2011 Week 2 Recap

Eagles at Falcons, Sunday, September 18, 2011

In attendance: Chef Spouse, Shoegal, and her new beau Oscar

Menu: grilled cheese and cream of tomato soup. Fall seems to have arrived in DC.

Stud of the week: how could it be anyone other than my boy Trent Cole? 5 tackles, an assist, and a sack. And he spent the whole damn game in the Falcons backfield. He's a beast!

I also have to give a major shout out to Mike Kafka. When Vick went down on what was just a truly unfortunate play - no cheap shot or anything, just bad luck - Kafka was in a tough spot. I actually yelled: "Our season has become Kafka-esque!" And while the coaches had to simplify the playbook down to about 1 page, still, Kafka, had the team in position to win the game if it wasn't for Jeremy Maclin's inexplicable 4th down drop. Gotta make that catch, son. Also, Vince Young? Man up with that hammy or move on, yo. We need a REAL backup, not someone who's limin' on the sideline when the shit's going down.

What a frustrating game! The secondary shut down the Falcons' receivers - with the exception of Tony Gonzales, for whom they had NO answer. The lineman blew it up into the Falcons' backfield most of the night - Matty Ice must've been having nightmares about Trent Cole, Cullen Jenkins and Jason Babin all last night - but the linebackers got repeatedly manhandled as Michael Turner ran wild, particularly in the 4th quarter.

The offense put up 400+ yards, but also committed 3 turnovers. Jeremy Maclin had a great game, even coming back from a ridiculous cheap shot by asshole Falcon Dunta Robinson, but then he also had that inexplicable 4th-and-4 drop. Andy had one great challenge, and a TOTAL whiff on the non-interception by Kelvin Hayden where intended receiver "Hands" Avant begged him to throw the red hanky.

And the red zone defense was terrible - the Falcons were 5 for 5 in the red zone. C'mon man! That is NOT a potential playoff team.

Nor is having ONE great quarter. Scoring 21 unanswered points to take the lead is fantastic - but not if you can't hold it. I know, I know - Vick concussion, Kafka, drops, etc. Let's be honest: the defense looked gassed at the end, and the Falcons turned the Eagles' typical game plan against them - get a lead and run, run, run once the D gets tired.

Why is it always the same? Amazing talent, lack of consistent focus. Sigh.

And let's talk about Dunta Robinson for a minute. I don't know if this is typical behavior, but I do know in the Eagles' last two games against the Falcons, Dunta Robinson has clearly been headhunting whichever Eagles offensive player is having the best game. NFC South fans: is this normal? Regardless, he's a dirty, cheap player who should've been expelled from the game and suspended afterwards.

Around the rest of the NFL...I got killed in my picks this week.

Lions over Chiefs: Team of destiny! What did I tell you? And Matthew Stafford has made it through TWO games without getting injured! That might be more than we can say about Todd Haley, who may have to enter the witness protection program.

Bills over Raiders: OK, they've beat the Chiefs and the Raiders, so it's not like they've taken out the Pats and the Jets (who are both, sadly for the Bills, in their division), but the Bills are 2-0. That may be the biggest surprise of the first two weeks.

Titans over Ravens: Are we sure that was the same team that destroyed the Steelers last week? Like, did the actual Ravens accidentally go to the wrong stadium? And that was some completely other team in their jerseys? Because that was bizarre.

Jets over Jags: Well, yes. I'm amazed the Jags successfully executed a field goal. And given how bad the Colts look, they might not even be the worst team in their division this year. Speaking of...

Browns over Colts: Think you feel bad today after the Eagles' loss last night? Check out Stampede Blue - those folks are suicidal. I'm guessing Peyton Manning will go on IR within the next week or two, and then Jim Caldwell, Chris Polian and Tom Telesco can start looking for a replacement for Kerry Collins.

Redskins over Cardinals: Great game, too! As a colleague who's a Redskins fan pointed out to me, eventually Rex Grossman will remember that he's, well, Rex Grossman. But for now, the Redskins look vastly improved in 2011. Maybe Mike Shanahan does still have a few tricks in his bag.

Bucs over Vikings: As I'd predicted, Big5 did have a better game this week, but it still wasn't enough. I have a bad feeling about this.

Packers over Panthers: It's official. Cam Newton is the real deal. I know, I know, the Panthers are 0-2. But these two losses aren't like ANY of their losses last year. There's hope in Carolina today. Mark my words - they'll be a contender in that division within the next few years.

