Sunday Schedule: October 18, 2009

What are we watching this Sunday?

1 pm - Giants/Saints. This is the game of the week.
4 pm - Eagles/Raiders. This is not the game of the week.
8 pm - Bears/Falcons. This is going to be pretty good, too.

MNF - Chargers/Broncos. Another solid match up.

Menu - TBA. I've been on the road this week and haven't had a chance to confer with Chef Spouse. Requests? Put 'em in the comments.

Edited to add: Chef Spouse informed me that, as it will be miserably cold & rainy in DC all weekend AND as we are rooting for the Saints to beat the G-men, this would be an excellent weekend for JAMBALYA, baby! Oh yeah - it's on!

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2009 Week 5 Recap

Eagles v. Buccaneers, Sunday, October 11, 2009

In attendance: not me! I'm in Orlando at a conference, so it was just Chef Spouse and Ex-Navy Cheesehead. Insult to injury? I only managed to watch the second half, due to conference responsibilities.

Menu: Chef Spouse tells me he made burgers and oven fries, and Ex-Navy Cheesehead brought us a bunch of fine tequila. Me? Green salad with salmon and club soda. Sigh. Conference.

Stud of the week: Jeremy Maclin, who had his first breakout game. Also AR, who's now one of only 4 active coaches with 100 or more wins. Also DMac, who came back from a broken rib and a month off to post a nearly-perfect 157.2 passer rating. But I have to pick Maclin for the photo, since this is his first time.

So the good about the game is that we're 3-1, second in the NFC East behind the Giants (more about them later), and we did what good teams are supposed to do: beat the teams we're supposed to beat. Also, McNabb looked great - so great, in fact, that he was taken out about 1/2 way through the fourth quarter in favor of getting Vick some snaps. Some people (Bob Ford, I'm looking at you) complained that the offense was only effective while McNabb was on the field, so why are we wasting time with Vick? Um, I don't know - maybe to see if he has anything left after two years in the pokey, when the outcome of the game has already been determined? Some people - and by that I mean Philly sportswriters - aren't happy no matter what happens.

More good? Kolb has put in enough time that if Big 5 goes down again this season(which he won't, knock wood), we're not SOL. And we're overloaded with talent on O. 6 guys with notable receptions yesterday? So much talent that Westy and Peanut were basically able to kick back all game? Are you familiar with the term "embarrassment of riches"? Because that's us.

You want the bad? (you know there's bad) How many penalties can one team commit in a game? I don't know, but I think we were going for the record. Playing that sloppy against a team that's now 0-5 won't kill you, but try pulling that shit against the Giants, and we'll be in BIG trouble.

Also, our defense was not brilliant against the Bucs yesterday. Sure, picks and sacks, but also unable to get off the field on 3rd down. Remember how we got bitch-slapped repeatedly by the Saints in week 2? In week 1, I thought the Panthers were a test, based on last year's record, and that we passed with flying colors. That was before they proceeded to go 1-4. The Chiefs test no one, except, apparently, the Cowboys. Who are enjoying their annual meltdown a little on the early side.

And that is the big problem - are we making hay of our early soft schedule? We haven't really been tested yet, other than by Saints, and we had a guy making his first start under center, so that's a tough call, too (although I will point out that our special teams and defense gave K2 NO help whatsoever that week). And our schedule continues to be forgiving, with the Raiders next week and the rapidly imploding Redskins the week after. Our first real test will be against the aforementioned Giants on November 1. That will tell us a LOT about how the NFC East and potentially the post-season are likely to fall out.

My advice? Enjoy the wins now, and keep your fingers crossed.

Around the rest of the NFL...

Bengals over Ravens. The Bengals are 4-1 and are LEADING the AFC NORTH! Just sit down and absorb that for a minute. The Bengals are finding a way to win this year. And it's not due to an easy schedule. The only game they've lost so far is to the also-surprising Broncos. They've beat the Ravens, Steelers, Browns, and pre-decimated-offensive line Packers. There's lots of football left to play in the 2009 season, but color me shocked about this one.

Browns over Bills. Also, the suck. Defensive battle? Uh, no. Sheer incompetence on both sides.

Panthers over Skins. On Monday Night Countdown, they're all, "Zorn may get dumped during the bye week if the Skins lose to the Eagles on Monday Night Football." Um, if? The only way the Skins win that game is if the Eagles can't find the stadium. I'm in FLORIDA and I can hear the wailing in DC FROM HERE. From where I'm sitting, regardless of what they do at this point, the Redskins are pretty much f-ed this season.

