2012 Week 5 Recap

Eagles at Steelers, Sunday, October 7, 2012

Stud of the week: Of course, it's LeSean McCoy. Not only did he make Larry Foote look foolish on his TD catch and run (I quote the ONE true thing Joe Buck has ever said announcing football: "One on one against McCoy, you have no shot. I don't care who you are."), the Eagles went for it on 4th down TWICE during the drive that led to the second touchdown. Who did they give it to? Shady. Did he pick both up? Indeed he did. And he smoked Lawrence Timmons in the process. As I posted to Facebook during the game: "Shady = Superman."

People! Let's not panic!

Yes, the Eagles lost. In Pittsburgh. To a team coming off their bye week. And a QB who has lost precisely ONE home game to ANY NFC team in his ENTIRE career (and thanks to Tommy Lawlor for the stat). 

And yes, Michael Vick turned the ball over twice. But don't assume that an additional 3 or 7 points from the Eagles in the first quarter automatically means a win. It doesn't. Not that early in the game. And remember the Steelers got no points off either turnover.

The defense got no sacks on a QB who's the most sacked guy in football. And no turnovers. Mike Tomlin clearly had his guys ready for the Eagles pass rush.

Here are a few good things:

Michael Vick, after fumbling twice, led yet another clutch fourth-quarter drive to give the Eagles the lead late. Yes, I know, the defense couldn't hold, but it's not like this is the Titans we're talking about.

Andy Reid went for it on fourth down TWICE in that drive, including once when the Eagles were on THEIR OWN 30. Do they convert both at this time last year? No. Honestly, I think the fact that Big Red had the confidence in the team to do that and that they picked up both is maybe the most positive thing to take from the entire day.

And special teams wasn't a disaster. Glad to see you back Colt Anderson!

Is the team perfect? No way, man. Where are the defensive takeaways? Where are the sacks? Why aren't we seeing more big plays from DeSean Jackson (I don't fault Jeremy Maclin, as he's struggling with injury)? And speaking of injury, can I just say: offensive line? Yikes,

But Andy's teams always finish stronger than they start. Does that equal a Super Bowl? Not necessarily, although there's always the "get hot at the right time" hope. But a loss to the Steelers at Heinz Field is not a reason to jump off the Ben Franklin bridge. This was a very tough schedule to start the season. But the Eagles are 3-2 and leading the division. Hella better than last year's 1-4, am I right? And, aside from the Browns, these are not patsy teams they've been facing. The combined record of the teams they've lost to is 6-3, and they handed the Ravens their only loss so far.

In the rest of the matchups:

Rams over Cardinals: Told you so. I can't figure out the Cardinals and Kevin Kolb yet. I do, however, note that the NFC West is the only division where EVERY team has a winning record so far.  That's different. So are the Rams under Jeff Fisher. Sorry Spags.

Dolphins over Bengals: Andy Dalton did not have a good day, and that was pretty much all she wrote for the Bengals.

Colts over Packers: OK, why didn't anyone tell me the Colts were dedicating this game to Chuck Pagano? I might've picked differently. Also, the Packers just aren't the same Pack this year. Also, that was one hell of a comeback rookie Andrew Luck led.

Ravens over Chiefs: The Ravens are not the classiest group of guys in the world, and when even they're telling the Chiefs' fans that they're being a bunch of dicks for cheering when their own QB went down...well, that's saying something. Keep it classy, KC.

Giants over Browns: You know, for about 10 minutes it looked like the Browns might pull off an upset win. And then there was the rest of the game. Poor Browns. Maybe drafting a rookie who can almost collect Social Security wasn't your best choice ever.

Falcons over Redskins: OK, not that I'm happy that RGIII has a "minor" concussion (whatever that is), but you should hear the weeping and wailing about him taking hits here in the DC! NFL Game Day Morning actually did a retrospective on Mike Vick taking hits where they're late, or he's getting driven into the ground intentionally, or hit in illegal ways (and not when he's a runner). What was the common theme? NONE of them were called. Does this feel like the Donovan McNabb or Randall Cunningham years all over again? Hellz yeah. And no matter how much you scream for your QB to "protect himself," as long as their are different rules for guys named Manning, Brady, Rodgers, and Brees than everyone else, it's not going to do any good. Short version: Skins fans, stop your whining and get used to it.