Saints over Bears: The Saints are almost as hard to beat at home as the Falcons. And Jay Cutler apparently woke up Sunday morning and remembered that he's Jay Cutler. The 6 sacks the Saints recorded didn't hurt, either. Well, in the metaphorical sense - I'm sure Jay felt like ass today.

Steelers over Seahawks: Yeah...Tavaris Jackson...yeah...From the NFL.com recap, the Seahawks didn't have a SINGLE offensive snap in Steelers' territory until the 4th quarter. Yikes.

Cowboys over 49ers: I tend to think Tony Romo is over-rated and that blowing it under pressure is FAR more his style than coming up clutch, but I have to give him credit for coming back yesterday afternoon with a punctured lung. Then again, it might be that looking over his shoulder and seeing a solid backup in Jon Kitna has him worried about losing his starting job. Also, WTF was up with all the Cowboys fans in Candlestick Park? This isn't Phillies versus Nats in DC, y'all!

Pats over Chargers: The Pats are looking scary-good this year, at least so far. And that really galls me.

Broncos over Bengals: And Kyle Orton is spared another week. You have heard about the billboard thing, right? That's gotta hurt.

Texans over Dolphins: Yeah, baby! I knew it would be their year eventually - all it took was Peyton going out.

On MNF, the Rams just turned a pick and a great offensive series into...a field goal. Not a good sign. Then again, Eli's making that face a lot this evening - you know the one I mean. So it might not be over for the Rams. (Written too soon as the Rams muff a punt return - and a week of great football, even with an Eagles loss, prepares to go out with a whimper.)


 

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2010 Week 10 Recap

Eagles at Redskins, Monday, November 15, 2010

In attendance: On Sunday, me, Shoegal, and Chef Spouse's friend The Underwear Model (yes really, and he also looks a LOT like Mike Tomlin. Only younger and more ripped.)  MNF? Cool Web Dude, Hottie Web Chick's brother, Chef Spouse, me, and a sell-out crowd at FedEx Field.

Menu: chili, jalapeno cheese scones and margaritas. Shoegal brought salad fixin's so we'd have at least one really healthy thing.

Stud of the Week: Michael Vick. No contest. Threw for 4 TDs and over 300 yards, ran for 2 TDs and 80 yards. He was out of control good. Scary good (well, at least if you're a Redskin).  If you look up "off the hook" in the dictionary, you'll see his picture.

So I've been getting emails and texts all day to the effect of "I can't wait to see your recap of the game!"

Here it is:

Redskins get WHOMPED. Film at 11.
 
Seriously, what else is there to say?

Eagles first series? Well, it wasn't a series - it was one play, an 88 yard TD hookup between Vick and DeSean Jackson.

Redskins first series? Three and out.

Eagles first quarter? 4 TDs.

Redskins first quarter? No first downs.

As Cool Web Dude observed: the Redskins scored all their points in junk time. Which was pretty much the last 3 quarters of the game.

I don't know what happened, but the Eagles were BALLIN'.

Actually, I might know what happened (although I didn't see it, because it takes a million years to get anywhere in DC during rush hour, and it takes two million years to get to FedEx, so we just got to our seats in time to see the DJax TD) - apparently during warmups, there was some jawing and a little fracas that got the Eagles' dander up. So I think what we learned last night is that you don't want to see these guys pissed.

The other big story of the night was, of course, McNabb's new contract. Although additional details have come out at this point that make it not quite as jaw-dropping as it initially looked (they can cut him after this year and only own him another $3M in addition to his salary for the year), it is a clear demonstration of organizational schizophrenia. Two weeks ago, Kyle Shanahan benches him for Rex f-ing Grossman, Pops Shanahan spends two weeks coming up with increasingly implausible cover for Junior, then they write DMac a $78M "I'm sorry" check. Yeah, for Dan Snyder, that amounts to the change in the sofa cushions, but still, if you manage to figure out what the Redskins are up to, do let me know, because I don't have a clue. 

Around the rest of the NFL:

The System really let me down this week. In other news, there were a fair amount of upsets. Those two may be related. I only got 5 right. Yikes. I guess anyone can have an off week.