Steelers over Lions. As expected, although the Steelers don't seem to be quite themselves this year, and it once again came down to the 4th quarter. This week, the Steelers kept it together in the 4th, but I'd still be pretty concerned if I were a Steelers fan. Polamalu comes back soon, and that should help, but it can't all be one player, particularly if that one player isn't the QB.

Cowboys of Chiefs. They needed overtime to do it. OVERTIME. HA! We blew the Chiefs out with our making-his-second-start virtual rookie AND no BWest. The Cowboys are NO threat to us this year. Not that they have been in recent memory, but still. OVERTIME. To beat the CHIEFS. If they'd managed to lose, I'd still be laughing.

Giants over Raiders. You know what's amazing about this game? That the Raiders scored at all. The Giants offense must've needed a rest and Eli was like, "Could you please just let the Raiders stay on the field for a while? My boys need a minute to send out for a pizza here. They're hungry from all that running around and scoring."

Vikings over Rams. The Rams merited, like, 7 shout-outs on "C'mon man!" tonight. That's not a stat you want to be winning. Who celebrates in the end zone when you're down by 20+ points? Oh right - Donnie Avery. Tool.

Falcons over 49ers. You know who else is a tool? Dre Bly. The Niners are down 35-10, he manages to pick Matt Ryan, and rather than secure the ball and try to score, he showboats, gets the pick knocked out of his hand, and the Falcons go on to score. Again. Idiot. He should be fined for stupidity.

(Mark Anthony just sang the national anthem to start MNF. He has a REALLY nice voice. I was impressed!)

Cardinals over Texans. I have no idea what happened in this game (other than that I called it wrong). Hey, I'm in Florida here, with no Sunday ticket. Anyone?

Broncos over Pats. OK, so maybe the Broncos are for real. Maybe Josh McDaniels is the second coming of Vince Lombardi. Maybe Dawk really was the answer for their D. Maybe Kyle Orton's only problem all those years was that he was playing for the Bears. That's a lot of maybes. But I'm pretty sure the Broncos are for real. If we play them in the Super Bowl, and Dawk's in orange and blue, I will seriously cry. If we don't get to the show this year, and the Broncos do, I'll bet they win. Deserving Eagles always seem to get their rings elsewhere. Maybe because we've yet to win a Super Bowl. Damn it.

Seahawks over Jaguars. OK, how did the Jags manage to keep it close in the 12-14 loss to the Colts, beat the Titans and the Texans, and then get SHUT OUT by the Seahawks (and spanked by the Cards in week 2)? Again, didn't see the game. Can anyone explain this to me?

Colts over Titans. It's gonna be a LOOOOONG season in Tennessee.

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2009 Week 5 Picks

The Bucs have some problems. They just fired their kicker (who, in all fairness, deserved it). QB controversy? Hell, yeah. Josh Freeman, a rookie who's supposed to be the face of the franchise...later...Josh Johnson, a virtual rookie who did the best he could against the Redskins...Byron Leftwich, who...nah, too easy. And Luke McCown. Unlike Luke and Owen Wilson, who are easy to differentiate, I can never remember which McCown QB is which. No one has that problem with Peyton and Eli Manning. Or even had that problem with Tiki and Ronde Barber. What does that mean? The McCown brothers aren't worth paying even enough attention to to know where they're currently playing/holding clipboards. And I'm obsessed with football! If I can't be bothered to remember where you play, that's a problem. Add to that the second worst defense in the entire NFL (second only to the Browns), and there should be plenty for the Eagles to feast on this week.

Actually, the entire NFC East is feasting on a relatively weak schedule this year. The only decent team in the AFC West is the Chargers and MAYBE the Broncos (but I'm not completely convinced yet), and the NFC South is relatively easy pickings other than the Saints. Well, a soft schedule other than the fact that we have to play each other, of course. For more on this, check out Tommy's most recent post on Eagles Blitz (good stuff, yo!).

All our dinged up starters are back, the Bucs are in serious trouble this year. I'd call it a potential trap game, but c'mon man. There's no way we lose this one, particularly given that Andy Reid pretty much ALWAYS wins the game after the bye week.

Edited to add: Big Red is also going for win #100 as head coach of the Iggles this weekend. Assuming he's successful - as he's likely to be - he will go to a 12-0 record after the bye week, and will join a list of only FOUR active coaches with more 100 or more wins (Jeff Fox, Bill Belichick and Tom Coughlin are the others). Philly fans complain about everything - it's our nature - but good job, Andy!