Seahawks over Panthers: OK, the theory was that the Seahawks allowed that safety intentionally. If so, that was too clever by half. Cam did not have a good day. Sophomore slump? Yep, looks like.

Bears over Jaguars: Ouch.

Vikings over Titans: Also ouch.

Patriots over Broncos: The final score actually makes the game look closer than it was. It was really never in question for the Pats. Everybody makes a big deal about the Manning-Brady quarterback rivalry. Considering the fact that Tom is 9-4 over Peyton, maybe people are thinking of the wrong Manning?

49ers over Bills: Another game that was painful to watch. Everybody gets to whip up on the Bills this year, it seems.

Saints over Chargers: Apparently, I underestimated how the rest of the Saints would respond to Drew Brees's record-breaking night. Oops. 

The Texans are currently leading the Jets 23-14, and I'm 10-3 so far in my picks. Gonna be another good week!
 

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2012 Week 5 Picks

This week, the Eagles travel to Heinz Field to take on the Steelers. One order of Keystone Bowl, coming up.
The Eagles are 3-1.
The Steelers are 1-2.
And the Steelers, while still a top 5 defense (at least so far) are aging. And the Eagles FINALLY had a turnover free outing, against a team that's not too bad at causing turnovers. 
That should give us a solid indication of what might happen Sunday.
But....
The Steelers are REALLY good at home. REALLY good. And the Eagles, after an emotional night last Sunday, are due for a let down. And Troy Polamalu and James Harrison are both back. And the Steelers are coming off their bye week.
In sum: Steelers.
In the rest of the matchups...
Did you notice I went 13-2 last week? That's some good pickin'. I even had the RAMS, yo. Makes up for the previous week, when I went 5-11. Ouch.
Cardinals at Rams: Speaking of the Rams, I think they're going to have another good week and take down the Cardinals. I'm guessing it will be a close game, but it's hard to play on the road in a dome.
Packers at Colts: The Colts are also coming off a bye. And play inside. And the Packers have been struggling so far. But come on! Gotta go Pack.
Browns at Giants: The Giants are pissed and likely to take it out on the poor Browns, who will go winless at least one more week. Giants.
Falcons at Redskins: The Falcons will get by the Skins, but it's gonna be a shoot-out.
Dolphins at Bengals: Call me crazy, but I've got the Dolphins here.
Ravens at Chiefs: I'm picking the Chiefs, even though they did me wrong against the Chargers last week. But they can put up points, and they're at home.
Seahawks at Panthers: Again, the Seahawks are mortal away from home, but I think their stifling defense will be able to shut down the Panthers.
Bears at Jaguars: Da Bears. Who are probably feeling pretty frisky after Monday night.
Broncos at Patriots: Tom Brady and Peyton Manning renew their rivalry on Tom's turf. I want to call Broncos, but I just can't. Patriots.
Bills at 49ers: Speaking of stifling defenses, the Bills are dead meat. 49ers.
Titans at Vikings: The Vikings are shocking the hell out of everyone so far this year. Can they do it again? I think they can. Vikings.
Chargers at Saints: I think this will be a bittersweet week for the Saints, as Drew Brees breaks Johnny Unitas's streak of games with a TD, and the Saints lose anyway. Hey, they had to replace large chunks of the team with holograms in order to pay Drew, so there you have it.
Texans at Jets: Did I mention that the Jets have now lost their two best players for the season? And are in serious trouble? Like, SERIOUS? Texans.
On bye: Buccaneers, Cowboys, Lions, Raiders

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2011 Week 5 Recap

Eagles at Bills, Sunday, October 9, 2011 

In attendance: just me and Chef Spouse. I'm on a business trip in Seattle, and his dad lives out here, so he came with.

Menu: room service

Stud of the Week: there isn't one. Seriously. No one.

The DirectTV Sunday Ticket To Go was experiencing some significant buffering issues during the game today. It could've been the fact that I was on hotel wireless. But I prefer to think that DirectTV was trying to protect me from witnessing what Bleeding Green Nation referred to as the "vortex of errors and futility that has ensnared the Eagles." 

If you had put some money on the Bills being 4-1 and the Eagles being 1-4 in week 5 a month ago, you'd probably be able to afford some REALLY good booze to help you dull the pain right now.

Those few seconds of hope I enjoyed when it looked like they might just pull off the comeback win were fun. I enjoyed them. They might be the last I get this season.