Falcons over Ravens: 9 times out of 10, if I offered you odds on the Ravens D being able to protect a lead with 1:05 left, you would be safe betting the mortgage on the Ravens. But not Thursday night. The big question now is whether or not they continue to be a dominant defense. It kills me when the Eagles let players go who are maybe just starting down the slope. But they do. And they don't end up with legends that are losing it. I'm looking at you, Ray Lewis.

Bills over Lions: Well, we knew they couldn't lose forever.

Bears over Vikings: I know I've been looking for this for a long time, but is it just me, or does Brett Favre look TOTALLY done at this point? Too bad he might take Brad Childress down with him. And he was a mess Sunday - three picks. Return of the old Brett. Not sure how dumping Randy Moss makes you better, particularly when you're #1 wideout is out for the season. And apparently someone forgot to remind the Vikings that it's still really not a great plan to kick to Devin Hester, particularly if your coverage team is completely asleep.

Jets over Browns: But it took overtime. Again. Finding a way to win is good. Taking a full extra quarter of football to do it week after week is not, particularly if you hope to go deep into the playoffs, which Rex's guys certainly do. The ESPN Sunday NFL Countdown team all gave their "bold" predictions for the second half of the season. I can't remember which one, but one of them (maybe Ditka?) predicted the Browns would win the AFC North. They certainly aren't as bad as their 3-6 record, but win the division? Well, it's certainly a bold prediction. One could also go with "crazy." Berman's "bold" pick? Same as always - Eagles in the Super Bowl.

Colts over Bengals: The Bengals may have Batman and Robin, but I guess that makes Peyton Manning The Joker. Or maybe Commissioner Gordon. Not 100% up on my Batman mythology. Anyhoodle, the Bengals are not good this year. The Colts aren't quite themselves either, but the Bengals just suck.

Jaguars over Texans: C'mon guys! You're killing me! Didn't you just hear me say that the Colts aren't as strong as usual? This could be your year. Only you have to actually win some games, for chrissakes!

Dolphins over Titans: Told you. Also, Randy Moss is, like, on the back of a milk carton at this point. I know all that moving around has to be confusing (literally - I'll bet he hasn't gotten his copy of GQ in months), but where did he go? The Dolphins are in trouble, though, as BOTH the Chads went down, leaving them with Tyler Thigpen. No, he's not retired. Yet. At least they had someone to go to - the Titans had to put an injured Vince Young back in because they've got a guy named "Rusty Smith" as their 3rd. Who? Exactly.

Buccaneers over Panthers: There are an awful lot of teams with decent records at this point (basically everyone bunched up at 6-3, which is a LOT of teams), and we're all sitting around going, "Yeah, but who have they beat?' The Bucs are one of those, but then again, this seems to be one of those years. Which means the playoffs should be wild.

Broncos over Chiefs: Just when I start believing in the Chiefs, they completely forget to show up. Maybe it's time to get on the Raiders' bandwagon? They are leading the division - for the moment.

Seahawks over Cardinals: Yawn. OT game? Still yawn. The NFC West also sucks.
 
Cowboys over Giants: As The Underwear Model (Who is also an Eagles fan. Did I mention that? He really is yummy...) observed, a Cowboys win helps the Eagles. I still couldn't root for them, but he's right. Unless of course, this either pisses off the Giants so much they stomp the Eagles next week and/or this is the beginning of a Cowboys' resurgence, just before the Eagles have to face them twice. But I'm hoping for the Cowboys are too far gone to save and this is the beginning of the Eagles resuming their rightful place at the top of the NFC East. I hope.

49ers over Rams: Remember that whole "NFC West sucks" thing? Applies here, too. Also, I think Alex Smith is done. Also, Sam Bradford, despite this loss, is still in contention for rookie of the year, at least in my book. I think the Rams have already won more games this season than about the last 3 years combined.

Patriots over Steelers: What happened to the Steelers? They completely fell apart - and in prime time. I initially ended this recap: "How embarrassing!" But after MNF, I'm guessing the Steelers are mostly thinking, "Thank GOD and Vince Lombardi we're not the Redskins!" today.

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2010 Week 8 Recap

Eagles bye week, Sunday, October 31, 2010 


In attendance: just me and Chef Spouse. And NINE MILLION trick-or-treaters. Seriously, I've never seen so many in my life. We gave away every bit of candy we had the in house before 9 pm, at which point it became "turn out the lights and hide" versus "start handing out potatoes." We opted for #1.