Ravens/Bengals. Both teams are 3-1, but there's a BIG difference between the Ravens 3-1 and the Bengals 3-1. Sorry, OC - you're still my psycho ego-maniacal-yet-hilariously-funny secret wideout boyfriend. But I'm calling Ravens.

Bills/Browns. The Bills are managing to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory so far this season, but I don't think that will be a problem on Sunday. Bills.

Redskins/Panthers. The Skins have yet to face a team with a win. And yet they're 2-2. Losing to the Giants, sure. Losing to the Lions? Oy. I think the Panthers will get their first win this week.

Steelers/Lions. Oh my. Poor Lions. How did they get stuck playing the Steelers? Oh - that's right. NFC and AFC North play each other this year. Ouch. Steelers.

Cowboys/Chiefs. OK, the Cowboys are a mess this year - at least so far - and with what excuse? No more TO - no more Jessica. The problem is Tony Romo. Or possibly Wade Phillips. Or both. But even Tony and Wade can lead the team past the Chiefs. Cowboys.

Raiders/Giants. OH. MY. GOD. Eli Manning has plantar fasciitis, which hurts list a mo-fo and there's no real cure other than rest, which he's not going to get until, God willing, January. But Raiders, seriously, just "miss" the flight, stay in California, and spend the weekend doing shots. The hangover after a 3 day bender will be WAY less painful than the reaming you're going to take Sunday. Giants.

Vikings/Rams. I think the Vikings have been more lucky than good so far this year. See above RE: Lewis, Greg and Vicodin Boy tossing up a pass where he didn't even know where it was going. But they're not going to need luck or skill to get past the Rams. All they have do is show up. Vikings.

Falcons/49ers. This is my official upset pick. 49ers. I just have a good feeling about them this week.

Cardinals/Texans. Texans, baby! Because I'm picking them every week this year, damn it. Unless we face them in the Super Bowl.

Patriots/Broncos. I think we're going to find out of the Broncos are for real this week. And (sorry Wolverine), I think the answer is that they're not. Patriots.

Jaguars/Seahawks. Jags. Please.

Colts/Titans. This looked like a much better matchup when the schedules came out this summer. That was before the Titans were 0-4. After this week, they'll be 0-5. Colts.

Jets/Dolphins. I suspect Mark Sanchez will get over last week's loss against the Saints and whup up on the Dolphins. Jets.

On bye: Bears, Packers, Saints, Chargers

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Sunday Schedule: October 11, 2009

I'll be at my organization's annual meeting in Orlando starting Saturday, but while I'm stuck in The Land of Mickey, Chef Spouse will still be hosting the weekly football party. Game schedule:

1 pm: Eagles/Bucs (which thankfully should be on broadcast down in Florida)
4 pm: I would guess Pats/Broncos (since that looks like the best game in the time slot)
8 pm: Colts/Titans (unless Chef Spouse, realizing that it's likely to be a blowout, decides to head to Bohemian Caverns to hear Rebirth Brass Band)
MNF: Jets/Dolphins

Menu: Since it's likely to be a small crowd, with Shoegal still on vacation and me stuck in screaming kid-ville, Chef Spouse is thinking burgers.

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2009 Week 4 Recap

Bye Week, Sunday, October 4, 2009

In attendance: Just me & Chef Spouse, thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I got home from a 4 day conference in Orlando mid-afternoon Saturday and was in need of a little downtime.

Menu: Chef Spouse's super-yummy cream of tomato soup with grilled cheese sandwiches. Yum!

Stud of the Week: DirecTV's Supercast, hands down. Sunday was killing me - Pats/Ravens playing opposite Bucs/Redskins AND Saints/Jets playing opposite Broncos/Cowboys. Short of running back and forth between the kitchen and the living room, what's a football fan to do? Chef Spouse's big brain to the rescue. "Wait! Grab one of the laptops!" Within minutes, TWO games on at once IN THE SAME ROOM. Did you hear that singing? It's the football angels. I'm usually the farthest one can possibly get from being a corporate shill, but that seriously made my whole damn day.

In Eagles news, we managed to avoid the cavalcade of injuries that hit the NFC East yesterday by conveniently not playing. Good move, team! We have enough injured players, thank you very much. And with the Axeman back, it's like old home week. Who's next? Hugh Douglas? Wolverine will decide he's sick of the thin air in Denver and come on back? Jaws decides to drop the microphone and suit up?