What else is there to write about this team? Can't tackle? Check. Like, epically, historically bad at tackling? Check. Offensive turnovers at critical times? Check. Dumb penalties that extend opponents' drives? Check. Lack of defensive take-aways? Check. Doing nothing with whatever takeaways they do get? Check. Ineffective in the red zone on both sides of the ball? Check. Inexplicable coaching decisions? Check, check, check.

"Why wasn't Mike Vick the stud? After all, he broke Randal Scramble's all time QB rushing record today." Well, sure - and he threw four picks (although they weren't all his fault). And let's not forget the brain fart at the end of the half that cost the Eagles three points.

"What about Jason Avant? He had a career day!" Yep, and two critical turnovers. Hands Avant had TWO turnovers. And both at the worst possible times.

Fellow Eagles Maniac and I were Facebooking during the game. I suggested it might be time to sacrifice a goat. She feels like the goat we should start with is Juan Castillo.

How can this team find so MANY different ways to lose?

In the battle between five hundred total yards of offense and five turnovers, five turnovers will always win out. Well, lose. You know what I mean.

I really don't know where the guys go from here. I'm pretty sure Juan Castillo has to go. If not now, then during the bye week. Actually, if the Eagles drop next week's game to the Redskins (which I fully expect them to do), Andy Reid might not have a job after the bye week.

It used to be that, when the Eagles needed someone to step up, he did. Whether it was a big defensive stop, or a takeaway, or a pick-6, or a 14 second McNabb scramble, or Brian Westbrook turning a sure tackle for a loss into a 40 yard gain, or even Freddie f-ing Mitchell catching a 4th and 26, somebody would always step up. Not anymore.

The Eagles have plenty of guys with great fantasy stats. What they don't have is a team. And I don't know how they fix that.

Around the rest of the NFL...

Saints over Panthers: But just barely and on a last-minute (literally in the final minute) TD. The Panthers are going to be really good in another year or two.

Raiders over Texans: If I had known Al Davis was going to up and die, I would've called this game differently. Hey, you think if someone whacks Jeff Lurie, the Eagles might win another game this season?

Chiefs over Colts: I called it! Also, at least there's one team that's worse off than the Eagles!  For the moment!

Bengals over Jaguars: I really need to actually WATCH a Bengals game at some point to check out young Mr.Dalton.

Vikings over Cardinals: Looks like the Vikings have finally figured out how to win games. Hand off to Adrian Peterson. And it took them FIVE WEEKS to remember that?

Seahawks over Giants: You know that thing I said above about how you can't win games if you keep giving the ball away to the other team? Yeah, that. And the Seahawks even lost Tavaris Jackson.

Steelers over Titans: Just when you think the Titans are getting good, they screw up. Just when you think the Steelers are dead, they spring back to life. I should've remembered both of these things in calling this game.

49ers over Bucs: HOLY CRAP. 48-3. And the Bucs are a pretty decent team this year. Frank Gore's clearly back, and maybe, just maybe, Alex Smith is actually turning into a QB.

Chargers over Broncos: Beginning of the Tebow era? Probably. He didn't win, but he did play well, in sharp contrast to Kyle Orton, and he's fun as hell to watch.

Pats over Jets: Their record is better, but the Jets are almost as big a disappointment this year as the Eagles. Almost.

Packers over Falcons: It was all (or nearly all) Falcons in the first half, but you just can't keep the Packers down. Damn, they look good.

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Sunday Schedule, Sunday, October 9, 2011

Another game, another weekend when we're out of town. Yep, we're closed again - in Seattle for work.

Good games to watch this week include:

1 pm - well, I'll be watching Eagles/Bills, thanks to Sunday Ticket To-Go, but I think Raiders/Texans will be a much better game

4 pm - I'll be working. You should catch Jets/Pats

Back next week!

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2011 Week 5 Picks

This week, the Eagles travel to Buffalo to take on the 3-1 Bills. The Bills give up a ton of points, but the Eagles are even weaker on D, particularly with the loss of Trent Cole (who is suffering from the same injury I sustained back at the Eagles Academy in February, which I happen to think is a weird coincidence - he's my favorite player, so maybe that means I'm his favorite fan?). And I'm not so sure the offense can keep pace in a shoot-out, which is what's going to happen Sunday. Bills.

In the rest of the matchups:

Saints at Panthers: Saints. The Panthers are way better this year, but they're not THAT much better.