Menu: shrimp etouffee and absinthe frappes. Since we couldn't be in NOLA for the weekend, we decided to pretend we were.

Stud of the week: my system for my picks. With the MNF Texans/Colts matchup in progress, I'm 11 for 12 on the week. No, I did not use a Magic 8 Ball. I was going to tell you how I did it, but Chef Spouse said I should preserve the mystery. So you'll just have to marvel.

In other news, it was the week of 2 points:  safeties, made two point conversion attempts, missed two point conversion attempts, you name it. If it was possible to get 2 points in there some way, teams did it. Even when it made no sense, like early in the 3rd quarter.

On to the results:

49ers over Broncos: I called it. Also, I think Mike Singletary still thinks his 2-6 team is going to the Super Bowl, God love him.

Jaguars over Cowboys: I called it. So one of the questions of the week is will there be a coaching change in Dallas? Amazingly, enough other wackadoo stuff has happened that it's barely in the top 5 though. The thing about switching coaches DURING the season is that it's a pretty dicey proposition - if the Cowboys were going to do it, they should've done it a month ago, before their bye week. I think they're pretty much stuck with Wade for the rest of the season, although I'd be shocked if he's still coaching in 2011. I've heard Cowher and Gruden both floated as possible replacements, but I don't think either of them is dumb enough to want to work for Jerry Jones. Also, Gruden gets credit as a coach he doesn't deserve - he won the Super Bowl with Tony Dungy's team. And Cowher has repeatedly said he doesn't want to leave North Carolina until his kids are grown, which to me indicates that his only possible coaching destination, at least for a while, would be the Panthers. Anyway, moving on...

Dolphins over Bengals: I called it. But TO got two TDs, so he may not even be aware the Bengals lost.
 
Chiefs over Bills: I called it. Won in OT on a field goal that literally went through the uprights as time expired, the Chiefs leave the Eagles still holding the dubious distinction of the last tie.

Lions over Redskins: I called it. I don't know what reality Mike Shanahan lives in where Rex Grossman is a better option than Donovan McNabb to run the two minute offense down by 5. Even weirder? Now Shanny's changed his tune to "McNabb's too fat to run the two minute offense." RIIIIIIIGHT. All I can think is that he's thinking, "Well, after McNabb got benched against the Ravens in 2008, he played like a house afire for the rest of the season, taking the Eagles to another NFC Championship game that they only lost because them damn defense fell apart." Can I point on that on his VERY FIRST play from scrimmage, Sexy Rexy got sacked, coughed up the ball, and the Lions put the game away? And this is supposed to be coaching genius?

Rams over Panthers: I called it. The Panthers stink this year. Hmmm, about Bill Cowher....

Packers over Jets: This is the one I missed, although in my defense, I did say that according to my system, it was a push. I went with the home team. Oops. Who would've guessed it would be the PACK who pitched a shut out?

Chargers over Titans: I called it, even though I could hardly believe it. The Chargers are probably gearing up to pull their annual, "You gave us up for dead. But wait! We're not! We're resurrecting your hopes! Until the playoffs. Then we really are dead."

Patriots over Vikings: I called it. You did hear that Randy Moss got released today? Dude hadn't even had time to get his cable hooked up yet! His post-game press conference love-fest for the Pats sure didn't help things, particularly after he decided that he was going to WATCH the passes, but he sure as hell wasn't planning to CATCH them, but something more must've happened. Personally? I think it's some sort of Belichick plot, and somehow Randy Moss will end up back in New England after stiffing the Vikings for a few mil. What do you have against Minnesota, Bill?

Bucs over Cardinals: I called it. The Bucs are quietly sitting at 5-2. Did you know?

Raiders over Seahawks: I called it. Looks who learned how to win games! Speculation is rampant, in the wake of The Benching, that McNabb will be somewhere not DC next year. Oakland's been floated as a possibility. Think that would make Jason Campbell go postal?

Saints over Steelers: Another one I called. Believe in the system. Trust the system. Love the system. What system? Can't tell you. But let's see how I fare this coming week....

(Also, at the moment, the Colts are up 14-0.)

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2010 Week 4 Recap

Eagles v. Redskins, Sunday, October 3, 2010

In attendance: HUGE crowd. Chef Spouse, Shoegal, Black & Gold Raquette (newbie), Tweety Monster, Fellow Eagles Maniac, McLovin, KiKi & the fam (newbie), Wingman, Mr. Wingman, and Theater Geek, Hon (newbie). It was nice of everyone to show up and try to distract me from the horror on the field.