In other news, it's great that the NFL strongly supports Breast Cancer Awareness month. Really - there are lots of of female football fans, and the males all at least have a mother, if not sisters, wife, girlfriend, cousins, nieces, daughters, etc. What's not great? Pink gloves and/or shoes with red uniforms. Purple? Sure. Green? Yeah, but not Jets green. Blue? Fo' shizzle. Orange? HELL NO.

OK, enough foreplay - on to the games.

Skins over Bucs. The Skins did EVERYTHING they could to hand that game over. Jason Campbell had an 18 QB rating in the first half. 18! It was painful to watch. And yet, they won. Conclusion? Yes, the Bucs really are *that* bad. Dear Josh Johnson: look down at your chest. Is it covered in a midnight green jersey with a big #5 in the middle? No? They don't expect to scramble around for 8-10 seconds and then make something happen, with your arm OR your legs. If you ain't McNabb, it ain't happening, son. Edited to add: the Bucs have fired placekicker Mike Nugent. Not surprising given the fact that he couldn't find the middle of the uprights with graph paper, a protractor, and his high school geometry teacher. Not that a few field goals would have helped against the Giants, but it made the difference Sunday.

Pats over Ravens. OK, am I the ONLY ONE who noticed that the officiating was TERRIBLE in that game? Look, if you want the Pats to win so bad that you're willing to call roughing the passer on any defender in the same ZIP code as Rocks Brady, you really need to quit being a zebra and run a Tom Brady fan club full time. Meanwhile, the refs were too busy passing Rocks mash notes to actually call anything on that Pats. Meanwhile? Coming after DMac? Chainsaws are allowed (on even-numbered weekends). By the way, Trent Dilfer is freaking out on this topic on Monday Night Countdown as I type this. You know what's common in all the roughing calls? White QB. You know what's common in all the calls that weren't made and should have been? Black QB. I'm just sayin'.

Bears over Lions. Do *either* of those teams have any defense at all? Has the NFC North become the "no D" zone? 48-24? And all the Lions games have been like that so far. Unfortunately, the Lions may have lost their rookie QB to a knee injury. OK, maybe NEXT year is the year they get it together.

Bengals over Browns. It took them all but 4 seconds of the ENTIRE overtime to do it, but the Bengals are 3-1, kids. Yep, leading the tough AFC North with the Ravens. Hm - that whole tie thing? Maybe it's the Bengals....

Texans over Raiders. Well, yes. Good teams beat teams they're supposed to beat. Average teams beat teams that really suck (see below: Redskins over Rams). Did you hear? Texans are showing signs of H1N1. That's not good.

Colts over Seahawks. Is anyone else worried about the fact that Peyton Manning just plays on, no matter what? No Tony Dungy - no problem. No Marvin Harrison - no problem. Is he actually the Terminator?

Jaguars over Titans. Man. The Titans were a sexy pick for AFC South this year. Not for me - I picked the Texans. Because I'm crazy like that. But still. 0-4 is not good. Ouch.

Giants over Chiefs. Um, yeah. But they only beat them by 11 points. Slackers. Also, they're reporting that Eli Manning's heel problem is plantar fasciitis. I've had that, and it hurts like a mo-fo. And can take MONTHS to go away (particularly if you're still active). Good news for us!

Dolphins over Bills. Just when I give up on the Dolphins, they win a game. What's the over/under on TO throwing Trent Edwards under the bus?

Saints over Jets. Drew Brees had a relatively bad day, and the Saints made Mark Sanchez look like the rookie he is anyway. Call me crazy, but I see another post-season Eagles/Saints matchup in this year's NFC Championship game. You know how I was all "the Ravens have O - be afraid." Well, the Saints have D, so you know what to do. Duck & cover.

Broncos over Cowboys. Kyle Orton did everything he could to lose that game, and Champ Bailey and Wolverine were all, "No way, man." And thank you for that. It wasn't pretty, but it was a win. And Tonyboy had another bad game, which always makes me happy, because it's bad for his fragile ego. Edited to add: Wilbon's column this morning reminded me of something I should have mentioned - THE play of the game was Brandon Marshall's sweet go-ahead touchdown, where he smoked about 1/2 the Cowboys defenders, slipped about a dozen tackles, and found the end zone. Wanna watch it again? Me, too.