Chiefs at Colts: I'm gonna do it.  Even though the QB and the coach are having screaming matches on the sidelines, I'm calling the Chiefs. Yep, the Colts are that bad this year. Does anyone else think that Jim Caldwell always looks like he's not sure where he is or how he got there?

Seahawks at Giants: Giants. Even when they were good, the Seahawks had trouble winning on the road. And they aren't good anymore.

Bengals at Jaguars: Bengals. After years of having O but no D, now the Bengals have D and a young QB. Sounds like a winning combo to me, at least this week.

Titans at Steelers: Another upset pick - Titans.

Raiders at Texans: Texans all the way, baby. Although the loss of Andre Johnson does worry me. But Adrian Foster should have a HUGE day against the Raiders' porous run D.

Cardinals at Vikings: In the matchup of Former Eagles QB v. Former Eagles QB, I'm going with youth. The Cards have been right in all their losses. The Vikings have, too, but I think the Cards are trending the right way. Also, I picked them to win the west, so I have to show a little faith, right? Cardinals, who will get their first win EVER in Minneapolis.

Buccaneers at 49ers: The Bucs were uncharacteristically sloppy last week putting away the Colts. The 49ers were uncharacteristically sharp upsetting the Eagles. To me, that says Bucs.

Jets at Patriots: Patriots. The Jets are too inconsistent, and the Pats are, well, the Pats. And Nick Mangold is still iffy for Sunday. Centers: unsung, often unknown (other than Jeff Saturday), vitally important.

Chargers at Broncos: Chargers.

Packers at Falcons: Packers. Who look damned near unstoppable so far. Aaron Rodgers just gets better and better.

Bears at Lions: Lions, baby! And how often would you be able to make that call in, like, EVER?

On bye: Browns, Cowboys, Dolphins, Rams, Ravens, and Redskins

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2010 Week 5 Recap

Eagles at 49ers, Sunday, October 10, 2010

In attendance:  Ex-Navy Cheesehead, Chef Spouse, me, The Executive Committee, Mad Kitchen Scientist

Menu:  It was a Food Lab weekend, so we were finishing up our butter doughs.  Conclusion? Brunch dishes - homemade brioche and croissants, omelettes to order, homemade apple and fig compotes, bacon and sausage, mimosas, bourbon milk punch, really delicious Calvados.  So health food.

Stud of the week:  It's unusual for me to pick the same guy two weeks in a row, but how do I NOT go with LeSean McCoy?  92 yards on the ground, 138 total, a TD...with a BROKEN RIB.  He truly is Shady.  But in a good way.  Brent Celek had a pretty good day too.  I also have to give props to Quintin Mikell, who bagged his first career TD.  And to fireplug Chad Hall, who saw some playing time with Riley Cooper benched by a concussion.  And Nate Allen, who had a truly key tipped pass late in the 4th that kept Frank Gore from catching what almost definitely would have led to scoring the go-ahead TD.

So the good news is that it was a win. And, as I mentioned in my picks for this week, that's never sure thing when the Eagles play in prime time and go west.  The Eagles were competent, and beat a team that's now 0-5.  OK then.

But the real interest was on the 49ers side of the ball.  What is going on with Alex Smith?  He played like crap, up until the San Fran fans started booing him so loud I could hear them WITHOUT the TV on  and chanting for backup David Carr.  Mike Singletary clearly chewed him out - and he came back and kicked butt, scoring 14 points and pulling the 49ers to within 3 points.

Is it just me, or do injuries seem to be kicking extra ass this year?  Brod Bunkley is the latest to go down, with (apparently) a season ending elbow injury. I know you think I'm joking, but seriously, the team is going to run out of players.

Speaking of, it looks like Mike Vick, who Andy Reid swears on a stack of Bibles is still the starting QB, will be back for Atlanta next week.  You *know* Vick's gotta want that, and I'd feel a lot better with him back, since right now we're one bad play away from a Kafkaesque season. 

A final note:  special teams!  GAH!  What the hell is wrong with those guys?  I mean, Ted Ginn is not exactly your grandma or anything, but (say it with me) "C'mon, man!" Those long returns are killing, if it's not using the #1 receiver on special teams and him getting hurt (like, oh, last night).

Around the rest of the NFL....

Jaguars over Bills - OK, so I guess there wasn't a "we just beat the Colts!" letdown.  And Bills?  An 0-5 hole is pretty hard to dig out of.  Did you know that all 4 AFC South teams are 3-2 right now?

