It's a Madhouse! A madhouse, I tell you!

As I predicted (What you don't follow me on Twitter? What are you waiting for? An invitation? Consider yourself invited), free agency is now pretty much spinning into barely controlled chaos. I quite literally can't even keep up with what's going on with the Eagles, much less the entire league. I have a day job, here, people. So I'm cheating and sending you other places for free agency news.

• Tommy Lawlor is covering all the trades at Iggles Blitz and all the rumors on Twitter (yes, you should follow him, too)
• Bleeding Green Nation is blogging at a blistering pace, covering all the rumors and including periodic open threads where you can share your thoughts on who's going to end up where - they also have a sidebar ticker of news from the other teams' SportsBlogNation blogs
• Bird's Fan is also doing a good job of periodically (like "multiple times a day") summarizing all the trades and rumors of trades (seriously, am I the only one who works here?)
• Even The 700 Level has taken a time-out from Phillies coverage to talk Kolb, Cromartie and McNabb (and while we're on the subject, two SIXTH ROUND picks?!? C'mon man!)
• Inside the Iggles wants us to pick up Albert Haynesworth, which just...no. No. A thousand times no, Fat Albert.
• At least the Favre rumor looks to have been bogus. Thank God.

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2010 Week 16 Recap

Eagles v. Vikings, Tuesday, December 28, 2010

In attendance: Just me & Chef Spouse for the historic Tuesday Night Football game

Menu: Chinese, because I was running around like a crazy person trying to get theater tickets exchanged while the box office was closed for the holiday on Monday, so there was no time to plan anything else.

Stud of the week: ...

...

...

Damn. Even David Akers missed a field goal. Even Sav Rocca had a bad punt.

I think I'm going to have to go with Chad Hall who, while he didn't do anything particularly amazing, did manage to earn himself a place in training camp then on the practice squad then on special teams by sheer heart. We're probably not going to be talking about retiring his number in 10 years or anything, but you gotta love the little guy anyway.

Man, did I get killed in my picks this week. And not just on this game.

I also have a confession to make. I didn't watch the end of the game. About mid-way through the  4th quarter, the following things happened in quick succession:

1. Video paean to Brett Favre. WHO WASN'T EVEN PLAYING.
2. Cris Collinsworth started in on how Asante Samuel should have been ejected for helmet hit on Sidney Rice. Leaving aside the fact that Rice was the one who ducked his head and that both of them walked away from it, what is up Collinsworth's ass with regards to the Eagles this year? Is he like a huge dog lover or something? Even PETA's Ingrid Newkirk is cutting Vick some slack these days (although she continues to entertain by comparing dog fighting to pedophilia. Um, Ingrid? No. Just no.). Get over it, man.
3. The defense couldn't come up with a crucial 3rd down stop.

At that point, I announced that some of us have to go to work in the morning (Chef Spouse has mostly been working from home this week), this whole thing was just pissing me off, and I was going to bed.

The offensive line couldn't protect Vick. And he couldn't run away like usual. Apparently, he has a quad injury, and watching him last night, you could tell something wasn't right. In the second half, and after pitching a first half shut out (that fumble recovery TD wasn't THEIR fault), the defense couldn't make key stops. They'd managed to virtually shut down Ahmad Bradshaw AND Brandon Jacobs last week, but then they couldn't handle Adrian Peterson. Or Joe Web. Also, DeSean, don't run your route and then just stand there. The defensive secondary will jump you every time, and you're not tall enough to compete for jump balls. And did anyone notice that the only thing that seemed to be working on offense was running Shady? SO WHY IN THE HELL DIDN'T THEY DO IT MORE?

Just an overall sloppy game. The team played like they'd had too much Christmas turkey. Or, to quote Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "as if they had fat Polish sausages tied to their fingers."

Thanks to the always-sensible BGN for talking me down off the ledge.