Wilbon also wondered why Romo chose to throw at Champ Bailey so much. I don't think Romo *wanted* to throw at Champ. I think his thought process went something like: "Hmmm - where to put the ball? Option A: throw towards Champ. Damn, he's be to, like, 9.7 million Pro Bowls. That's not good. Option B: Shit! Is that Brian Dawkins?!? When did he become a Bronco? I'm still having nightmares about him from the last game of the 2008 season. And the last game of the 2006 season. Is he stalking me? Isn't that illegal? Champ it is."

49ers over Rams. On Football Night in America, Keith Olbermann was all: Spags is like, "Is there a spot on your coaching staff?" to Mike Singletary. HEE! Also, true. Poor Spags. The Rams are epically bad. Hey, they lost to the Redskins.

Steelers over Chargers. So the Steelers problem this year has been blowing 4th quarter leads. And they went into the half at 21-0. And the Chargers had a terrible first possession after the half. And the Steelers scored again, going to 28-0. And Chef Spouse and I went up to bed, thinking the game was O-V-E-R. And the Chargers brought it back to 38-28. The Steelers are not getting past the Ravens (who should have won their game with the Pats this week had everyone not been too busy kissing Tom Brady's ass) this year.

Final thought: Go Pack! Edited to add: the Pack, sadly, did not go. Their main issue seems to be that their QB has trouble completing passes from a sitting position. I know they've had some injuries, but their O line is REALLY bad. Y'all need to give that boy some protection, or he'll be on IR by week 8! And even with that, they ALMOST pulled it off. Damn. Another week (or maybe season) of "That Brett Favre. Isn't he DREAMY?" from all the commentators.

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2009 Week 4 Picks

NEVER have I been so glad to see an early bye week. Lots of guys need to get healthy, starting with Big 5...Westy...Peanut...Kevin Curtis...Celek (how could he not need a week off after the pounding he took against the Chiefs?). And did you see the Axeman is back? Dude, he's almost as old as I am. Hope his bionic knee holds up better than Westy's new ankle.

So, on to the picks (which are going to be brief this week, because I'm at a conference):

Lions/Bears: I'm pulling for the Lions to extend their streak to 2! Go Lions! (it's pretty unlikely, but I need an upset pick, right?)

Bengals/Browns: One of these teams is looking like they might not be too bad this year, and it's not the Browns. Bengals.

Raiders/Texans: The Raiders have the beginnings of a team if they could just fix their QB. The Texans have the beginnings of a team if they just had some defense. Fortunately, lack of defense won't be a problem this week. Texans.

Seahawks/Colts: Colts. Anyone who will wear lime green jerseys doesn't deserve to win.

Titans/Jaguars: There's NO way the Titans go to 0-4, right? Right? Titans.

Giants/Chiefs: Chiefs. SIKE! Giants.

Ravens/Patriots: Ravens. Patriots, your time at the top of the AFC has come to an end.

Buccaneers/Redskins: The Redskins will continue their new tradition of handing teams their first win. Bucs.

Bills/Dolphins: Bills will get to .500 against a Pennington-less Dolphins.

Jets/Saints: Damn, should this be a good game. Can anyone shut down the Saints blisteringly hot offense? The #3 ranked Jets defense stands the best chance of any of their opponents so far, but the thing is, the Saints D ranks a lot higher than the Jets O. To me, that says Saints, baby!

Cowboys/Broncos: Wolverine has had some of his best games in recent years picking off Tony Romo. I don't see that changing this week. Broncos.

Rams/49ers: Even without Frank Gore, the 49ers should walk all over the Rams.

Chargers/Steelers: C'mon Steelers! Pull yourselves out of your early season slump! Steelers.

Packers/Vikings: Oh man, do I want the Pack to win this week! I might have to borrow Ex-Navy Cheesehead's cheesehead to wear for the Monday night game. Bring it, Packers!

Other teams watching from the couch in the man cave this weekend: Cards, Falcons, Panthers

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Sunday Schedule: October 4, 2009

Never thought I'd be so happy to see an early bye week! Man, could we use it to help Big 5, Westy, Peanut, Kevin Curtis and I don't even know who all else get healthy!

Anyway, we'll still be watching the football Chez Snark, regardless...

1 pm: Likely Redskins/Buccaneers, but we'll also be keeping an eye on Giants/Chiefs (which will probably be a blow out)

4 pm: Cowboys/Broncos, but we'll also be keeping an eye on Jets/Saints

8 pm: Chargers/Steelers - should be a good game!

MNF: Packers/Vikings - should be another good game!

Menu: Chef Spouse is thinking grilled cheese & cream of tomato soup, because he's mostly been working from home the past few weeks and wants the soup for lunch! Bring something that will go with!

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