Ravens over Broncos - Did I hear right that the Broncos have never beat the Ravens at home?   I know winning on the road is tough, but damn!

Colts over Chiefs - The Chiefs had to lose eventually, but they're still looking solid to make a run at the West.  But Peyton threw no TDs for the first time since...ever?  They won and all, but he looked pretty cranky.

Skins over Packers - Wow.  Didn't call that one.  This was definitely a case of "if you let them hang around, it'll bite you."  The Packers were - are - the better team. But the Redskins hung in and didn't get too far behind, McNabb came up clutch when he needed to (which, carping Philly fans aside, is mostly what he does), and the D came through big when they needed it.  The Skins just wanted it more.  Also, how about that LaRon Landry?  13 tackles and 2 turnovers (a pick and a FF).  And everyone was in a panic about the 5 sacks McNabb took.  Um, it's not November. He never gets hurt until November, no matter what happens.  Come November 1?  All bets are off.

Lions over Rams - WAY over.  44-6 over.  Yikes.  Sam Bradford looked like the rookie he is, throwing two picks and never getting the Rams in the endzone.  He had to take a step back at some point.  Guess that was this week.

Bears over Panthers - Speaking of QB trouble, the Bears had plenty.  Fortunately, they were playing the Panthers, so it didn't matter.  Seriously, backup QB Todd Collins threw for 32 yards and 4 picks.  I think I could do better than that.

Bucs over Bengals - I'm calling it.  The Bungles are back.

Falcons over Browns - Well sure, but maybe I should've called the Falcons to win the south.  Oh well - coulda, shoulda, woudla.  Seneca Wallace went down before halftime, leaving the Browns playing a gimpy Jake Delhomme, who went on to throw two picks.  It's amazing the game was as close as it was (and the Falcons won by 10).

Giants over Texans - Hm.  Interesting.  The Giants figured out how to shut down the run, and it killed the Texans.

Cardinals over Saints - OK, I couldn't really expect the Saints to have another magic season like last year, but they lost to a team that was starting an undrafted rookie at QB for the first time.  Really?  REALLY?  Of course, it's pretty hard to overcome 4 turnovers. 

Titans over Cowboys - HAHAHAHAHA!  I can't believe I got punked into calling the Cowboys to win the division.  At the rate they're going, they'll be lucky to finish 8-8.  And they're doing it to themselves, which makes it even better.  Penalties, penalties, penalties, and mostly dumb shit.  How awesome it that?

Raiders over Chargers - TWO blocked punts?!?  I thought we had special teams troubles.  No wonder the Raiders were able to win this.

Right now, I'm just waiting to see if the Vikings/Jets contest will EVER start.  And the commentators have clearly totally run out of stuff to talk about.

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2010 Week 5 Picks

So there was this post on Philly.com today about how the Eagles are so terrible, and it either means the coaches are awful or the team has no talent. 

Here's a hypothesis:  the team's average age is 15.  They're not terrible - the coaches aren't the worst since Bum Phillips - they're YOUNG.  Many of our starters are within their first couple of years in the NFL.  Yeah, no one wants to say "rebuilding" but that's what we're doing. 

Oh - and Sunday's game?  We don't do well historically in prime time or going west, and we're missing a lot of guys (Vick, Asante Samuel, Riley Cooper, in addition to the guys who are out for the season) - and LeSean McCoy is playing with a broken rib.  And we're terrible against the run - ever heard of a guy named Frank Gore?

Yes, I'm calling 49ers.  They have to win sometime

In the rest of the matchups:

Bears at Panthers:  Da Bears.  They might not be as good as they looked at 3-0, but they're not as bad as the Panthers.

Falcons at Browns:  Falcons.  That thing with the Bengals last week?  Fluke.
 
Packers at Redskins:  Packers.  Although I'd love to see McNabb smoke the team that busted our asses in the first week.  But I'm pretty sure the Packers offense is too high powered for the still-adjusting-to-the-3-4-system Redskins

Rams at Lions:  Rams.  Who have apparently improved this year.  Go Spags!

Chiefs at Colts:  Colts.  I'm still not buying the Chiefs, and the Colts are better than their 2-2 record.

Broncos at Ravens:  Ravens.  Kyle Orton tries to throw for a million yards, he's going to get picked a million times.

Buccaneers at Bengals:  Bengals.  I think.  But they could be imploding already.  Which is a little ahead of schedule, to be honest.