The key point is this: 3 games in 12 days. And the Eagles could've gone all out last night and Sunday against the Cowboys...and still missed the #2 seed. I'm hoping it really is better this way. At least we know most of the starters will get next Sunday off and get a chance to heal up and prepare for the wildcard game. (Well, they better. If Andy Reid plays the starters Sunday, he's going to need to hire bodyguards to protect him from the irate fan base. Big ones.)

But to all the people who've been talking Super Bowl, you might want to check yourself. By my calculations and projecting/guessing just a little, that will require a home win against the #6 Packers (who, you might remember, almost beat the Pats with their backup QB), a road win against the #2 Bears (and remember what that field was like the LAST time we played there), and then a road win against the Falcons (and both of those teams have SIGNIFICANT home field advantages) or a home win against the Saints (not impossible, but then again, Drew Brees). I'm not saying there's no way, but it's pretty damn improbable, particularly considering that we got whupped by a team that was 5-9 going into last night's game and was led by a rookie QB and an interim head coach.

Unless last night was all a calculated plan, in which Andy Reid, knowing the #2 seed was far from assured, intentionally had the guys play crappy so that next week wouldn't matter, he could rest the starters without criticism, and he could lull the entire rest of the NFC playoff teams into believing that the Eagles aren't a threat. In which case, it worked perfectly, because no one looking at the team that played last night would consider them a threat to anyone.

Also, I think the Vikes might have the answer to their QB question.

Around the rest of the NFL...

I was not the only one who got a lot of picks wrong. Wacky week.

Steelers over Panthers: OK, this one went as expected. Turns out, the Steelers can't win without Troy Polamalu...unless they're playing the Panthers. In which case they probably only need about 12-15 guys total.

Cardinals over Cowboys:  Who misses an extra point? Seriously? Not that I'm sad the Cowboys lost (other than it's not good for my picks stats), but C'mon Man!

Pats over Bills: Another one that went as expected. Lots of people have mentioned to me that they would love to see another Eagles/Pats Super Bowl. All I know is that, if that happens, the result better be different or I'm going to start taking hostages.

Bears over Jets: I can't decide if the Jets are a good team that's maddeningly inconsistent, or a bad team that manages to overperform on a regular basis. I know what I think of the Bears - they're damn good. Cutler seems to have found the system, the coaches, and the team that will help him start living up to his potential, Devin Hester remains a major threat on returns, and if the Brian Urlacher/Julius Peppers combo doesn't scare you, you might want to check for a pulse. I don't want to see the Giants again in the playoffs, but I'm not very enthusiastic about seeing the Bears again, either.

Ravens over Browns: The AFC playoff picture is coming into focus, with most of the in/out teams decided, but the seeding is still almost totally open. In week 16. LOVE!

Redskins over Jaguars: OK, had I known that MJD was going to be out, I might've picked the Redskins. Right. Who am I kidding? Did the Jags not know that they had to win to keep pace with the Colts? In the meantime, Redskins fans seem shocked that a bunch of no-name young guys won a game. Because that whole "overpaid guy at the end of his career" thing has been working out so well for them. Here's a tip: those young guys care more, because that game was their job interview to play somewhere, if not in DC. And they haven't already made their fortunes. Also they're far less likely to be gassed by the 4th quarter.

Chiefs over the Titans: Taking care of business, and winning the AFC West. Wow. Chiefs. Not Chargers. Chiefs. How weird is that?

Lions over Dolphins: Did I mention that I think the Lions are on the cusp of being really good? Not that a win over the Dolphins is necessarily indicative of that, but they are.

Rams over 49ers: Did you hear that Mike Singletary got fired? He and Dennis Green should totally hook up and do an NFL-only version of PTI for the NFL Network. Genius!

Bengals over Chargers: Did the Chargers not realize that they had to win this game to stay in playoff contention? Guess not.

Broncos over Texans: Oh, former Team of Destiny. You let me down this year. And I'm not even one of your actual fans. Fortunately, they seem possessed of the same spirit as the Saints fans back in the Aints days. Either that, or they're all hammered all the time.