Menu: guacamole and chips, cheese and crackers, fruit, veg and dip, and Chef Spouse's amazing guacamole. And many, many watermelon margaritas.

Stud of the game: I can't say Donovan, can I? Then my second choice would have to be LeSean McCoy who, although he didn't get in the endzone, had 174 yards combined rushing and receiving...up until he broke his rib. DJax? Nothing. Maclin? Nothing? Celek? The TD grab, but otherwise nothing.

We were just outplayed, out coached, and out passioned. You would not believe how many player interviews there have been in DC about how much the whole team wanted to win this for McNabb. And Shanny gamed planned what we've all been screaming for AR to do for years - not place the ENTIRE success of the offense on Donny's arm.

Speaking of Big Red, is Andy Reid's main problem as a coach that he just can't make quick decisions? Case in point 1: the timeout debacle at the end of the first half. Case in point 2: the LeSean McCoy fumble that was originally not counted as a fumble, until we didn't get the next play off and Shanny had time to challenge - and win.

And penalties! Why do we ALWAYS have so many PENALTIES? How can the guys - both coaches and players - not understand how that just DESTROYS drives? And at home! We don't even have the hostile crowd noise excuse.

Our special teams continues to be the kind of special that involves the short bus.

And the thing that really worried me was that after Vick went down and K2 went in with a chance to win the game and earn the starting job back, he mostly just looked lost.

At the end, we were left hoping DMac would throw a pick. And considering that he'd already thrown one, which is rare enough, it would've been more likely for Sasquatch and Nessie to show up at my front door toting seven layer dip. That is not a game plan.

And now Vick is injured and it was on a play when he didn't get into the endzone in the first place AND the whole play got called back because of a (say it with me, kids) PENALTY.

I quote DJax: “We’ve just got to find different ways of getting open and sitting in the holes, we’re not always going to be able to be running down the field and scoring these long touchdowns.”

Except that's pretty much been the sum total of the offense for the past 11 years. "O-line, you stay in to block. Everyone else, go long. Donovan, bomb it on down there." And it mostly worked, most of the time.

Sigh.

On the up side, I hear Jeff Garcia's available.

Around the rest of the NFL...

Jets over Bills: Raise your hand if this surprises you. (cue the tumbleweeds and coyotes)

Browns over Bengals: Of course, TO got a TD, so as far as he's concerned, HE won. In other news, I think Carson Palmer may be pretty much done. And the Browns actually won a game! I'm guessing they should continue to sit Jake Delhomme indefinitely.

Ravens over Steelers: Helluva game. Black & Gold Raquette about had a heart attack. Every time I start thinking Joe Flacco's not that special, he pulls off a game winning drive in about 35 seconds. And this was his first win in the Burgh.

Broncos over Titans: Do the Broncos even have any running backs on the roster at this point? You wouldn't know it from the way they're playing. And who knew Kyle Orton had those kind of throws in him?

Packers over Lions: But just barely. The Lions do seem to be improving. Now if they could just improve enough to, you know, actually WIN some games. Still, good effort!

Falcons over 49ers: Also just barely. We were watching Ravens/Steelers on the TV with Panthers/Saints on the computer, but it looked like the 49ers were going to walk away with this one...at least in the first quarter. I like Singletary, and he's fun to watch, but this team has got to pull it together and fast.

Saints over Panthers: Barely, and it didn't look like the Saints were going to pull it off. I guess every team needs a good scare now and again.

Rams over Seahawks: Hm. Are the Rams better, or are the Seahawks who we thought they were (prior to those 2 wins)? At least the Rams didn't let them off the hook.

Jaguars over Colts: 59 yard field goal at the buzzer! Oh man, we've been there...

Texans over Raiders: Notice who's atop the AFC South so far? Told you so!

Chargers over Cardinals: Whatever. I'm still picking against the Chargers at home every time they're blacked out. Punk-ass fans.  This is FOOTBALL, bitches!

Giants over Bears: The Bears STUNK IT UP. Cutler got sacked 9 times. Oh man, we're been there, too. I guess this Halloween you should show up at Jay Cutler's house dressed as Osi Umenyiora. It's amazing he still knows his name and where he lives.

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