is just unacceptable. Guess who'll be kicking for the CFL next year?

Giants over 49ers: Kyle Williams: C’mon man! Special teams can make or break you, and his boneheaded mishandling of the punt and his boneheaded fumble led directly to 10 Giants points, including the field goal that won the game in overtime. But at least he'll have company in the CFL next year.


The Snark? 0-2 this weekend.

At least they were both good games, but I was so sad at the end of both. I really wanted a Ravens/49ers Super Bowl, and I really don’t give a good goddamn about the game now. I’ll be rooting for a natural disaster to swallow up Colts’ stadium.


The Ravens FINALLY swept the Steelers for the first time ever(?) this year, and Ray Lewis and Ed Reed are probably retiring.

Jim Harbaugh managed to effect a remarkable transformation in San Francisco in his rookie year as a head coach. Alex Smith finally started to live up to his promise. And they have my secret kicker boyfriend David Akers (Philadelphians are irrationally attached to the guy). And Vernon Davis doesn’t have a whole lot of years left, ether.

Meanwhile, we'll get to watch another Super Bowl between two totally self-satisfied teams with two of the most annoying fan bases in any pro sports.

But I’m not bitter.

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2011 Conference Championship Picks

Sticking with the "defense wins championships" theory:

Ravens at Patriots: I sure as hell hope the good Ravens show up, or this will be a hot mess. But I'm picking based on the "God is now royally pissed" theory and going with the Ravens. Also, defense.

Giants at 49ers: 49ers. By the way, yes, it's totally killing me that the Eagles missed the playoffs by [this] much. And that a reason they missed the playoffs by [this] much is that they lost to the 49ers by [this] much in week 4. I should stop now, before I go jump off the roof. There's always next year...

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2010 Conference Championship Recap

Packers over Bears: As (I) expected. Two good halves of football were played Sunday. Unfortunately, they weren't by the same team. The Packers looked unstoppable for the first half. And then Jay Cutler went down, Todd Collins played like, well, Todd Collins, and they handed the game over to rookie Caleb Hanie, who had never taken an NFL snap. "OK, kid, here's the situation. It's f-ing freezing. We're in the NFC Championship game, down by 14 points to a division rival. The fans are out of it - we think they may actually have been cryogenically frozen by the stadium conditions at this point - our starting QB is hurt and our backup QB is a mess. Good luck!"  Surprisingly, the kid did pretty well - better than Jay Cutler was doing, at any rate. How hurt was he? I can't say, but it was the NFC Championship game. Moving on, Matt Forte had a good game. And the Bears D came alive in the second half. But with a rookie under center, it just wasn't enough. And the Pack are going to Texas. Think they can win it all? Well, not if they play like they did in the second half yesterday.

Edited Tuesday, January 25 to add: an astute reader pointed out that Hanie's not technically a rookie. I should've come up with the better term for "newbie," but what I was trying to stress was: how many games had he started before Sunday? Answer: zero.  

Steelers over Jets:As (I also) expected. The thing is, if the Jets' receivers could catch a ball or the Jets' defense could've tackled ANYONE, this game could have gone completely differently. It's a different kind of football than Eagles fans are used to - actually, that's the case with both teams here - with a QB managing the game with a strong defense and a strong ground attack, when his main job is to not make any big mistakes. And Mark Sanchez can totally handle that. And the Jets have gone to the AFC Championship game - and lost - both of his first two years in the league. That's something that's quite familiar to Eagles fans. Sigh. Reading Gang Green Nation sounds really familiar - lots of looking on the bright side, lots of "we had a great season," lots of "we're contenders," lots of "other teams fear us now," etc. That's familiar to Eagles fans, too. Whatever. Show me the Lombardis. Oh yeah - that would be the Steelers all over. Sigh again.

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2010 Conference Championship Picks

Packers at Bears: These are well matched teams. The Bears look terrific. Mike Martz has got the Jay Cutler attitude problem AND interception problem under control. Brian Urlacher seems rejuvenated, and Julius Peppers is playing great. He played great in Carolina, too, of course, it's just that the rest of his was a mess. Charles Tillman creates turnovers the way American Idol creates crap one-hit-wonder pop stars. Matt Forte provides a significant ground attack, which helps keep Cutler from trying to do too much. And two words that strike fear in the heart of every special teams coach in the NFL: Devin Hester.

On the other hand, the Packers are heading for their 3rd road game in a row. They're the #6 seed, and they just pulled off the big upset win over the Falcons a week ago. Their issues with injury this season have been well documented, well, everywhere. And they're playing a divisional rival, which is always just that much harder.

But I'm still picking the Packers. And not just because they took out an Andy Reid team in the first round of the playoffs for only the second time in his 12 seasons as head coach. Aaron Rodgers is on FIRE and not only can't you stop Clay Matthews, you really can't even hope to contain him. Donald Driver and Greg Jennings are going to have to play a lot better than they did on January 2, though.

Jets at Steelers: The Jets are looking surprisingly good at this stage, too. Mark Sanchez seems to be over his sophomore slump from earlier in the season. The secondary combo of Revis and Cromartie is as good as it's supposed to be. Santonio Holmes has his playoff face on, making "Did I just see that?" catches every time you turn around. LaDanian Tomlinson is playing like he's 21, not 31. Jason Taylor, too.