Colts over Raiders: The Colts also had to win, and this was a close, close game. Which makes sense given that the math said the Raiders would win. But never count Peyton Manning out. Well, until the playoffs. Although I suspect not hitting cruise control by Thanksgiving will actually help the Colts in January.

Packers over Giants: And the December melt down continues. Adding insult to injury, the Giants are stuck in Wisconsin (as of Monday night, when I'm writing up this part of the recap). Given how badly things have gone for them in the past two weeks, they might just want to stay there. I think there's a real possibility the Redskins beat the Giants next week. Plus, cheese!

Bucs over Seahawks: So the Seahawks and the Rams will be playing for the NFC West on Sunday Night football next week. And if the Seahawks win (say it with me), the West will be won by a team under .500. Ugh.

Saints over Falcons: A great road win by the Saints secures at worst the #5 wildcard slot and gives them an outside shot at the #1 seed. OK, the Falcons would have to lose to the Panthers for that to happen, and that is quite literally impossible, but the #5 seed is like getting a bye week, since the Saints will play either the Rams or the Seahawks in the Superdome.

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2009 Conference Championships Recap

Conference Championships, Sunday, January 24, 2010

In attendance: Chef Spouse, Shoegal, Chef Shorty (who was here to learn about football for his cub scout patches - really!), and his mom, The Beekeeper

Menu: Soul food extravaganza! Ribs, mac-n-cheese, collards, chipotle squash, corn bread, sazeracs, brownies. URP!

Colts over Jets.

Well, yes. Philly.com did a fun "10 things about the..." for each of the games. I still think that the thing that was the most amazing about this game was that the Jets managed to hang in there for the first half. Hell, they were leading at halftime. Of course, they didn't score another point. But still, rookie QB? Not bad.

Loved the self-possession of Sanchez, who rushed everyone to the LOS and QB sneaked after the big did-he-or-didn't-he? catch by Jericho Cotchery in the first quarter. That is some heads-up playing by the rookie. I also loved the fact that Rex Ryan got [this] close to punching one of the zebras on the non-roughing call Sanchez totally deserved. Buddy Ryan was a wild ride for Philly. Hope NYC is ready for and enjoys what's coming.

Did you notice that the Peytonator goes down if anyone even gets near him (which is rare to begin with)? Yeah, it's probably smart because it keeps him healthy. But if any Philly QB ever tried it, he'd be tarred, feathered, and run out of town in a hurry. Can you imagine the pissing and moaning if McNabb EVER dared to go down without at least 3 guys hanging off him and 2 broken bones?

Saints over Vikings.

WHO DAT?

The Saints are going to their first Super Bowl ever. The Times Picayune is running a "what excuse did you use to get out of work today?" poll. LOVE!

The Saints really did not play well. Fortunately, the Vikings turned the ball over five times. FIVE. It's not possible to win if you turn the ball over that often (unless the other team turns it over more). Particularly since Brett Favre pulled a typical and choked, throwing a pick when the Vikings could have won it with a late-game field goal without extra yards. Your kicker's name is Ryan LONGWELL for chrissakes! Although a bunch of people have been all, "Favre should've run!" Um, he wasn't ABLE to run at that point. I think his leg would have fallen off. For realz. By the end of the game, Brett Favre looked like, to quote Keith Olbermann's favorite phrase, a big bag full of mashed up Brett Favre. Now the retirement watch begins. Again. A little tip? GO AWAY.

Also, someone should probably glue some footballs to Adrian Peterson's hands for about, oh, the next month or so. "You can eat when you can learn not to drop the damn ball, donkey!"

$20 says Favre retires, then ends up QBing the Bears next year.

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2009 Conference Playoffs Picks

Saints/Vikings - Everyone's all "Brett Favre's got the experience" and "Jared Allen's a monster" and "Adrian Peterson's occasionally able to hang on to the ball" and whatnot. But they're playing the NFC Championship Game in the Superdome for the first time EVER. And the Saints have in some cases almost single-handedly been holding Crescent City together since Hurricane Katrina. And they are NOT going to let their fans down now.