Jaguars at Bills:  Bills.  Jags are in for a let down after their win over the Colts.

Giants at Texans:  Texans.  Despite their win over the Bears last week, I really don't think the Giants are all that good this year.  And I do think the Texans are good, despite their loss to the bloody Cowboys.

Saints at Cardinals:  Saints.  They have to lose eventually, but I don't think it's going to be this week,
even with Drew Brees hurting.

Titans at Cowboys:  Titans.  But this one's kind of a push, because the Titans are all about the run and the Cowboys have been stout against the run so far this year.  Then again, you can't stop Chris Johnson - you can only hope to contain him. 

Chargers at Raiders:  Chargers.  I can call them if they're not blacked out at home.

Vikings at Jets:  Jets, although now that Randy Moss is back in purple, this is going to be a much more interesting game.

On bye: Patriots, Dolphins, Seahawks, Steelers

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Sunday Schedule: Sunday, October 10, 2010

This week brings our first prime-time game of the 2010 season, where we will be facing a 49ers team desperate for a win. But prior to that:

1 pm: Packers at Redskins (we'll have Giants at Texans on the computer)
4 pm: Titans at Cowboys
8 pm: Eagles at 49ers
MNF: Vikings at Jets




Menu:  we'll be Food Labbing this weekend,  doing our first ever two day lab on butter-based doughs.  Which automatically leads to:  all day brunch!  We'll be making brioche and croissants (or at least trying to), which will lead to filled croissants, brioche, brioche French toast, omelettes, fruit compote, brunchy drinks...bring something to go with.  And up your game, because we'll have 6 serious cooks in the house.

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2009 Week 5 Recap

Eagles v. Buccaneers, Sunday, October 11, 2009

In attendance: not me! I'm in Orlando at a conference, so it was just Chef Spouse and Ex-Navy Cheesehead. Insult to injury? I only managed to watch the second half, due to conference responsibilities.

Menu: Chef Spouse tells me he made burgers and oven fries, and Ex-Navy Cheesehead brought us a bunch of fine tequila. Me? Green salad with salmon and club soda. Sigh. Conference.

Stud of the week: Jeremy Maclin, who had his first breakout game. Also AR, who's now one of only 4 active coaches with 100 or more wins. Also DMac, who came back from a broken rib and a month off to post a nearly-perfect 157.2 passer rating. But I have to pick Maclin for the photo, since this is his first time.

So the good about the game is that we're 3-1, second in the NFC East behind the Giants (more about them later), and we did what good teams are supposed to do: beat the teams we're supposed to beat. Also, McNabb looked great - so great, in fact, that he was taken out about 1/2 way through the fourth quarter in favor of getting Vick some snaps. Some people (Bob Ford, I'm looking at you) complained that the offense was only effective while McNabb was on the field, so why are we wasting time with Vick? Um, I don't know - maybe to see if he has anything left after two years in the pokey, when the outcome of the game has already been determined? Some people - and by that I mean Philly sportswriters - aren't happy no matter what happens.

More good? Kolb has put in enough time that if Big 5 goes down again this season(which he won't, knock wood), we're not SOL. And we're overloaded with talent on O. 6 guys with notable receptions yesterday? So much talent that Westy and Peanut were basically able to kick back all game? Are you familiar with the term "embarrassment of riches"? Because that's us.

You want the bad? (you know there's bad) How many penalties can one team commit in a game? I don't know, but I think we were going for the record. Playing that sloppy against a team that's now 0-5 won't kill you, but try pulling that shit against the Giants, and we'll be in BIG trouble.

Also, our defense was not brilliant against the Bucs yesterday. Sure, picks and sacks, but also unable to get off the field on 3rd down. Remember how we got bitch-slapped repeatedly by the Saints in week 2? In week 1, I thought the Panthers were a test, based on last year's record, and that we passed with flying colors. That was before they proceeded to go 1-4. The Chiefs test no one, except, apparently, the Cowboys. Who are enjoying their annual meltdown a little on the early side.

And that is the big problem - are we making hay of our early soft schedule? We haven't really been tested yet, other than by Saints, and we had a guy making his first start under center, so that's a tough call, too (although I will point out that our special teams and defense gave K2 NO help whatsoever that week). And our schedule continues to be forgiving, with the Raiders next week and the rapidly imploding Redskins the week after. Our first real test will be against the aforementioned Giants on November 1. That will tell us a LOT about how the NFC East and potentially the post-season are likely to fall out.