Wait - is Troy Polamalu playing? Yes? Steelers.

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Sunday Schedule: Sunday, January 23, 2011

Can you believe it's Conference Championship Sunday already? Where did the 2010 season go? Seems like just yesterday I was at checking out the talent at training camp and getting ready to kick into high gear here at StN.  Now? Only 4 more games and we close the book on 2010. And with the NFL labor situation looking increasingly bleak, we might be seeing our last football for quite a while. Too bad the Iggles couldn't pull out the miracle run this year - they might've gotten to reign as Super Bowl champs for two years.

Anyway, the games this weekend are:

3 pm: Packers at Bears
6:30 pm: Jets at Steelers

Menu? Chef Spouse is pulling out all the stops - ribs, mac-n-cheese, and collards. Soul food heaven, baby. Bring something that will go with, and we'll see you Sunday!

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2009 Conference Championships Recap

Conference Championships, Sunday, January 24, 2010

In attendance: Chef Spouse, Shoegal, Chef Shorty (who was here to learn about football for his cub scout patches - really!), and his mom, The Beekeeper

Menu: Soul food extravaganza! Ribs, mac-n-cheese, collards, chipotle squash, corn bread, sazeracs, brownies. URP!

Colts over Jets.

Well, yes. Philly.com did a fun "10 things about the..." for each of the games. I still think that the thing that was the most amazing about this game was that the Jets managed to hang in there for the first half. Hell, they were leading at halftime. Of course, they didn't score another point. But still, rookie QB? Not bad.

Loved the self-possession of Sanchez, who rushed everyone to the LOS and QB sneaked after the big did-he-or-didn't-he? catch by Jericho Cotchery in the first quarter. That is some heads-up playing by the rookie. I also loved the fact that Rex Ryan got [this] close to punching one of the zebras on the non-roughing call Sanchez totally deserved. Buddy Ryan was a wild ride for Philly. Hope NYC is ready for and enjoys what's coming.

Did you notice that the Peytonator goes down if anyone even gets near him (which is rare to begin with)? Yeah, it's probably smart because it keeps him healthy. But if any Philly QB ever tried it, he'd be tarred, feathered, and run out of town in a hurry. Can you imagine the pissing and moaning if McNabb EVER dared to go down without at least 3 guys hanging off him and 2 broken bones?

Saints over Vikings.

WHO DAT?

The Saints are going to their first Super Bowl ever. The Times Picayune is running a "what excuse did you use to get out of work today?" poll. LOVE!

The Saints really did not play well. Fortunately, the Vikings turned the ball over five times. FIVE. It's not possible to win if you turn the ball over that often (unless the other team turns it over more). Particularly since Brett Favre pulled a typical and choked, throwing a pick when the Vikings could have won it with a late-game field goal without extra yards. Your kicker's name is Ryan LONGWELL for chrissakes! Although a bunch of people have been all, "Favre should've run!" Um, he wasn't ABLE to run at that point. I think his leg would have fallen off. For realz. By the end of the game, Brett Favre looked like, to quote Keith Olbermann's favorite phrase, a big bag full of mashed up Brett Favre. Now the retirement watch begins. Again. A little tip? GO AWAY.

Also, someone should probably glue some footballs to Adrian Peterson's hands for about, oh, the next month or so. "You can eat when you can learn not to drop the damn ball, donkey!"

$20 says Favre retires, then ends up QBing the Bears next year.

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Sunday Schedule: January 24, 2010

The game times are FINALLY posted. Sheesh!

3 pm - Colts/Jets
6:30 pm - Saints/Vikings

Chef Spouse is planning a soul food extravaganza - ribs, mac & cheese, collards. YUMMY! Bring something to go with.

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2009 Conference Playoffs Picks

Saints/Vikings - Everyone's all "Brett Favre's got the experience" and "Jared Allen's a monster" and "Adrian Peterson's occasionally able to hang on to the ball" and whatnot. But they're playing the NFC Championship Game in the Superdome for the first time EVER. And the Saints have in some cases almost single-handedly been holding Crescent City together since Hurricane Katrina. And they are NOT going to let their fans down now.

To quote my friend Joanne:

Our Breesus, who art in N'awlins, hallowed be thy name.Thy bowl will come; it will be won, in Miami as it is in the dome. Give us this Sunday, our weekly win. Give us touchdown passes, but do not let others pass against us. Lead us not into frustration, but deliver us to the Super Bowl, for thine is the MVP....The best... of the NFC,and the glory of the Fleur de Lis ... now and forever. Amen. Go Saints!

Colts/Jets - It's been fun, Rex, but the ride's over now. The Peytonator's going to the Super Bowl and he's taking his team and rookie head coach with him. Resistance is futile (to mix my movie references for a minute).

Edited Saturday, January 23 to add: In this morning's WaPo, Wilbon pointed out another reason the Colts will win - because it's PEYTON, if the Jets D so much as BREATHES on him, they will be penalized the likes of which we have never seen. Ponder that, knuckleheads.

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