To quote my friend Joanne:

Our Breesus, who art in N'awlins, hallowed be thy name.Thy bowl will come; it will be won, in Miami as it is in the dome. Give us this Sunday, our weekly win. Give us touchdown passes, but do not let others pass against us. Lead us not into frustration, but deliver us to the Super Bowl, for thine is the MVP....The best... of the NFC,and the glory of the Fleur de Lis ... now and forever. Amen. Go Saints!

Colts/Jets - It's been fun, Rex, but the ride's over now. The Peytonator's going to the Super Bowl and he's taking his team and rookie head coach with him. Resistance is futile (to mix my movie references for a minute).

Edited Saturday, January 23 to add: In this morning's WaPo, Wilbon pointed out another reason the Colts will win - because it's PEYTON, if the Jets D so much as BREATHES on him, they will be penalized the likes of which we have never seen. Ponder that, knuckleheads.

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Pre-season a-go-go

Man, I leave you kids alone for one minute and look what happens!

Brett Favre's a Viking.

Westy's injured (OK, that's not so surprising).

Jeremy Maclin finally signs, but probably so late that he'll waste a good chunk of his rookie year. Hope that extra coin was worth it, genius.

Plax's attorney finally convinces him to plead guilty and take his two years rather than gambling on, what? 5-10?

Ben Roethlisberger may have sexually assaulted a woman.

Every freakin' Eagle is injured. Well, OK, that's not STRICTLY true, but it sure seems that way watching the Keystone Kops joint that is Eagles/Colts. Oh jeez, AJ, do something. (Although given how little Big Red cares about pre-season games, I suspect winning them might actually b bad luck.)

Ocho Cinco's kicking extra points.

Donte Stallworth kills a guy and gets 30 days. Wait. What? He KILLED a guy, for chrissakes.

And that of course brings me to:

MICHAEL VICK

Raise your hand if you saw that one coming.

Chef Spouse and I heard the news during last week's Cardinals/Steelers pre-season opening game (also his birthday). We were both like "WTF? WTF!!!" Had to re-wind the TiVo. Like, 5 times. For about the first 12 hours, nothing but shock.

So I'm in the airport on my way to Toronto for a business trip the next day, and I call Life-Long Eagles Fan Mom during my layover to, OF COURSE, talk about the Vick signing.

My point? You saw it below - he served his time, he's out, the man needs to make a living, he should be allowed to play again.

LLEF Mom's point? Tony Dungy's vouching for him. That's saying something.

And both McNabb and Reid wanted him.

Hell, the Humane Society's even come around.

Lots of hue & cry about people giving up season tickets. You know what? Do it. I might stand a chance of scoring some in my lifetime.

So now that we have him, what do we plan to do with him? Personally, I'm guessing there's little plan to play him at QB unless McNabb goes down (knock wood) and Kolb's performance in the second half of the Ravens game last year turns out not to have been a fluke. I'm thinking they're planning Westbrook v. 2 - hybrid running back/receiver/decoy/flea-flicker target/wildcat offense.

So Eagles fans, what do you think? Good move? Bad move? Andy had a few too many cosmos one night and did something a little crazy?

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Old Quarterbacks Home

WaPo sports columnist Sally Jenkins wrote a piece today about how retirement's not actually that good for you and about how sports stars shouldn't retire before their time. She cites Lance Armstrong, golfer Tom Watson, and one of my favorite Targets of Ire, Brett Favre as her examples.

So here's the thing: there's a HUGE difference between being a 50 year old golfer and being a 50 year old quarterback. And you would think a sports writer would realize that.

Shoegal, who pointed out the article to me, had this to say as well: "What is it with this guy [Vicodin Boy] that inspires such blind loyalty? I think athletes should retire when we are b-o-r-e-d with them."

Amen to that, sister.

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Brett Favre is a tool

You know how I'm always all like: "Brett Favre is a tool" and everyone else is all like: "No, he's the GREATEST FOOTBALL PLAYER EVER. Bow to the Favre. BOW TO HIM."?

Turns out, I was right.

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