My advice? Enjoy the wins now, and keep your fingers crossed.

Around the rest of the NFL...

Bengals over Ravens. The Bengals are 4-1 and are LEADING the AFC NORTH! Just sit down and absorb that for a minute. The Bengals are finding a way to win this year. And it's not due to an easy schedule. The only game they've lost so far is to the also-surprising Broncos. They've beat the Ravens, Steelers, Browns, and pre-decimated-offensive line Packers. There's lots of football left to play in the 2009 season, but color me shocked about this one.

Browns over Bills. Also, the suck. Defensive battle? Uh, no. Sheer incompetence on both sides.

Panthers over Skins. On Monday Night Countdown, they're all, "Zorn may get dumped during the bye week if the Skins lose to the Eagles on Monday Night Football." Um, if? The only way the Skins win that game is if the Eagles can't find the stadium. I'm in FLORIDA and I can hear the wailing in DC FROM HERE. From where I'm sitting, regardless of what they do at this point, the Redskins are pretty much f-ed this season.

Steelers over Lions. As expected, although the Steelers don't seem to be quite themselves this year, and it once again came down to the 4th quarter. This week, the Steelers kept it together in the 4th, but I'd still be pretty concerned if I were a Steelers fan. Polamalu comes back soon, and that should help, but it can't all be one player, particularly if that one player isn't the QB.

Cowboys of Chiefs. They needed overtime to do it. OVERTIME. HA! We blew the Chiefs out with our making-his-second-start virtual rookie AND no BWest. The Cowboys are NO threat to us this year. Not that they have been in recent memory, but still. OVERTIME. To beat the CHIEFS. If they'd managed to lose, I'd still be laughing.

Giants over Raiders. You know what's amazing about this game? That the Raiders scored at all. The Giants offense must've needed a rest and Eli was like, "Could you please just let the Raiders stay on the field for a while? My boys need a minute to send out for a pizza here. They're hungry from all that running around and scoring."

Vikings over Rams. The Rams merited, like, 7 shout-outs on "C'mon man!" tonight. That's not a stat you want to be winning. Who celebrates in the end zone when you're down by 20+ points? Oh right - Donnie Avery. Tool.

Falcons over 49ers. You know who else is a tool? Dre Bly. The Niners are down 35-10, he manages to pick Matt Ryan, and rather than secure the ball and try to score, he showboats, gets the pick knocked out of his hand, and the Falcons go on to score. Again. Idiot. He should be fined for stupidity.

(Mark Anthony just sang the national anthem to start MNF. He has a REALLY nice voice. I was impressed!)

Cardinals over Texans. I have no idea what happened in this game (other than that I called it wrong). Hey, I'm in Florida here, with no Sunday ticket. Anyone?

Broncos over Pats. OK, so maybe the Broncos are for real. Maybe Josh McDaniels is the second coming of Vince Lombardi. Maybe Dawk really was the answer for their D. Maybe Kyle Orton's only problem all those years was that he was playing for the Bears. That's a lot of maybes. But I'm pretty sure the Broncos are for real. If we play them in the Super Bowl, and Dawk's in orange and blue, I will seriously cry. If we don't get to the show this year, and the Broncos do, I'll bet they win. Deserving Eagles always seem to get their rings elsewhere. Maybe because we've yet to win a Super Bowl. Damn it.

Seahawks over Jaguars. OK, how did the Jags manage to keep it close in the 12-14 loss to the Colts, beat the Titans and the Texans, and then get SHUT OUT by the Seahawks (and spanked by the Cards in week 2)? Again, didn't see the game. Can anyone explain this to me?

Colts over Titans. It's gonna be a LOOOOONG season in Tennessee.

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2009 Week 5 Picks

The Bucs have some problems. They just fired their kicker (who, in all fairness, deserved it). QB controversy? Hell, yeah. Josh Freeman, a rookie who's supposed to be the face of the franchise...later...Josh Johnson, a virtual rookie who did the best he could against the Redskins...Byron Leftwich, who...nah, too easy. And Luke McCown. Unlike Luke and Owen Wilson, who are easy to differentiate, I can never remember which McCown QB is which. No one has that problem with Peyton and Eli Manning. Or even had that problem with Tiki and Ronde Barber. What does that mean? The McCown brothers aren't worth paying even enough attention to to know where they're currently playing/holding clipboards. And I'm obsessed with football! If I can't be bothered to remember where you play, that's a problem. Add to that the second worst defense in the entire NFL (second only to the Browns), and there should be plenty for the Eagles to feast on this week.

Actually, the entire NFC East is feasting on a relatively weak schedule this year. The only decent team in the AFC West is the Chargers and MAYBE the Broncos (but I'm not completely convinced yet), and the NFC South is relatively easy pickings other than the Saints. Well, a soft schedule other than the fact that we have to play each other, of course. For more on this, check out Tommy's most recent post on Eagles Blitz (good stuff, yo!).

All our dinged up starters are back, the Bucs are in serious trouble this year. I'd call it a potential trap game, but c'mon man. There's no way we lose this one, particularly given that Andy Reid pretty much ALWAYS wins the game after the bye week.

Edited to add: Big Red is also going for win #100 as head coach of the Iggles this weekend. Assuming he's successful - as he's likely to be - he will go to a 12-0 record after the bye week, and will join a list of only FOUR active coaches with more 100 or more wins (Jeff Fox, Bill Belichick and Tom Coughlin are the others). Philly fans complain about everything - it's our nature - but good job, Andy!

Ravens/Bengals. Both teams are 3-1, but there's a BIG difference between the Ravens 3-1 and the Bengals 3-1. Sorry, OC - you're still my psycho ego-maniacal-yet-hilariously-funny secret wideout boyfriend. But I'm calling Ravens.

Bills/Browns. The Bills are managing to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory so far this season, but I don't think that will be a problem on Sunday. Bills.

Redskins/Panthers. The Skins have yet to face a team with a win. And yet they're 2-2. Losing to the Giants, sure. Losing to the Lions? Oy. I think the Panthers will get their first win this week.

Steelers/Lions. Oh my. Poor Lions. How did they get stuck playing the Steelers? Oh - that's right. NFC and AFC North play each other this year. Ouch. Steelers.

Cowboys/Chiefs. OK, the Cowboys are a mess this year - at least so far - and with what excuse? No more TO - no more Jessica. The problem is Tony Romo. Or possibly Wade Phillips. Or both. But even Tony and Wade can lead the team past the Chiefs. Cowboys.

Raiders/Giants. OH. MY. GOD. Eli Manning has plantar fasciitis, which hurts list a mo-fo and there's no real cure other than rest, which he's not going to get until, God willing, January. But Raiders, seriously, just "miss" the flight, stay in California, and spend the weekend doing shots. The hangover after a 3 day bender will be WAY less painful than the reaming you're going to take Sunday. Giants.

Vikings/Rams. I think the Vikings have been more lucky than good so far this year. See above RE: Lewis, Greg and Vicodin Boy tossing up a pass where he didn't even know where it was going. But they're not going to need luck or skill to get past the Rams. All they have do is show up. Vikings.

Falcons/49ers. This is my official upset pick. 49ers. I just have a good feeling about them this week.

Cardinals/Texans. Texans, baby! Because I'm picking them every week this year, damn it. Unless we face them in the Super Bowl.

Patriots/Broncos. I think we're going to find out of the Broncos are for real this week. And (sorry Wolverine), I think the answer is that they're not. Patriots.

Jaguars/Seahawks. Jags. Please.

Colts/Titans. This looked like a much better matchup when the schedules came out this summer. That was before the Titans were 0-4. After this week, they'll be 0-5. Colts.

Jets/Dolphins. I suspect Mark Sanchez will get over last week's loss against the Saints and whup up on the Dolphins. Jets.

On bye: Bears, Packers, Saints, Chargers

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Sunday Schedule: October 11, 2009

I'll be at my organization's annual meeting in Orlando starting Saturday, but while I'm stuck in The Land of Mickey, Chef Spouse will still be hosting the weekly football party. Game schedule:

1 pm: Eagles/Bucs (which thankfully should be on broadcast down in Florida)
4 pm: I would guess Pats/Broncos (since that looks like the best game in the time slot)
8 pm: Colts/Titans (unless Chef Spouse, realizing that it's likely to be a blowout, decides to head to Bohemian Caverns to hear Rebirth Brass Band)
MNF: Jets/Dolphins

Menu: Since it's likely to be a small crowd, with Shoegal still on vacation and me stuck in screaming kid-ville, Chef Spouse is thinking burgers.

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